Aug 27, 2016

From the Archives: Country Fantasy Football Team Names

Originally Posted Aug 29, 2014

FTM Fantasy Football Team Names

The NFL gets rolling next week, so it's fantasy draft time! I only have 2 fantasy teams this year. That's low for me.... They're named "Blake Shelton's Ego" and "Reptile Aliens Made of Light." Here are some other suggested music-related fantasy football team names by me and some of FTM's Facebook and Twitter pals. You're welcome to steal them because you probably aren't in the same leagues...
Willie's Buds
Stand By Your Manziel
Do the Sankey Legg -Russell Parmele
The Hell Mama Raised
Cash's Walk the Liners -Ray Weaver
Call Me the Brees
The Men (or Women) in Black
Lawrence Taylor Swift -Perry Brown (of Fire Mountain)
Don't Come Around Here Romo
Touchdown Troubadours
Boy Named Suh
You Never Even Called Me Legedu Naanee
Honky Tonk Heroes
Gridiron Maiden -Scott Bumpus
Wake Me Up Before You Romo -Joe Fink 
Montee Mountain High
Sunday Manning Coming Down -Ryan Depew
She Likes the Bortles (And I Like the Stones) -Ryan Depew
Black Sheep of the Fantasy League
Florida Georgia Linebackers -Mike Holcomb
Gimme Three Downs
Talkin' Seattle Seahawks Blues
Manning, I Feel Like a Woman -Andrew Lacy
Don't Rocca the Jukebox
Bad Bad Cleveland Browns -Matt Bjorke
Don't Cry For Me, Joe Montana -Matt Bjorke
The Snake Farmers
Taylor Swift's Red Zone -Jeremy Plotkin
C.J. Spiller's Still the King
Forte Good Times
Retribution Honkytonkists -Gahteeriffico
Me & Robby G
Let There Be Gronk
Shit Mountain KingTurds -'Rev' Brian T Sloane
Third Rate Romo
Tom Brady & The Heartbreakers
LeSean Remains the Same
Welker to the Jungle -Kenny Graves
The Age of Demaryius -Kenny Graves

Mrs. Stevan Ridley
The Whiskey (Phillip) Rivers

Ballou Ballers -Rita Ballou
Amendola by Morning

*I would include one entry by my good friend Anthony Mayhan, but it was a bit too un-PC.

Aug 26, 2016

2 New Videos: The Handsome Family - Gold & Back in My Day

From the forthcoming album Unseen.

If you don't know of The Handsome Family but they sound familiar... they did the theme song for True Detective season 1.

Clark Griswold's Worst Vacation

Contest entry from Zackary Kephart

Album Review: Justin Wells - Dawn in the Distance

A Review by Trailer

When Fifth on the Floor called it quits last year, it was a real kick in the gut. They were a southern rock band well-beloved around here, and with potential to grow beyond the dive bars and music rooms they were playing. Their songwriting was miles ahead of bands of their ilk, and they possessed a leader in Justin Wells with a powerful, unique and immediately recognizable voice. I felt certain we'd hear from an offshoot of the band, or Justin, eventually, but I didn't know how long it would be.

Thankfully, we didn't have to wait long. Justin is back as a solo act, and he's recently released the stellar Dawn in the Distance.

While there are still moments of almost understated southern rock in the mix, Dawn in the Distance is much closer to being a country album than anything Fifth on the Floor ever released. Justin was adept as the lead singer of a rock band, but he feels more at home here, and the slower tempos allow him to showcase his husky vocals more than ever.

His songwriting also takes a leap forward on Dawn in the Distance, as well. "Going Down Grinnin'" opens with a personal manifesto on moving on from youthful misadventures into adulthood. He's not worried about how past mistakes might affect the journey, though, singing "If a needle in a haystack is the only chance I have, you can burn it to the ground for all I care."

"The Dogs" is a standout. It's another unapologetic portrait of life on the edges. It embraces the underdog life of a touring musician trying to drink away a broken heart. He's trying his best, but the hurt bleeds through even on stage "It ain't easy acting like it ain't personal, and the band asked me not to curse no more."

"The Highway Less Taken" is one of those great southern rock moments, with even some gospel choir-like backing vocals. There's a Dire Straits cover in "So Far Away," where Justin slows the tempo and darkens the mood, giving it a much more haunting feel than the original.

Dawn in the Distance should satisfy every Fifth on the Floor fan, and hopefully find new ears for Justin's ample talents. If it's not an autobiographical journal, he's a damn good actor because you believe every word. There's so much real passion and projected emotion, you'd be a cold soul to come away from listening to this without being affected. Highly recommended to fans of Cody Jinks, Blackberry Smoke, Matt Woods, and the like.


Dawn in the Distance is available on iTunes, Amazon, etc.

Andy Griffith Show Country Reaction Gifs

When your neighbor won't stop playing 
Cole Swindell at a high volume

Hey Barney, can you do your hair like Chase Bryant's?

Waking up the morning after a Lucero concert like...

Dan + Shay is your guilty pleasure? 
I wouldn't have told that.

Overhearing your girl say she just pretends 
to like Cody Jinks because you do

When some old fart says they don't 
make good country music anymore

When you shouldn't have tried 
the 'shrooms at the bluegrass festival


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