Oct 1, 2015
In the Year 2030: Predictions for Luke Bryan, FGL, etc.
Tyler Hubbard, having blown through $156 million earned during his FGL days,
takes a job more suited for his skills - guessing fair-goers weights and ages
Singers, songwriters, and musicians now pay music fans to listen to their singles and albums
Parmalee still releasing singles from 2013 album
Jason Aldean's fifth wife takes half his remaining estate in their divorce
(3 Miller Lites, a subscription to hugejugs.xxx, and a faux vintage Skynyrd t-shirt)
Tyler Farr parks his minivan on his ex-wife's lawn and throws empty craft beer bottles at her window
R Kelly still peeing on people, but now because he is unable to control his bladder
Queen Swift of the UN Worldstate Council has all the music bloggers
who used to make fun of her voice beheaded on live television
Brad Paisley now writing goofy-ass songs about Metamucil,
retirement funds, and erectile dysfunction
Kenny Chesney has trouble visiting the beach with his old blue walker
Keith Richards cuts back to a pack of cigarettes a day
Casey Donahew Band plots reunion tour. 35-50 year old bros
throughout Texas and Oklahoma brush up on fist-pumping skills
Sam Hunt custom orders Hitler-youth-hairstyle toupé
Every single attendee at summer country music festival arrested for something or other
Colt Ford still doesn't have any hits
Luke Bryan found destitute and crack-addicted in an Atlanta alley,
clutching a frayed pair of skinny jeans
Sep 30, 2015
Little Known Facts: September 2015
Kenny Rogers recently announced his retirement from singing,
five years after the last time he moved his mouth.
A 2012 FCC ruling requires all FM stations that broadcast mostly traditional sounding
country music be placed on a frequency that ends in an even number.
Paparazzi recently caught Jason Aldean in a public restroom
with his jeans pulled down, attempting to unwad his panties.
In 2014 Gary Levox donated his belly button lint to Eskimos in upper
Alaska to make new clothes for the village's children.
When classmates at the 10-year high school reunion would ask hick-hop artist Lenny Cooper
what he does for a living, he'd tell them "foot fetish porn actor" to avoid embarrassment.
When classmates at the 10-year high school reunion asked Bucky Covington what he does for a living,
he said "I sing with my cover band at high school reunions like this; I didn't actually graduate."
Tyler Hubbard's favorite instrument is GarageBand on a MacBook Air.
Luke Bryan was late for his newest music video shoot consisting of pretty girls in lifted trucks
due to his Volkswagen having a flat tire on the way to pick up his skinny jeans from the tailor.
Ryan Adams made his choice of which album to cover by drawing a name from a hat.
Besides Taylor's 1989, the other options were Chad Brock's Yes!,
2 Live Crew's Back at Your Ass for the Nine-4, and Trixter 's self-titled debut.
Taylor Swift was so excited when someone told her Ryan Adams
was covering her album, she Googled his name immediately.
Sam Hunt is so tired of people asking why he considers himself country,
he's just had t-shirts with "$$$" printed on them to point at during interviews.
If Jason Isbell got a free beer for every time somebody asked about
his sobriety in an interview, he could… wait, that's just not appropriate.
Shooter Jennings' next release will be a folk album about hard times in the digital era
entitled Hey Brother, Can You Spare a Bitcoin?
If you stare into a mirror and yell "Yee Yee" three times,
a drunk skank with a 'Merica tube top will appear and give you a handy.
Thomas Rhett recently had keyless entry installed in his home because he can never find the key.
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A Trailer & Jeremy Harris Collaborative Effort
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