Kane Brown Keeps Trying

What's this? His 23rd single in 9 months?

Shocking Exposé: Shooter Jennings is Actually WWE's Brian Kendrick

Did you know that singer-songwriter, country royalty, man of mystery, conspiracy theorist, podcaster, producer, and jack-of-all-trades Shooter Jennings is also a World Wrestling Entertainment performer? Well, he is and you won't convince me otherwise.

Shooter, despite a busy touring schedule, album producing, radio show hosting, contrails photography, bitcoin trading (or whatever they do with those things), online gaming, and various other nerdy hobbies, also maintains a completely separate career as WWE wrestling cruiserweight Brian Kendrick. This is a fact and not up for debate.

I'm going to lay the evidence out for you to back up my claim, but the science is settled.

The most obvious proof can be seen with your eyes. There might be a little Hollywood makeup magic involved here, but this is the same dude.

WWE Superstar, Brian Kendrick

Country singer, Shooter Jennings

Even without beards, this is clearly the same person.

Kendrick, right.

Shooter Jennings, left.

The next evidence is even more damning. (Damning? We're not casting judgment here, we're just fact-finding.) Anyway, I've met Shooter Jennings. I'm 5'8" and he's a little shorter than me. Brian Kendrick is listed at 5'8". Wrestlers famously add an inch or two to their broadcasted height. So, Shooter and Brian are the same height. They also have similar builds, though during his appearances as Brian Kendrick, it appears that Jennings adds a bit of muscle mass. Hmmm. It's all coming together.

I looked up their ages on the Google machine. Shooter Jennings is 37 years old. Brian Kendrick? You guessed it! 37 years old. Wow, I might get a Pulitzer for this.

Shooter Jennings is a huge wrestling "fan." (Fan, lol… he's a card carrying employee of Vince McMahon's wrestling empire!) Shooter has been to Wrestlemania. He's buddies with Curtis Axel, Kane, and Goldust, and probably some of the other dudes. This is a very convenient front to explain why he spends so much time with the WWE crew, but we know the truth!

Headline from prowrestling.com

Brian Kendrick carries a pirate flag with him to the ring.

This flag is very similar to the one Sturgill Simpson used in promotion for his current album, A Sailor's Guide to Earth.

Shooter Jennings is friends with Sturgill Simpson. So as you can clearly see, Brian "Shooter" Kendrick consistently shouts out his compadre Sturgill as he makes his entrances for wrestling matches. I don't see how anyone could dispute the obvious at this point, but we'll continue.

Wrestlers have feuds. These are long-running public arguments over differences in opinion, girlfriends, misunderstandings, and other subjects. Brian Kendrick has had feuds with John Cena, TJ Perkins, Rich Swann, El Generico, and many more. Shooter Jennings has also had several well known feuds. Pop-country artists, Hank 3, John Mayer, Triggerman... the list goes on. And despite Shooter's love of professional wrestling, I've never seen a photo of him with John Cena. What more do you need?

Now, I didn't bother comparing the schedules of Jennings and Kendrick to see if they had conflicts, or asking either of them if they were the other, because circumstantial evidence is enough for me, as it should be for you. 1+1 is 2. There can be no further doubt.


Oh, you have further doubts? Well, they've never been seen together. BAM!

Shooter Jennings is Brian Kendrick and Brian Kendrick is Shooter Jennings. Case closed.

-----
Exposé by Trailer

New Video: Hurray for the Riff Raff - Hungry Ghost

From the forthcoming The Navigator.

Fun With Google Searches: Luke Bryan, Kenny Chesney, Sturgill, etc.

These are real autocompletes when performing the following searches on Google.


 

Hopefully. For crimes against country music.

Hmmm.... let's see.

Bingo!

I don't see the resemblance, but you do you.

Do you have functioning ears?

2008 answer: He's never nominated.  2017 answer: He hasn't been relevant since 2007.

I have a sneaking suspicion they might.

The whole band?? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I'm guessing a country singer is not a disease. Are you crystal meth?

Old-School Country Fan Who Just Heard of Sturgill Simpson Disappointed by Sturgill Simpson

Jimmy Lee Renner, who hasn't intentionally listened to the radio or watched CMT in years, avoids singers born after 1970, and has never sampled a recommended artist on Spotify, was terribly disappointed in Sturgill Simpson's Saturday Night Live appearance.

Vaguely recalling someone calling "some guy with a weird name like that" the savior of country music a few years back, Renner relented after a friend said he might like Simpson's music and that he was appearing on SNL. Renner stayed up past his usual 8 pm bedtime to suffer through "them perverted liberals telling jokes" in order to hear the supposed "country music Jesus." He says his jaw dropped open, spilling several ounces of Miller High Life when Simpson began to perform.

"That ain't how Hank Jr. done it," exclaimed Renner. "This guy had some fruity little jazz band and a crackhead playing an organ and not a fiddle in sight."

Somehow managing to make it another few minutes longer for Simpson's second tune, Renner was even more offended by the rollicking, sweaty performance of "A Call to Arms."

"Is this what they're calling country music these days?" asks Jimmy Lee. "Is he on tour with Luke Bryant or Cole Hunt or whoever? See this is why I never trust anybody but me about what's what. I half expected uh… who's that popular rap singer now? uh, LL Smoothe J to come out and hip hop around on a verse."

When told about Cody Jinks upcoming appearance on Conan, Renner stated "I don't know who Cody Jinks is and I only watch Leno ...once in a while."