Top 10 Worst Country Quarantine House Guests

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10. Garth Brooks

Just cries in the corner the whole time.

9. Kacey Musgraves

Smokes up all your weed. 

8. Gary LeVox

In this temporarily ‘nicer’ era of Farce the Music, I will leave this one alone, but you know why he’s here.

7. Martina McBride

High stakes poker games with toilet paper for money. Constantly setting up booby traps and cleaning her AK for when “shit goes down.”

6. Cody Jinks

Won’t stop reminding everyone that The Rock is a big fan. Unfortunately, Ward Davis had to come along too - it’s a package deal.

5. Justin Moore

Constantly needs help reaching stuff in the cabinet and climbing up on the toilet.

4. Mitchell Tenpenny

Your wife won’t come out of the bedroom because “his staring is getting really creepy.” Refuses to wash his hands.

3. Thomas Rhett

Brings over all his kids and their friends, negating the whole social distancing thing. Wants to have Ed Sheeran karaoke contests 24/7.

2. Sam Hunt

Expects you to keep his hair cut and styled for him. Water bill extremely high from washing all his jogger pants. Wants you to be the snap track for him when he’s writing songs. 

1. Shooter Jennings

Eats all your Funyuns. His ‘essential’ luggage is 5 crates of He-Man lunch boxes.

Eats up all the wifi bandwidth playing video games constantly. Conspiracy theories out the wazoo.

Dustin Lynch's New Album: By the Numbers

*Non-made-up statistics that are at least close to accurate*

Tim McGraw's 15 Cringiest Lyrics

I know he didn't write these, but he picked all of the songs to record,

so there must be an issue with his discernment.

They all gather 'round my teepee

Late at night tryin' to catch a peek at me

In nothin' but my buffalo briefs

I got 'em standin' in line

“Indian Outlaw”

Farmer Johnson's daughters just pulled up in a Jeep

Man he knows how to grow 'em if ya know what I mean

"Down on the Farm"

Then you

Flipped the switch on my dumaflache

Played my piano like Liberace

"You Turn Me On"

She sits quietly there

Like water in a jar

"She's My Kind of Rain"

Back when a hoe was a hoe

Coke was a coke

And crack's what you were doing

When you were cracking jokes

Back when a screw was a screw

The wind was all that blew

And when you said I'm down with that

Well it meant you had the flu

"Back When"

I hope you both choke on a pickle

Man that would tickle me to death

"Do You Want Fries With That?"

Everybody say "Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha"

My friends are always giving me

Watches, hats, and wine

"Last Dollar (Fly Away)"

I spent fifteen hundred dollars on your damn dog's collar 

Put new spinners on your Escalade

"It's a Business Doing Pleasure With You"

She ordered us a drink

It was a purple kind of pink

She said it’s got a shot of a little bit of everything

Mellow yellow umbrella for a fella like me

"Felt Good on My Lips"

Chillin' in the back room

Hangin' with my whole crew

Sippin' on a cold brew, hey now!

"Truck Yeah"

Truck Yeah

Wanna get it jacked up yeah

Let's crank it on up yeah

"Truck Yeah"

I'm in a mexicoma

My my my my my my mexicoma

"Mexicoma"

That girl, she's a party all-nighter,

A little "Funky Cold Medina," little "Strawberry Wine"-er,

That girl, she's a love gunslinger, neon jägerbomb country-okie singer

"Lookin' For That Girl"

That girl she's a sugar sweet drive-by

Hold my dreams in her blue jeans, oh my

"Lookin' For That Girl"

I'm talkin' way outside with the crickets and the dogs and the ye'haws, and the grandmas

Come on, y'all know what I'm talking about

Put your mouth to the spout where the gospel comes out

Way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down

"Way Down"

YouTube Reviews Zac Brown's Mid-Life Crisis

*language warning* 

Kane Brown Fan eCards: August '19

These are actual YouTube comments from Kane Brown fans.

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(Real reviews from a major music seller/streamer - mostly reviews of Center Point Road)