Oct 24, 2019

This Guy Rants About Women on Country Radio


All right, so the controversy of the day is women singing country music. Lots of feminists say their isn’t enough chicks on country radio. They say there isn’t enough babes singing at country festivals. I don’t know what there smoking.

I looked at the country chart and there is at least 6 female singers in the top 40. Last year there was like 3, so that’s a huge victory for the feminazis in my book. They already made me have to listen to 50% more women then I had to in 2018, if my math is right. What the hell more do they want??

Let’s just look at the numbers for a minute. 6 women. That’s more than has ever been president. 6 women. That’s more than has ever been the WWE Universal Champion. 6 women. It only takes one to make me a sandwich, LMAO.

Listen, I have great respect for the female sex. One of them raised me. Women are good at lots of stuff. There better arguers. They are good at shopping. And the female form is my favorite thing to look at in the world. 

But when it comes to country music, it’s a mans world baby. Men drive the pickup trucks. Men buy the drinks. That’s the two things that country music is about in 2019. I don’t want to here a woman singing about “he bought me a drink and asked me to get in his F-150” because that might put me in touch with my feminine side and that’s gay.

Also, girls’ voices are not as good as the guys. There high pitched and they shriek a lot. When I here them sing, it’s like my ex girlfriend yelling at me for accidentally having sex with her roommate. I don’t want to think about bad stuff. And that’s another thing. Women sing about all this serious stuff. I just want to party bruh. I just wanna raise up some Nattys and get wild. You can’t get lit to some babe singing about “girl won’t you stop your cryin’.” That ain’t it sis. 

So anyway, y’all should be celebrating in the street wearing vagina hats or whatever, sense their’s more women on the radio now. I don’t like it but if it makes the lefties shut up, I’ll deal with it. But don’t keep raising a stink about this stuff. Stay in your lane. I’ll stay in mine, swerving in my full size with the Jason Aldean blasting out the damn windows!


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I Had to Use This Quote Eventually


Every 2019 Country Hit



Every 2019 Country Hit
©2019 FTM Satire

Snap beat snap beat snap beat, baby girl
I’m shameless, I’ll rhyme that with world
Hey sweetie, are you here all by yourself?
That’s not creepy cause I sung it smooth as hell

Got a sweet beard and a trendy tattoo
Unkempt shirt and a gelled up do
You can tell I’m a bad boy, I bet
Because of those things I already said

And the chorus just goes…
Oooh ooooh oooh girl
Oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh yeah girl
Oooh oooh yeah

Snap beat snap beat clap beat little thang
Sang that line with a fake country twang
Barely audible fiddle going on
So people think this is a country song

But the chorus be like…
Ayeee ayeee ayeee girl
Oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh yeah girl
Oooh oooh yeah

You know damn well what happens this verse
Got a big truck that never touches dirt
Wanna get in it and get outta here?
I’m tall and handsome so have no fears

Oooh ooooh oooh girl
Oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh yeah girl
Oooh oooh yeah

Snap beat


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