If Walker Hayes wrote a Christmas song
Need some joy in your stockin'? Well baby I gotcha
It's lit and it's bae and I ain't throwing shade
I Snapped you a clue, Word, hit me up too
We gone be totes chillin' this Christmas day
If Future wrote a Christmas song
You know it's enchanting baby, let it snow
Let it snow, let it snow
We here just waiting on santa, girl, so let it snow
Let it snow, let it snow
If Loretta Lynn wrote a Christmas song
Santa came home smelling like peppermint perfume
Lately he's been losing weight, doing Crossfit too
Heard he's got himself a little elf skank round the way
Well, Mrs. Santa's bout to bust that hussy in the face
If Mark Kozelek wrote a Christmas song
I watched a film about Venezuelan crop dusters
Under a chartreuse blanket on my veranda
Pondering what Belinda said last Christmas day
If Colt Ford wrote a Christmas song
Got that icy mud all up on my GMC
Alpines blasting Run DMC
Christmas in Hollis and Christmas in Macon
Woman at the crib got country ham bakin'
If Lemmy wrote a Christmas song
He's got a whip of leather
Skeleton reindeer crew
Snow or sunny weather
He's coming after you
Satan Clause, Satan Clause,
Watch his black sleigh take flight
Satan Clause, Satan Clause,
Naughty or nice, you'll die tonight
