Farce the Music

Oct 4, 2012

3 Up 3 Down: October '12

3 Up

Kacey Musgraves - Merry Go 'Round

This song is EXACTLY what country radio needs right now: an infusion of reality. I don't mean scripted reality, I mean the gritty, hard-working, regret-filled reality that most people actually live. This track reminds me of a lot of Lori McKenna songs, but Kacey definitely has her own voice here, relating the resignation of a life settled for in a small town. Also reminiscent of Miranda Lambert's quieter tunes, but "Merry Go 'Round" is more powerful than anything she's released in a while. It's getting some early buzz and adds at radio - let's just hope the powers that be don't wuss out and let this great song go the way of other recent downers.

Gary Allan - Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain)

This song isn't particularly country sounding, but at least it gets away from the angry-sounding rock of Allan's recent work. His voice is given room to shine and shine it does, bringing back the falsetto and the feeling of some of his early work. Even if it's no "Smoke Rings in the Dark," it's comforting to have Gary Allan back on the radio, sounding as great as ever.

B+

Eric Church - Creepin'

Swampy, atmospheric and just weird, as country radio goes, "Creepin'" is a song that only someone with Church's track record could release to country radio with a straight face (okay, anybody not named Borchetta). Though the instrumentation is pretty rocked-out, the imagery and Eric's voice are undeniably country. If country music MUST stray from its roots further and further each year, this is an okay direction for it to go. "Creepin'" is well-written, strongly performed and 180° from everything else in the top 40.

A-

3 Down

Florida-Georgia Line - Cruise

See if any of this sounds new and unique to you: "Chevy with a lift kit," "farm town," "down a back road," "bikini top," "long tanned legs" …anything? Bueller? Throw in some auto-tune, poor grammar ("baby, you a song") and the fact that this song fits right into the Aldean/Bryan/Gilbert trend and you've got another band FTM's going to hate on for the foreseeable future. And I'll even admit the chorus is catchy as hell - almost guilty pleasure catchy - but all the negatives just take it too far in the wrong direction.

D+

Brantley Gilbert - Kick It In the Sticks

See if any of THIS sounds new and unique to you: "barbed wire, moonshine, whiskey" (yes, that's in ONE line), "bon fire," "Skynyrd and George Strait," "bikini tops and Daisy Duke denim," "skinny dippin'" ….anything? Didn't think so. Is this a Farce the Music parody lyric? Nope. Also, in case you haven't heard this, it's basically a metal song. Seriously. It's way heavier than Jason Aldean's "She's Country," which was basically an AC/DC castoff. And BG and Scott Borchetta have the audacity to release this to country radio? Give me a break and stop it with the motherf**king son of a b*tch ass crap sh*t damn f**k c*** d**k $#%^ trucks.

Chris Cagle - Let There Be Cowgirls

Yet another rock song, but at least there are some fiddles and whatnot to keep it a little country. George Strait already did this one so much better with "How Bout Them Cowgirls." "World" and "cowgirls" are rhymed here, what else do you need to know? Cliché as you imagine. There's nothing at all in this song to distinguish it, unless you count the hair-metalesque guitar solo. Cagle came back onto the scene with a country listing song, now he's trying to keep his foot in the door with a female-empowerment anthem that really has nothing to say. Cagle was never an A-lister, but he used to be so much better than this.

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Kyle Park - The Night is Young

Kyle Park - The Night is Young
Listen to the song here.

This seems to be a celebration of youth and staying out well past the late news, both of which are sins. Okay, youth isn't actually a sin, but it is said that "youth is wasted on the young" and the Holy Bible says that children should obey their parents. Well, this parent didn't allow his children to stay out late into the night and consort with unclean persons or partake in alcoholic beverages or give in to lust of the flesh, so Mr. Park would do well to follow these rules as well. The fact that my daughter got pregnant at 17 (she did get married though, at the barrel of a 10 gauge) and my son is currently at Clearview Recovery Center is of no concern to you. Every word in the Bible is law. My wools and linens never cross fibers.

When I was Kyle Park's age, I did my share of partying, but my thirties found me destitute, lonely and riddled with illnesses which required treatment at the health department. Thus, I learned that this late-night lifestyle is not one for young people to aspire to. I stand before you a whole man, with a budding ministry, a lovely wife (to some), a fine double-wide home and a clean health report because I turned from the devil's temptations. Glory be!

Turn from His wrath! If you are still living with your parents, listen to them and come in before the curfew they set (which should be no later than 9:30 PM). If you are a young person living on your own, use Friday nights to study the Word, watch CBN and pray. Bars are dens of sin, above-the-booty tattoos, women wearing boots, Yaygermyster (my son-in-law told me to mention that), vulgar Brantly Gilbert music, tobacco and perverse video trivia. Flee from these, Kyle Park! Fall upon your Wrangler covered knees and thank the Lord for your vocal abilities. Reverse course before it is too late. Put down the Shiner Bock beer. Take your hand off that harlot's thigh. Keep your little pecker inside your blue jeans. Don't sing songs that glorify sin sin sin!!!!