Showing posts with label Kelly Clarkson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kelly Clarkson. Show all posts

May 7, 2012

You're Not a Real Country Singer

...if mustang Sally is in yore set list #ewwwwposers - @triplexxxstacy

...if any of your song titles has (Country Version) next to it

...if the vocal intro to any of your songs is "Y'all better crank this one up"

...if you write about the beach, Wear a black straw hat, Wear a beanie, constantly have pop songs w/a banjo call them country or rap -@nolimitcattleco

...if you sing about trucks but drive a Bentley

...if you have glitter on your jeans pockets - @rawhidevelvet

...if you think a "Nudie suit" means you'll be appearing in Playgirl

...if you bought your 1st cowboy hat at the airport - @north_clt

...if you have to schedule country radio station visits around your band Staind's tour dates

...if there's a rap remix of your biggest hit are not being played on sirius outlaw country#60 - @opossumdaddy

...if your last name is Levox, Demarcus or Rooney -Matthew Waga on FB

...if you had to check Wikipedia to see if Merle Haggard was still alive or not

...if you cover "Breakfast at Tiffany's" in concert

...if you're Taylor Swift - @indigo81067

...if you're more into Ed Hardy than Ed Bruce

Feb 24, 2011

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Jason Aldean & Kelly Clarkson

Jason Aldean w/Kelly Clarkson - Don't You Wanna Stay

"If we can make forever feel this way/Don't you wanna stay?" Basically what they're saying here is "Let's do the nasty one more time and see if that's enough to make our elicit relationship continue." Naw, naw, Larry can't get with that. It's never said in this song if the couple reconsidering their love/lust is married or not. I suspect not, given the decay of these formerly great United States of America. I tremble in fear of where we're headed, children. This song sounds to me like the background music in one of them soap opry's when two unmarried people are spending a few PG-13 moments in each other's steamy, hot, naked… uh, excuse me… when they are commencing sex outside the bounds of a Holy union before the sight of the Almighty. They wanna "hold each other tight" and "fall asleep with me tonight"… don't be fooled; they will most certainly not be sleeping until the man has uh, consummated the fleshly interchange and rolled over to go to sleep. The way these two's vocals play off one another is also entirely humanistic and sexual in nature. If I am, as I so rarely am, wrong… and the couple is married, this invitation to trade bodily fluids is in error as well. God intended intercourse only for procreation. It should never be used for Satanic pleasures… and most assuredly not be used as a tool to help a man and wife resolve their differences. This is sin, my friends. Seed spilled not in continuation of the human race for the parental passage of the Lord's message is no better than masturbation. One might as well listen to secular music… this song, for instance. Holy Jesus, I pray for the sanctity of marriage in this country and the souls of both Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson. I also pray that Ms. Clarkson learns that the body is a temple and should be treated as such; not as a storage facility for Hostess cakes and Steakhouse burgers.



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