Oct 31, 2009
YouTube Gems: Hank III
Happy Halloween! Satan makes a guest appearance in this video, so I guess it fits the day.
Oct 29, 2009
New LoCash Cowboys Merchandise
The guys have barely gotten started on their journey towards eventual takeover of country music and already, LoCash Cowboys have some cool new products on the shelves. Pictured items are not accurate in compared relative size, thankfully.
Oct 28, 2009
Top 10 Country Song Remixes That Will Never Happen
In light of Colt Ford's "Fat Shan Remix" of Joe Nichols' "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off," FTM takes a look at country song remixes/reworkings that will never see the light of day.
Top 10 Country Song Remixes That Will Never Happen
10. George Jones - "High Tech Redneck 2010" (ft. T-Pain)
09. Taylor Swift - "You Belong With Me" (Autotune Duet with Kanye West)
08. Hank Williams - "I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive" (EarlyGrave Remix w/Tupac)
07. Willie Nelson & Lil Wayne - "To All the Ho's I've Loved Before"
06. Drew Kennedy - "Good Things" (Phillies Suck Remix w/Colt Ford)
05. Dixie Chicks - "Cowboy Troy, Take Me Away" (w/Cowboy Troy)
04. Johnny Cash - "I Walk the Line" (featuring Snoop Dogg)
Say What? It did happen? Oh. :(
03. Eminem w/Carrie Underwood - "Stan, Don't Take the Wheel"
02. Rascal Flatts - "Bob That Head/Hey We Want Some -----" (w/2 Live Crew)
01. Waylon Jennings - "Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way" ("F It All" Swizz Beatz Remix)
Top 10 Things Garth Brooks Has Been Doing During His Retirement
10. Going to Walmart in his Chris Gaines outfit to see if anyone recognizes him
09. Redecorating the house in Mo Betta
08. Listening to Todd Snider
07. Hitting the P90X® to lose some girth
06. Plotting the final step in his utter destruction of country music
05. Randomizing order of songs for next 12 hit compilations
04. Swinging around the family room on wires
03. Getting kickass good at Sudoku
02. Rearranging piles of money
01. Trisha Yearwood
Oct 27, 2009
Oct 26, 2009
Drew Kennedy - An Audio Guide to Cross Country Travel
Singer/songwriter and generally cool guy, Drew Kennedy releases his new album An Audio Guide to Cross Country Travel Tuesday. I'll leave the reviews to the pros, but trust me, this is a great album (already in FTM's top 15 of the year), filled with soulful vocals and thoughtful lyrics. Drew may be a part of the Texas scene but he's a different animal altogether. Far from frat-country, his songs are well-crafted and literate. His rich voice may take some getting used to for some, but once you get it, you love it. Give Drew and his new album a listen!
Oct 25, 2009
Oct 23, 2009
YouTube Gems: Wrinkle Neck Mules
I just discovered Wrinkle Neck Mules last year, but they've quickly become one of my favorite bands. They are an addictive alt-country band with bluegrassy vocals and strong storytelling. I couldn't find any live performances of songs from their latest album (and definite FTM top 10 of '09) Let the Lead Fly, but here's "Mecklenburg County" from their album Pull the Brake. The term "Americana" is too-frequently thrown around to describe any band that's vaguely rootsy, but I think in this case, it is most apt.
Oct 22, 2009
Top Ten Rejected Names For John Rich's Forthcoming Son, Cash
New Rascal Flatts Merchandise
Phillips has introduced a new line of Rascal Flatts themed vacuum cleaners. Their reasoning behind this move is obvious. Here is a first look at the new model.
Oct 21, 2009
.99 Review: LoCash Cowboys
.99 Review
LoCash Cowboys
"Fresh Off the Farm"
The People's Take
Alsome!!!!!!!$$$$$ (5 Stars)) – I can't believe they are not in the top iTunes list, but they do deserve it. They work so hard to get this far, I wonder wats goin to happen nxt wit them- go LoCash!!!!!
-by Gambet
Love these guys! (5 stars) – So excited to finally get some new LoCash!! I just love Fresh Off The Farm! If you've never seen these guys in concert, I highly recommend it! They rock down the house and are so friendly, too! They are just the best! Love you guys!
– by CheerCat35
My Take
So the saying goes: "You can't judge a book by its cover." I call B.S. The LoCash Cowboys are douchebags. Look at them (album cover at bottom of article). One guy's got the blu-blocker shades on and lots of bling, a Trent Tomlinson-issue dew rag, a carefully unkempt shirt and tie, ripped jeans, watch chain, manicured facial hair, the pursed lips kissy face and the two-gun salute. The other guy is similarly attired and displays the "yeah!" face with a one gun salute/"what up" sign. So, yeah, it's indisputable. Strike one.
Could we give 'em a pass if the music was good? No. But fear not, it's not. Good that is.
What really pisses me off about the song is that it's not bad by current Nashville standards. I'd hoped to make fun of the production values, because I'd heard a couple of songs from their self-released debut and it was charmingly awful. Not so now, what with Jeffrey Steele at the helm, they sound just like everybody else in Nashvegas. Like a PG-13 Rascal Flatts even. So, they robbed me of that angle for talking trash about them. Strike two.
I'm not going to actually review this song (do I ever?). All you need to know is that it sounds something like the aforementioned Rascal Flatts by way of Big & Rich's "Save a Horse..." and that the 'boys provide you with this handy-dandy checklist to cull potential girlfriends:
[ ] wears Daisy Dukes
[ ] wears cowboy boots
[ ] is cornfed
[ ] is fine as Ellie May
[ ] green as John Deere
[ ] has a hourglass figure
[ ] gets you high as a barn
[ ] can load shotgun
[ ] can fish
[ ] can milk a cow
[ ] is homegrown
[ ] is country fried
If your woman doesn't meet at least five of these criteria, it's time to seriously consider kicking her to the curb.
Or not.
Hey, Cowboys. Strike Three. You suck!
Total value: .09/.99
The Checklist
Church/God
Mama
BootsName Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Lost Love
LoveHometown Pride
Kindly Advice
Truck
Whiskey
Beer
Life Affirmation
USA
Soldiers
Pop Sheen
Oct 20, 2009
Oct 19, 2009
Top Ten Ways You Can Know a Country Album Sucks Without Listening to It
New series... self explanatory. Top ten lists. Hope ya like.
Top 10
Ways You Can Know a Country Album Sucks Without Listening to It
10. Singer in cover photo wearing too much Mascara... and it's a dude
09. Ed Hardy thanked in liner notes
08. The album is named after a Hall & Oates song
07. One of the musicians listed is a DJ
06. The lead single is more autotuned than Akon
05. Roughstock gave it a positive review*
04. There's more than one song title with a combination of 2 or more of these words: country, I'm, from, boy, where, backwoods, sticks, proud, raised, way, farm
03. Sticker on cover says "With special guest Colt Ford"
02. The band's name features an intentionally misspelled word
01. If the word "Flatt" is on the cover, but "Scruggs" or "Lester" isn't
*Just kiddin' Matt. :)
Oct 18, 2009
Oct 16, 2009
Oct 15, 2009
Oct 14, 2009
Tomorrow is...
Country Day: October - featuring parody album covers from Rodney Atkins, Miranda Lambert, George Strait and Carrie Underwood. Check back tonight or tomorrow for the post!
Oct 13, 2009
Oct 12, 2009
John Rich's Songwriting Tips #19
You need to think ahead of the curve. Right now, I'm thinking about all those scoundrels crossing the southern border of our great United States and while they are illegals and should be shot on sight, if they do happen to get into the land of milk and honeys, they will one day be consumers. It is well known that the Mexicans like pop and country music. We in Nashville have not yet appealed to that interest. I have written many songs lately that use Mexicano imagery and ideals, for example: one song is about stealing cars and eating refried beans. This is a vast untapped source for money, I mean, music. The Mexicans are coming so keep your eyes on the horizon. And your wallet.Not actually written by John Rich.
Oct 11, 2009
Oct 9, 2009
YouTube Gems: Gremlins II Redux
Here's the Gremlins II trailer re-edited with new music from Where The Wild Things Are. What a difference the soundtrack makes in giving something emotional weight! Hilarious.
Oct 7, 2009
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