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| This'll get blood pressure rising! |
{Here are several ads in a row so you’re not quite sure if the story is already over or not. Some of you will leave at this point, but we got your click.}
BUT IT CONTINUES!!! Garth did a thing. What thing?, you ask. Perhaps it was about BEER!
BEER BEER FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES BEER TRANS DIVERSITY A-HOLES BEER!!!!! Can you imagine the gall it took him to say or do whatever this article is about????
This article doesn’t even have enough words to count as an article, does it? Not my problem. Did you hear about GARTH PANTYHOSE WAYLON GARTH FINGER****ING???????? HOLY SHIT THAT’S CRAZY! This’ll definitely play out poorly in the Facebook comments section with friends tagged, John Rich mentioned, and several fights planned that would actually take place if the combatants weren’t in Texas and North Carolina respectively, which is too far to drive for a fist fight, IMO. Regardless, it’s more ad revenue on FB for just mentioning GARTH GARTH GARTH. ALSO CHRIS GAINES IS BACK!
{Another ad for one of our sister websites or possibly Bass Pro Shop or AARP, depending on what the algorithm determines is best targeted to you.}
And here’s where we remind you about that time Garth did that other thing you vaguely remember. HA HA SERIAL KILLER GARTH WHERE ARE THE BODIES, and here’s a screen shot of that creepy video he did and a link to another similar story but if you keep scrolling it’ll go to some more Garth or Miranda stories anyway!
Here is the clever quip to end the article, followed by a cutesy reaction gif or some shit.
At press time, Garth Brooks was [check back in 30 minutes for the next story about him].
{Animal attacking a dumb person at a national park video.}
MIRANDA'S HUSBAND REVEALS HOT BODY ON INSTA!
JELLY ROLL TO GUEST ON EVERY ALBUM FOR THE NEXT 13 MONTHS!
BUCKY COVINGTON ANNOUNCES NEW NASHVILLE FOOD TRUCK
