Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week

Merry Christmas from the FTM Family

...or Happy Holidays, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah or just have a nice day or two off. See you next week!

Have Yourself a 90s Little Christmas

A Country Christmas Story

 

*all quotes from A Christmas Story

If _____ Wrote a Christmas Song...

 If Cole Swindell wrote a Christmas song…

You're my only Christmas wish
With lips like cherry shine
In my truck bed with bows and twine
That's how I made you mine

If Run the Jewels wrote a Christmas song…

Shut the f**k up and lend me your ear
F**kboys know it's that time of year
Fat motherf**ker coming down the chimney
Run them jewels Santa, take that sack home empty

 

If Lorde wrote a Christmas song…

I'm kind of over getting told to rock around the Christmas tree, so there
So all the eggnog got spilled there on the gifts but it wasn't my fault

 If Chris Tompkins wrote a Christmas song…

I just got through delivering toys all over the world
X-box Ones and Frozen dolls for all the bros and girls
Fireball and cookies for me, the reindeer know the way
I'm getting drunk in a sleigh

 If Sturgill Simpson wrote a Christmas song…

Poinsettias swirling round and round
Green and red on thread on thread
Walk that line to Santa's lap
And he whispers "Sonny, it's all crap."