Senseless Censorship VIII

Top 10 Changes the Success of Jamey Johnson's "The Guitar Song" Will Bring Upon Nashville

10. Jason Aldean will attempt to grow a beard, unsuccessfully

09. Demo of "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" sung by JJ will be leaked in hopes of damaging his cred

08. Curb Records to sign homeless man named James E. Johnson

07. Country as a whole embraces honesty, eschews pop influences, stops valuing image over substance, returns to roots. (Also, bacon rains from sky and Los Angeles Lakers win Super Bowl)

06. Taylor Swift asked by management to consider a temporary drug habit

05. Title-track duet partner Bill Anderson refuses Brad Paisley's next round of silly between-song skits because he's now a "serious" artist

04. Rascal Flatts' next release will be a double album. Side 1: The "CR" Album; Side 2: The "AP" Album

03. Fame-weary Jamey will disappear into the Appalachians, smoking a pipe, never to be heard from again except in mountain lore

02. Martina McBride will attempt to grow a beard, successfully

01. Eh, pretty much business as usual, cute blondes, fake cowboys, committee written songs, mindless filler between ads

Little Known Facts IV

Emily West wants you to stop stalking her on Twitter.

Taylor Swift's main concern in her career is seeking the adulation and respect of bloggers.

Billy Joe Shaver can play ping-pong with one arm tied behind his back and the other holding a beer.

90s counry star Michael Peterson wonders if you'd like to try BK's new Steakhouse Burger today.

The name Lady Antebellum, loosely translated in latin, means "pretentiously random."

Tim McGraw was born in Delhi.

At least 29 different Georgia, Alabama and Tennessee residents listed "Zac Brown Band" as their employer on last year's tax returns.

Chuck Wicks once looked out over a long autograph line and remarked to his bassist "Do you think we'll get to meet Josh Turner by 3?"

Garth Brooks is frequently brought to tears when critics say he is the cause of country music straying from its roots. He is also brought to tears by carpet burns, Hallmark commercials and very special episodes of The Cosby Show.

Big Kenny is nice.

Faith Hill is a very hands-on mother, says Felicia Ortega, one of the McGraws' Monday nannies.