Florida-Georgia Line Blasphemes

If (Classic Country Song) Was Bro-Country

Since bro-country seems to be making a slight return this summer, it seems like a good time to bring back this feature.

If (Classic Country Song) Was Bro-Country

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Patsy Cline - She's Got You

I've got your picture

That you Snapped to me

Screen-shot it with love

Showed it to my homies

Ain't nothing different

Since we've been through

I've got your picture

It's a nude

Waylon & Willie - Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys

Mammas don't let your babies grow up to soyboys

Don't let 'em dip pouches or vote for no cucks

Let 'em be hotties and frat boys and such

Mammas don't let your babies grow up to soyboys

'Cause they'll never lift, bro, and they'll never roll coal

They won't even drive a truck

Tammy Wynette - Stand By Your Man

Stand by your man,

In cut off shorts that cling to,

That shaker mama gave you 

Move that thing like a pony

Dwight Yoakam - Guitars, Cadillacs

Now it's roll bars, rifle racks, Lil Dicky music

Dusty gravel roads that I chill on

Yeah my roll bars, rifle racks, Lil Dicky music

Keep this party lit till the night is gone

Really Dumb Country Reviews: June '18

These are real reviews from a popular digital music service.

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Keith Urban - Graffiti U

Dan + Shay - s/t

Jason Aldean - Rearview Town

Dierks Bentley - The Mountain

Thomas Rhett - Life Changes

Kane Brown

Florida-Georgia Line - Simple

Blackberry Smoke w/Tyler Bryant and the Shakedown Perform "Up On Cripple Creek"

Honest Radio Promo Ads: Riley Green & Jimmie Allen

I didn't have to do anything to this one besides point out all the bro-country signifiers. Oh joy!