Farce the Music

Jun 6, 2017

Don't Anger The Rock!

Top 10 Things I'd Rather Watch Than the CMT Awards

The 2017 CMT Music Awards airs tomorrow night and features Jason Derulo and Luke Bryan,
Chris Lane, FGL & The Chainsmokers, Thomas Rhett, and lots of other bullshit like that, so...

Top 10 (Awful) Things I'd Rather Watch
Than the CMT Music Awards

10. An old VCR tape from the late 80s where my little brother taped

Care Bears over the last half of Headbangers' Ball

9. Chris Stapleton literally singing the entire Jackson, TN phone book

8. 3 hours of C-Span's online video archive without the aid of caffeine and if I doze off, it starts over

7. This over and over (warning: it's gross)

6. The English Patient

5. Col. Casper's entire video library
(He's a a loon who claimed Elizabeth Cook is into the occult and Tim McGraw is a member of the Illuminati, among other craziness)

4. Manimal

3. My own minor surgical procedure, while awake

2. Donald Trump and Charles Barkley having a debate about the best condiment

1. A Caillou marathon at full volume

Good thing; it's not for kids, dumbass. *the *those? *to?

Sam Hunt - Body Like a Back Road

A song about sex helped you through rough times? You need therapy.

Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - The Nashville Sound

If this record offends your sensibilities, you should probably move on over to pop country for however long Donald Trump is in office. It's going to be a rough time for you listening to Americana.