Garth Brooks Country Reaction Gifs

When your team gets smoked by South Alabama but you're trying to be positive

Are you serious when you say you'd prefer a minor injury over attending a Kane Brown concert?

When there are so many bodies, you can't remember where they all are

McDonalds is bringing back the McRib!

And you can get 10 free McNuggets with your first app order!

May the Lord strike me down if I ruined country music

When you're country, but they throw on some Bruno Mars

When a second person in 2 weeks says Oliver Anthony's song is better than anything Isbell ever wrote

When the fiddle player hasn't taken a shower in a week

Country music is just farm emo

When Garth takes his song "Mr. Blue" a little too seriously

How can you make Trisha Yearwood laugh for an hour with only 9 words?

You're Not a Real Country Singer!

Thanks to our Twitter and Facebook friends for the replies!

*note - some people gave straight-forward responses, some gave ironic/facetious answers. 

I'll leave it up to you to decide which is which*

You're Not a Real Country Singer if...

You're never photographed with the bill of a cap actually in its correct position

You were born in Georgia any time after 1976 - Jeremy Harris

You can't rap! -‪Ed Kosmicki‬ 

You can't think of any use for a field that doesn't involve parking your truck and drinking. 

-‏‪@GreenEyedLilo‬ 

If your backwards trucker hat and jeans both are bedazzled. - John Deery

You don't know who Roy Acuff is -‪Justin Chambers‬ 

Your tour rider specifies low-carb beers and veggie trays

you feel the need to inform people any chance you get that you are a real country singer. 

-@ashleyannmusic

You think Montgomery-Gentry is classic country. -‪Michael Crabtree‬ 

you compare yourself to Justin Bieber @emperorcupcake2

You use the word "beer" or "redneck" like a comma. 

-‪Anthony Wentzel‬ 

your dance instructor has to synergize with your marketing director -Seth Wilson

I can't see your nuts pulsing through your jeans. -‏‪@Senor_Fern‬ 

If the only "back road" you've ever driven on was the one behind the Urban Outfitters 

where you drank that Pabst your friend's older brother scored for you. -‪Barry Toffoli‬ 

You can name more Bruno Mars songs than you can Merle Haggard songs

the instruments on your track don't match up to the ones being held on stage. -‏‪@JillChristinaWV‬ 

Your wife/girlfriend/manager has your balls in her purse - Kyle Smith

....your mic stand doesn't include bling. -‪Mark Allan Atwood‬ 

Your worst injury was from falling off stage during a Nicki Minaj medley

you've never had to lube up your pants to put them on. -@gradywsmith

Your back pockets have more sparkle than a handmade Valentines card. -‪Derrick Cox‬ 

All your fans "never liked country music before" -‪Jordan Pancho Kirk‬ 

You blocked Farce The Music on Twitter -‪Mark Breunig‬ 

Realtime Trax: FTM's Song-Pitching Service

A new FTM service to help connect artists, publishers, and songwriters. Promoting only the hottest, most tempo-driven, active-listener grabbing Top 5-potential tracks from Nashville's youngest and most focus-group tested! Interested parties: Contact FTM for details!


My Love On Fleek
Chris Destefano, Josh Kear, Ashley Gorley, and 12 other writers combined on this hip, bouncy number about a young man's deep and abiding love for the hoochie he just met in a club. Mid-tempo, but pumping. Sounds Like: The Weeknd meets Sam Hunt. And yes, the title is correct. We're trying to stay cool with the millennials, son. *Thomas Rhett considering a hold on this track.


Summertime Thirst
The girls are looking hot in their bikinis and cutoffs and the guys are all ripped and five o'clock shadowed! Feeling thirsty? After hearing this killer cut, you will be! Primed and perfect for release as a single in early April of 2016 for a summer peak, this Bruno Mars meets Bruno Mars jam will have speakers bumping in all the jacked up 4x4's! Pour a drink and move on this sure hit immediately!
Shane McAnally, Ashley Gorley, and Ross Copperman writers.
*Thomas Rhett considering a hold on this track.


Turn Up (Da Country)
This club banger written by an army of LA and Nashville's brightest songwriters is the perfect Spring/Summer 2016 cut. Features tons of slang we think will be "raging" next year and is completely customizable to house/EDM/rock/hick-hop edits. We've crunched the numbers and this one's a hit! Perfect for male vocal band or hot, blonde female.


She's Basic, But She's Mine
For the C-level male artists, this one should endear artist to the average-looking, 15-30 year old female demo who love pumpkin spice. Important career-extender type song. Mid-tempo with current references and a bridge that even MILFs and cougars can get behind, this one's a sure Top 20-ish hit to get your Scotty McCreery-strata artist on a major tour as a curtain jerker. Written by The Warren Brothers & John Rich.

Single Review: Thomas Rhett - Crash and Burn

Thomas Rhett loves him some Bruno Mars. He's made that clear in past interviews. He even covered Mars' "When I Was Your Man" for a one-off single. So? Big deal, you say. Most of us like Bruno Mars; he of throwback rhythms, sock-hop soul, and late night come ons. Mars appeals to teens and olds alike with his general classiness and big, catchy smash hits that are ubiquitous to movie soundtracks, kiddie dance teams, trendy clubs, and awards show spectaculars alike. That's all true, but Thomas Rhett is a country singer, or at least when he filled out the job application his dad handed him, he checked off "country singer" on the Preferred Specialty field.

"Crash and Burn," Rhett's new single, may not be the least country single ever released to country radio (Sam Hunt and Jerrod Niemann have something to say about that), but it continues the push away from anything resembling Hank, Waylon, Tammy, Alan, or hell, Garth… that the Nashville machine continues to support. On the plus side, at least it errs by going the classy-pop-R&B route rather than the trashy-hick-hop route of most of Rhett's peers, but still …it's not country. It's catchy as hell, but it's not country.

The vocals are decent enough, but the performance fairly lacking in the soul you might expect from a tune like this. The songwriting is solid (Chris Stapleton's name is on it after all), it's the production that does all the damage. Snaps, claps, whistles, beats… (I'm not sure I hear a single stringed instrument in there). The backing vocal (which I believe is an unfortunately disguised Stapleton) at times even sounds like that great country music icon, Nelly.

Mainstream country has been trying to rebrand the "country" in its genre name as "every type of music popular in the country called America" rather than "rural music" for a while now. The argument can be made that Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton (at times), Garth Brooks and others already took country away from its roots with their crossover music and that it's all cyclical… but I'm not sure it is anymore. Cyclical now means trading one non-country trend for another, bro-country for EDM for blue-eyed soul for who knows what's next. I'm doubtful the cycle will ever return to traditional or even neo-traditional.

"Crash and Burn" isn't a flashpoint or a particularly aggressive slight against all traditional country fans hold dear; it's just another signpost in a great genre's loss of identity. This sounds like a smash hit; I just wish it was on pop radio alongside Bruno.


-Trailer