If you're in the mood to write a song, but don't have any cash-money ideas, sit your fat ass down on your pleather couch and start free-associating! This is pretty much the opposite of work, so you lazy bastards should have a field day with this. First word that pops into your head? Write that sumbitch down. My word is "mezzanine" because I'm looking at the mezzanine of my humble abode. Your house doesn't have a mezzanine?? Oh my bad. Maybe you should free associate more, bitches! Anyway, take that first word you come up with. Yours is probably "overdraft" or "Redbox" or some shit like that. Take that word and see what the next thing that pops into your head associated with that word is. Mine is "courvoisier." So my song would start out being about drinking Courvousier on the mezzanine. Just let that shit develop from there… Courvousier on the mezzanine with a hot latina who studied film at Universidad Americana de Acupulco. That's where my song is headed. Where's yours going? Sipping Steel Reserve on the pleather couch with a fat hag who just lost her job at the strip mall… I'm just guessing, no offense. From this point, use your imagination to fill in a story about the imagery you've just brought to light. Find a theme to tie it all together into a relatable chorus about moonlight and partying, and you've got yourself Frankie Ballard's next top 5 smash! Don't aim too high just yet if you're not me. You've still got to walk before you can run the mofo'ing marathon like yours truly, the pasty skinned Rico Suave, but a start is a start. I hope this brilliant songwriting tip gets you a ton of "views" on your lame-ass songwriting message board, you Ramen-eating peasants. In a dozen years or so, maybe you'll be at the point I was when I helped found Lonestar. Get writing!
*not actually written by John Rich
