Jul 4, 2018
Jul 3, 2018
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 1, 2018
Jun 30, 2018
From the Archives: 10 Worst Voices in Contemporary Music
originally posted some time in 2010
Click links for samples.
Click links for samples.
10. Ke$ha
Honestly, her voice doesn't bother me that much, but I see where the hate comes from. Ke$ha (if that really is her name) sounds like a combination of drunken valley girl, fake b-girl and Paris Hilton. Not exactly a combo that many people are clamoring for. Don't worry haters, she won't be around long. 11:02, 11:03... tick tock tik tok
UK has a tolerable enough everyman voice that really doesn't offend (he's even passable live), but uh, so do a lot of other people who don't actually put their voices onto albums to sell to music fans. He started out as Kid Rock's DJ. Does that last sentence even need a snarky comment?
8. Rihanna
I actually enjoy a lot of Rihanna's songs, but I've got to admit she has a pretty un-dynamic voice. If country music is three chords and the truth, Rihanna's sound is one note and the truth. I'd rather run out into the rain than hear "Umbrella" again. Eay! Eay!
Shooter is a genetic marvel, in my opinion. His dad was handsome and had the booming voice of a honky-tonk god. His mom was beautiful and had/has a lovely voice. Shooter is as ugly as a wet rat chewing on a hornet and only twice as talented vocally.
(Editor's Note: this was not a joke - it was my actual opinion at the time, lol)
(Editor's Note: this was not a joke - it was my actual opinion at the time, lol)
6. Taylor Swift
What more can I say? And why would I have to? She's not that bad, but when you're at the head of the class commercially, is it too much to expect for you to sing above a loud whisper and carry a tune? I will say that I'm almost annoyed enough by the awards shows' recent self-correction in regards to lauding of her work (hey, you guys hitched your wagon to her; you look like hypocrites for shunning her now!) to leave her off this list, but nah. Facts are facts.
5. Gary Levox (of Rascal Flatts)
Gary "The Voice" (to new readers, that really is what his stage name means) might sound "okay" on wax, but his nasal shriek is pretty grating on the ears live. His high notes sometimes call to mind times I accidentally stepped on my cat's foot. That debacle with Jamie Foxx was unforgivable for someone who didn't have much goodwill built up in the first place.
4. Ashlee Simpson
One only need reference the Orange Bowl catastrophe or her disastrous SNL appearance for proof that Ash is the less talented Simpson (and that's saying something). What's even more difficult to believe is that she may have married down artistically.
3. Lil Wayne
This one's kinda a cop-out because, granted, he doesn't make his Benjamins as a singer, but when you put yourself out there as a singer, as Wayne frequently does live and did on his recent utter flop, Rebirth, you gotta expect to get shredded. His rapping voice isn't exactly a thing of beauty so what convinced him to warble is beyond me... oh wait, I know.
2. Bright Eyes/Conor Oberst
Conor Oberst is adored by tens and tens of fans, a veritable cult of douchenality, but I don't get the appeal. He sounds like a goat stuck in a box fan. His tunes are yawn inducing, so he doesn't even get the Bob Dylan pass. He just sucks.
1. "Dixie" Dave Collins (of Weedeater)
You've never heard him before unless you're a stoner (I've only heard him because, like, I've been exploring stoner metal lately ...uh, seriously dude) but Dave's voice is more shredded than anyone else's who's ever vocalized into a studio microphone. He sounds as though he's ingested copious amounts of weed (obviously), whiskey, meth, hot gravel, sand, glass shards, burning cigarettes, metal filings and sawdust. To say he sounds as pleasant as the band's namesake would be an overstatement. Besides, a weedeater can hold a note. Luckily, his fans don't care.
Jun 29, 2018
Jun 28, 2018
The No-Sleep Roundup: Vein, As I Lay Dying, ...Cassadee Pope??
Hey Y’all. Here we are, it’s almost the end of June, and I’m still trucking away in the world of freelance. But, at least I’m alive.
In case you missed it, a lot of special people are dying, and it sucks. We’re down an Anthony Bourdain and a Vinnie Paul. Someone had better keep Ozzy, Mike Ness and Danzig locked away in glass cases.
Trailer informed me that, while it seems like I’ve been writing for Farce for like, ever – it’s only been 2.5 years, which is nuts considering the number of articles, reviews, etc. I’ve written. Check out my first ever piece here about Sydney’s We Lost The Sea.
In other news, Vein’s new record Errorzone is the best hardcore record of the year. Seriously. It’s like hearing Converge at their beginning all over again. (I’m old. I was there.)
Speaking of hardcore, here’s a video of a naked dude going HAAM in the pit
If you care about As I Lay Dying, they’re back together. Dude tried to have his wife killed, so there’s that. We all know the obvious answer as to why they got back together: they weren’t exactly killing it without the jailbird. Here’s their conversation about this hot topic.
Cassadee Pope who used to be in Hey Monday, a pop punk band, is now a pop country singer? Whatever the fuck that is. Well, she’s playing Warped Tour. This world makes no sense anymore.
I guess that’s it from the peanut gallery. See y’all soon. Send me money. I’m broke.
Live Video Premiere / Hawks and Doves (Kasey Anderson) / "From a White Hotel"
Kasey Anderson has had quite the journey. From burgeoning singer/songwriter (and an early Farce "contributor") to Twitter fame and being seemingly on the cusp of a national break-through …and then came the news of wire fraud, a felony conviction, and prison. After serving his time, he quietly slipped back into society with newfound sobriety and heavy remorse …and now Anderson makes his musical return. His new bank Hawks and Doves releases their album From a White Hotel on July 27th, and whether you've come around on him personally or not, you've got to admit that it's good to hear that voice again. Here's the new live video of the album's title track. Hope you enjoy.
From Kasey:
This is a live version of the title track from the Hawks and Doves album of same name, out July 27 on Jullian Records. The song was recorded live at the Living Room in NYC, February of 2018. The song is entirely autobiographical and references my addiction, bipolar disorder, time in prison, and recovery. It also contains these lines, which tie in pretty nicely to the attached screen-grabbed tweet.
“Well, I ain’t no kind of outlaw and I never claimed to be / so you can take that cowboy shit and you can send it out to sea / on a great big wooden ship with all your love’s debris / and set it on fire”
Pre-order From a White Hotel LP or CD: http://kaseyandersonmusic.com/store
Pre-order From a White Hotel Digital: http://smarturl.it/hawksandoves
The Golden Girls: Country Reaction Gifs
When your new boss says "If you like country,
you must really love Sam Hunt like I do!"
New Cody Jinks song out tomorrow
Your bar doesn't have a jukebox with a country song?
By the time an artist has slowly leaked out album details one little hint or puzzle piece at a time.
How we could have prevented the popularity of hick-hop
If you were at a pool party where they only played Florida-Georgia Line, what would you do?
Does the country chart make you sad?
When your friend says she's dating someone who loves Kane Brown.
Jun 27, 2018
If (Classic Country Song) Was Bro-Country
Since bro-country seems to be making a slight return this summer, it seems like a good time to bring back this feature.
If (Classic Country Song) Was Bro-Country
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Patsy Cline - She's Got You
I've got your picture
That you Snapped to me
Screen-shot it with love
Showed it to my homies
Ain't nothing different
Since we've been through
I've got your picture
It's a nude
Waylon & Willie - Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys
Mammas don't let your babies grow up to soyboys
Don't let 'em dip pouches or vote for no cucks
Let 'em be hotties and frat boys and such
Mammas don't let your babies grow up to soyboys
'Cause they'll never lift, bro, and they'll never roll coal
They won't even drive a truck
Tammy Wynette - Stand By Your Man
Stand by your man,
In cut off shorts that cling to,
That shaker mama gave you
Move that thing like a pony
Dwight Yoakam - Guitars, Cadillacs
Now it's roll bars, rifle racks, Lil Dicky music
Dusty gravel roads that I chill on
Yeah my roll bars, rifle racks, Lil Dicky music
Keep this party lit till the night is gone
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