Farce the Music: college football

Sep 15, 2023

College Football Fans “F***ing Pumped” by Dan + Shay Performance on Gameday

Dan + Shay, a pop duo from Nashville, performed at ESPN Gameday in Tuscaloosa, AL before the Texas/Bama game this past Saturday, and college football fans could not have been more thrilled.

“Are you f***ing serious?” asked Longhorn fan Jimmy Redd just before the big event. “I’m drunk off about thirty-leven Busch Lights, but I’m serious when I say this: I cannot BELIEVE we get to hear them today! They're almost as good as beans in chili. F***ing pumped!”

Loud “DAN AND SHAY” chants broke out across the crowd and a wave started up as the raucous crowd laid down their pithy and silly Gameday signs to watch the the duo in all their glory. The group, Dan Smyers and Shay Somebody, has had great success in recent years convincing mainstream radio that their music is country, racking up awards, airplay, and legions of excited fans.

“I’m ready to run through a wall,” shouted Kayleigh Miller of Vestavia Hills, as the superstars took their marks on stage. “I hope Coach Saban and the team are watching this to get jacked up for the game!”

Over a thumping beat, and lightly strummed guitars, the megastars performed a medley of their smash hits, including “Tequila,” “She Keeps Them in Her Purse,” and “Can I Pick Out the Wedding Theme?” When the short concert was over, football fans in attendance and across America were indeed “ready for some football” as Hank Jr. once sang.

“They could not have possibly picked out a more badass way to get us turnt!” said Leo Halverson, a Tide fan from West Memphis. “I’m happy as s**t they knew exactly what the demographic for SEC college football wanted and needed this morning. ROOOOOLLLLL MOTHERF***ING TIDE!!!!!!!!!!!”

Alabama, the host team whose campus Dan + Shay played on, lost 34-24.