Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews Old Dominion's "Hotel Key"

It seems like I'm living a lie. I used to review country songs and pop-country songs for this here blog, but these days all Trailer has me listen to are pop and hippity hop and rocking roll songs that still have the gall to call themselves country. It's disheartening and I believe it to be sinful (the lie that they're country; not that I'm reviewing them). But anyway, here we go.

This is another song from Old Dominion, a sleazy looking bunch of boys who like to sing about stalking women and wearing stupid looking hats (according to their appearances, it is probably pulled from the sweat-soaked, smoky pages of their own lives; not that I would judge). Well, I guess that's one way to go about things. It's not a Godly or respectable way, but it's a way. 

"Hotel Key." From the very title, you are immediately aware that some untoward situations are probably about to be recounted. It's not like a song about my wife losing her hotel key at the Million Dollar Quartet show in Branson is good song material for popular radio, so it has to be about fornicating or whatnot.

Annnnnd it is. Oh, ye of the olde dominion, fornicators shall not inherit the Kingdom of God. Put your pecker away and save that thing for your betrothed wife. Sins of the flesh are sins against the body. Flee from doing the sideways shimmy! You'll have a solid 3-5 years of all that you want once you get married. 

Another evil spoken of here is the mary wanner. Don't think I don't know what they speak of here. I'm from the seventies! Your body is a temple! Do you want to bring something into the temple that makes you want to lay on the couch all day watching Life Below Zero and eating Doritos all day? Well, that's what my son-in-law does and he ain't worth a …. I mean, he is not living within the Word at this time.

There's also mention of drinking in this song and you can probably imagine how the Lord and I feel about that. We don't even have real wine at the Lord's Supper, so I sure don't approve of it in a Motel 6 with a floozie and a doobie.

In summary, this song is as wretched as most I've reviewed for Farce the Music and it is also pretty lame. I needed three hours of Gaithers on YouTube to scrub it from my ears. 

F

New Video / Ashley Monroe / "Paying Attention"

From her forthcoming album, Sparrow.

Krusty Krab Memes: Sams, FGLs, Keiths, etc.

The No Sleep Roundup w/Jeremy Squires, Rising Appalachia, etc.

by Robert Dean 

I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. I do it to myself every time, always chasing deadlines or falling down the rabbit hole, reading about some odd subject that ordinary people wouldn’t spend five minutes on. Such is my life. I spent, I dunno, a good half an hour reading about flan. Yes, flan the Mexican desert. 

Today, I’ve been checking my email, wandering around Youtube and wanted to do a “Rodeo of Cool Shit” post where I share stuff I think is either worth checking out or at the very least, entertaining. 

Jeremy Squires 

My friend Michelle Hanks is a mover and shaker in the underground country world. She sends me artists to check out on the regular and one of the dudes she passed along to me was Jeremy Squires. I dig what the guy is doing. His new tune "Gift" features a slow piano that’s straight out of the Radiohead playbook, but country. It’s an odd mixture, but it works. 

Jeremy is all over YouTube and Spotify, so finding his stuff won’t be very hard. The straight-ahead tunes he’s got on Spotify are in the vibe of Jason Isbell meets Bright Eyes sorta thing. It’s not the most upbeat of stuff, but worth a listen if you’re driving down a backroad somewhere on an overcast day. 

Rising Appalachia - Scale Down 

When was I like, 23? My roommate and I were on the couch looking for something to watch. We stumbled on Ryan Reynolds and Amy Smart in the movie “Just Friends” and were immediately rolling our eyes, groaning that we knew it was going to suck. Eventually, as the minutes passed of hate-watching, we set the remote down and laughed along, enjoying the movie. 

The same exact thing happened to me this AM when I stumbled on Rising Appalachia "Scale Down." It’s so oddly satisfying. I checked it out to dismiss the song and the video but couldn’t because it’s unique and challenging. There are quick triphop bits with Lauryn Hill meets Beth Gibbons emoting about the state of the world through biting verses. The whole thing shouldn’t work, and yet, I enjoyed the hell out of it. Kinda the same way I couldn’t stop listening to that Hobo Johnson song last week when it went viral. 

Lost Dog Street Band - I Went Down To Georgia 

Two crusty folks jamming on a fiddle and a banjo out in a field. Lots of brown leather. Meat and potatoes Americana stuff I used to hear the gutter punks strumming on as I’d walk the streets of the French Quarter. Quenches a certain thirst. It’s not breaking any precedent, but it’s a damn fine song. 

And Now We Drink 

Finally, if you’re looking for a new podcast, And Now We Drink proves to be always entertaining with its revolving door of musicians, writers, lots of porn stars, and everyone else floating around Los Angeles. There are drunken tales told by guys like Dino Cazares from Fear Factory or indelicate anecdotes by someone who shoots fetish porn; it’s a mixed bag of what you’ll get when people start drinking heavily. Worth the subscription, especially if you like to hear a lot of risqué stories. 

Roseanne Country Reaction Gifs

When you were about to leave, but you hear Cody Jinks playing

When the TV is stuck on CMT and you're too lazy to find the remote

In the bathroom at a Willie concert

When all the presents are mainstream country CD's

Trying to keep it cool when Mr. Yoakam calls

"Sam Hunt's not that bad"

When the hubby says Miranda Lambert is hot.

"Panic is way better than any Americana band"

Was that you who left all those vulgar comments on Luke Bryan's Facebook page?