These are actual YouTube comments by Kane Brown & Dylan Scott fans.
Jul 14, 2017
Yonder Comes a Big Deal
By Kevin Broughton
Last year Sturgill Simpson made the best album in country music. This year – fittingly – he’s produced it. Go ahead and circle August 4 – release date for Tyler Childers’ Purgatory, and the day he’ll go from relative obscurity to the bona fide next big thing.
In the late summer and early fall of 2016, J. D. Vance’s Hillbilly Elegy caught the collective eye of book critics and other assorted elites while shining a light on the forgotten white working class folks of Appalachia. If that award-winning book had a soundtrack, it’s Childers’ debut album.
We’ll chat with Tyler between now and then. Till then, here’s a teaser: “White House Road,” from his OurVinyl Sessions (also included on Childers' Red Barn Radio EP). Y’all ain’t gonna believe this guy.
Gif of Hot White Guy Holding a Puppy is the #1 Country Song
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| Ryan Michael Chadson performs "hot dude holding a puppy" (©2017 Chadson/Renaldo/Gorley) |
Ryan Michael Chadson is the muscled hunk behind the "song," and he's as shocked as anyone at its success. "This isn't a country song." he told us, scratching his head, mussing his luxuriously gelled back locks of hair. "Like, how is it played on the radio? I'm so confused."
Popular syndicated country morning DJ Bobby Bones smugly told us "It's like I've said, country music is whatever country fans want it to be." "There's so much evolution in country music right now." he continued, "I'm humbled and excited to be just a small part of it by posting the gif on all of our social media accounts and discussing it constantly on my popular syndicated radio show! But I don't want any credit at all."
Chadson's girlfriend, Lucy Renaldo, also gets her first number one country song, her shadow visible for a millionth of a second in one frame of the hit gif. She is the only female artist in the top 100.
"It just goes to show that we need an itty-bitty, tiny, microscopic even, fleck of tomato mixed in with the lettuce to call it a salad," laughed radio consultant Keith Hill. "Now, if she'd have been holding the puppy, the song would've been dead on arrival, but that's just the way it is and nobody can do anything about it."
Those with a keen eye might recognize the name of a cowriter on the smash hit "hot dude holding puppy." That's right, it's Ashley Gorley, who converted the gif to black and white in Photoshop! This marks the 28,034th number one song for the Kentucky native.
Ryan Michael Chadson, despite his bemusement at the situation, is currently entertaining offers from Big Machine and Mercury. "Well, it beats software engineering, I guess" said Chadson as he perused a glowing email from Scott Borchetta.
Many in the online music critic circles are deriding the historic occurrence, including the typically curmudgeonly Farce the Music and Saving Country Music. Fans, however, see things much differently. "I love it!" said Chadson fan Kimberly Sparks, "Critics are just jealous haters. Who are they to define what a 'song' is?"
At press time, a Snapchat story of a hot bearded guy with a fidget spinner spinning on his abs was going for adds at country radio next Tuesday.
Jul 13, 2017
Alex Williams Performs "Ft. Worth Blues"
This guy's on Big Machine, but I won't hold it against him if he puts out songs like this and covers songs like this:
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