Showing posts with label Gucci Mane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gucci Mane. Show all posts

Jun 28, 2016

If Dallas Davidson Had Written These Summer Classics

FTM ponders what these classic summer hits would have sounded like 
if Dallas Davidson or any of his compadres had written them...
The Lovin' Spoonful - Summer in the City
Don't care bout summer in the city
Spent my whole check on Bud Light and a Yeti
Leave town, cranking up some Diddy
Ain't it sweet to have a girl who's drunk and pretty

DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince - Summertime
And think of the summers chasing ass
Connect the Bluetooth and let the Beats™ Pill blast
Or plug my aux cord and let G-Eazy rhyme and put your truck
In mud, get a dip, 'cause this is summertime

Bananarama - Cruel Summer
Hot country beats
On the gravel we're swerving
Are you down?
Trying to score but
The beer got me wanting to fight
Dwight Yoakam is playing
(Wait, who is that?)
Nah, play some Gucci Mane
Getting loose in the country
This heat got her
Right out her jeans

It's a lit (lit) lit summer
Let's shoot some nudes on my phone
It's a lit (lit) lit summer
Get it on
Don Henley - Boys of Summer

Down on the farm today, I saw a deadmau5 sticker on a Chevrolet

I can see you-
Your tan lines glowin' in the sun
You got that ass dropped down and those blue Costas on, baby
And I can tell you I'll keep your number in my phone
After the bros of summer have gone

LFO - Summer Girls
(no changes)

Mar 13, 2012

In the Year 2030 #8

Top country songs now pine for the "good ol' days" of throwing eggs in the suburbs, playing Wii and listening to Jason Aldean in SUVs.

Mullet returns to prominence as favored men's hairstyle. Despite this, Billy Ray Cyrus still not considered cool.

Former Wrangler spokesperson Jason Aldean now sponsored by Sansabelt.

Gucci Mane gets laser removal of the ice cream tattoo on his face. Replaces it with equally perplexing roll of toilet paper.

Lady Antebellum, due to the pressures of misguided political correctness, changes their name to Lady Diversity.

Foo Fighters the only remaining rock band in existence. Oh wait, that's already true…

Colt Ford inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame. Trailer admitted to a mental facility.

Eric Church refuses to take his high blood pressure meds, cementing his status as an outlaw with the over-50 crowd.

Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton film a Cialis commercial with them "whitetail hunting." 

Taylor Swift buys an island for a summer home. Changes name from Oahu to Sparkle Island.

The still-single Kenny Chesney's autobiography reveals what everyone always suspected about him - he wears sleeveless shirts due to upper arm dermatitis.


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