Famous Protest Songs Updated for 2020

Fear not, this picks on everybody.

Original Post

Watch the NFL My Ass (I Won't Watch the NFL)

A Can of Soup’s Gonna Fall

American Twittiot

All She Wants to Do is Tik Tok

The Cancellation Will Not Be Televised

Agent Orange Man Bad

Influencer Blues (Make Me Wanna Holler)

The Lonesome Death of Mr. Peanut

If You Tolerate Masks, Your Children Will Be Next

Walking on the Offended Side of Me

Defund Tha Police

Not Ready to Make Rice (Uncle Ben’s)

Meme is Murder

Working Class MAGA

Free Joe Exotic

Get Up Stand Up (is Ableist)

Mercy Mercy Me (The Quarantine)

Another Pylon in the Wall

We Shall Be Socialist

Trump Boat Parade (Bulls on Parade)

Biden in the Wind

Murder Hornet Most Foul

The Night They Drove Hobby Lobby Down

Bernie's Bands

No Sleep Roundup: RATM, Cody Jinks, Lucero, Stevie Wonder

Hello friends, 

It’s me, your pal Robert Dean. I’ve been MIA lately because of some pretty big life changes, making a television show is stressful, and I’ve been trying to finish my new book all while keeping my shit together. So, forgive my absence. 

That aside, let’s do the dance. 

My Chemical Romance are coming back. Nerds who used to wear women’s jeans in 2003 are fucking stoked. Hopefully, they write new music that’s more “Three Cheers for The Black Parade” and less of whatever the whack Queen shit was. 

Rage Against The Machine are finally playing some shows. Thank god Zach has agreed to come out of hiding. I only wrote about this very thing like, three years ago or whatever. They’d better play Calm Like a Bomb or I’m going to be pissed. (Yes, I’m flying to one of the shows because I’m a fanboy.)

RANDOM THOUGHT: Go buy Joshua Hedley’s record, Mr. Jukebox. It’s a fucking crime people slept on that dude. He should be household name for dudes who wear embroidered shirts unironically. Easily one the best country records of the last five years and people don’t know it. 

Sturgill and Tyler are going on tour together. That’s going to be a massive deal. They’re playing the United Center in Chicago. For context, that’s where Paul McCartney plays when he comes to town. All this for a guy who wrote a song about turtles while on acid. Shit is wild. 

Clark County, NV declared November 1st ‘Five Finger Death Punch Day’ and yes, that dude still has a beard of dreadlocks. 

Evan Felker apparently recorded a tune with Carrie Rodriguez before Turnpike Troubadours went on stupid hiatus. Look, man. The song was fine. It sounds like Shovels and Rope. But for fucks sake, get sober, go to church, whatever. Get Turnpike Troubadours back on track. 

Cody Jinks dropped a pair of records….and they both went to number 1. In the words of the mighty Jack Nicholson, “watch out. Big balls comin’ through.”

Need a random album suggestion? Go back and listen to the first Stevie Wonder record. When he was a kid. That shit will blow your mind. “I was made to love her” is my jam. 

Recently, Lucero made a bunch of the Among the Ghosts demos available for streaming. You know our nerd asses were all about that. Collectively between Trailer and I, we’ve probably seen Lucero over 30 times. 

Famous Protest Songs Updated For Modern Times

Cracker From Muskogee

The Tide Pod and the Damage Done

Chick-fil-a Took My Baby Away

(Okay, not a protest song, but it had to be here)

Hurt Me SoulCycle

Evviva Il Papa John’s

Talkin’ Colin Kaepernick Blues

I Was a Teenage Incel

Give Hashtags a Chance

Your Punisher Decal Won’t Get You Into Heaven

This Meme is Your Meme

Big Yellow Uber

Doxxing in the Name

Outrage of a Small Circle of Friends

De Keurig Man

Yasss Save the Queen!

White Claws for Peace

Would Jesus Wear a TAG Heuer?

Cancellation Song

Nike Punks F*** Off

Let’s Retweet the President

Hobby Lobby… the Punishment Due

Saturday Night Music: Rage Against the Machine

An Open Letter to Zach De La Rocha

Sup dude. The track you did with Run the Jewels was excellent. Super stoked on it. The stuff you did with the dude from Mars Volta, also badass.

But, dude. We need to talk.

There’s the elephant in the room. You know what it is. I don’t have to spell it out. We’re gonna need you to pick up the phone and give your dudes a call. This Prophets of Rage thing ain’t working. Believe me, we all love Public Enemy and Cypress Hill, but we love Rage Against The Machine more. We need you back on the microphone.

The situation is dire, and there isn’t a better voice in all of music that spits pure acidic bile like yours. For over twenty years, we’ve had Rage Against The Machine as an arbiter, a reality check of what the cultural pulse is, what we’re blind to, and whose hands have blood on them. Have you watched the news lately? We have a situation that requires a swift pen and mighty vengeance illuminating the issues at hand.

When you wrote verses during the Bush and Clinton eras they were siren songs to the masses that couldn’t grasp the world around them. You fell silent, and now, we need that fire back, and we need that vitriol. I know you didn’t write “The Ghost of Tom Joad,” but if those words aren’t poignant as ever, then what is?

Sure, many bands have a lot to say, but few have your megaphone, your stage. We need the world to feel that anger again as the streets are full of protests – who will be the soundtrack? We need Rage Against The Machine.

So, just hit me up or something….

Your pal,
Robert Dean

YouTube Gems: Smooth Jazz Against the Machine