Dec 16, 2017

Saturday Night Music: Spinal Tap "Christmas With the Devil"

From the Archives: Top 10 Most Depressing Christmas Songs

ORIGINALLY POSTED DEC 19, 2012


Top 10 Most Depressing Christmas Songs 2012


10. Butt-Chugging Eggnog

09. (There's No Place Like) Walmart for the Holidays

08. Hark the Tattooed Douchebags Sing

07. Christmas at the Romneys

06. It's the Most Communicable Time of the Year

05. Jodido Navidad

04. All I Got for Christmas is Prison Rape

03. Away in Benghazi

02. Colt Ford is Coming to Town

01. Sleigh Ride (Off the Fiscal Cliff)

Dec 15, 2017

Best Songs of '17 Spotlight: Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears "Sexual Tension"

WHO Paved the Way for Luke Bryan??


The Best Christmas Movie You've Never Seen: Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas

By Robert Dean

As the debate rages on over if Die Hard or Gremlins or Edward Scissorhands are Christmas movies, there’s one definite holiday film that’s gone under the radar far too long. A cinematic gem that is appropriately old school in its themes of love, morality, and having a damned good time, Emmet Otter’s Jug band Christmas is the best Christmas movie you’ve never seen.

Almost like a country-fried Wind in The Willows, Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas is an early Jim Henson production. Released in 1978 and loosely based on O. Henry’s The Gift of The Magi, Emmet and his mother live on the river performing a litany of odd jobs. Emmet mends fences or fixes stairs while Ma washes clothes for the town rich folks. She even barters to make pies and sell them. The defining element of Emmet and Ma’s relationship is their love of music. Music is everything to them.

Christmas is fast approaching, but because Emmet and Ma both scrape by, they don’t have any money for gifts. Emmet gets wind from his friends that the town hall is putting on a talent show. His friends broach the idea of starting a jug band. They ask Emmet to join, but he declines because he can’t live with the idea of putting a hole in his mother’s washtub.

Back at home, Ma too hears about the talent show and dreams of buying Emmet a guitar with the prize money. However, she needs a new outfit to sing in; the trouble is, she doesn’t have anything left to hock – except Emmet’s tools, which he inherited from his dead father.

A rambling pack of miscreants attacks a local music store. They smoke cigarettes and love rock and roll. They’re a pack of bad dudes. There’s even a fish.

The allure of the prize money is too much for Emmet and his mother. They each go behind one another’s backs in an effort to win the talent show. Emmet joins the jug band, and Ma gets her fabric, washtub and tool kit be damned. The Jug band is pretty good, and Ma is focused. They all arrive at the talent show, ready to do their best, only both acts lose because the rock and roll wild boys are now a band called The Nightmare and whip out some killer late 70’s hard rock. Does losing the talent show ruin Emmet’s Christmas? You’ll need to watch to find out.

Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas works because it’s almost like the anti-Christmas movie: the neighbors are all out on the grind, Emmet and Ma have the death of Pa hanging over everything, as they continually bring it up, and the songs are weird but awesome. They even sing about BBQ. The Otter family does get screwed over by some local towns ladies, which doesn’t ruin their days, but indeed sucks.


 What’s cool about this movie is that Emmet Otter pre-dates a lot of the tropes found in the later Muppets. The story has darker threads and doesn’t rely on sight gags or inside jokes from the Muppet world; The tale keeps Emmet Otter going, not a cameo from Gonzo.

Unlike The Christmas Toy, which is an easily beloved Christmas classic, Emmet Otter and his furry friends live by their wits and sometimes, by their whiskers.

If you’re looking for a new Christmas flick that’s worth watching, give ol’ Emmet a spin. It’s got everything you could ever need in a Christmas movie: fuzzy little otters secretly making terrible life choices, a bullfrog mayor and a hole in the washtub.  This cult classic has heart. The songs are catchy as hell and let’s be honest; The Nightmare deserved to win the talent show, fair and square. 


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Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas is available on Amazon and iTunes


How the Repeal of Net Neutrality Could Change Farce the Music

Repealing internet neutrality is bad. It's not a Repub/Dem issue. It's an issue in which the FCC defied 80%+ of the population's desire to leave the internet as it was. While I hold out hope that things will be worked out, either through Congressional action, legal action, or just the consumer putting their foot down...

Here's how Farce the Music might have to serve you under the direst of circumstances.


Fax



Handbills on poles


Skywriting


Flyers on your windshield 



Trolling them at their concerts (this seems a bit extreme)


Sky banners

Dec 14, 2017

Best Songs of 2017 Spotlight: Chris Stapleton "Hard Livin'"

WWE Country Reaction Gifs 26

The pro wrestling equivalent of 
Bebe Rexha having the #1 Hot Country Song

I found some Cole Swindell songs on this refurbished 
laptop I bought. What should I do with them?

Hayes Carll, John Evans, and Corb Lund are 
putting out an album together in 2018 

"But evolution… you're just jealous… 
stop being so negative…"

"Why can't I listen to Dylan Scott's Christmas album?"

Still more interesting than a Lady Antebellum album:

What it feels like to hear Walker Hayes for the first time

Reading the YouTube comments under a Kane Brown video

Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition


Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition
Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition
Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition

If Cole Swindell ran outside naked in a snowstorm, he'd be invisible

Luke Bryan never hangs his stockings by the fireplace because 
he’d feel silly wearing his garter belt without them

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Brantley Gilbert realized he couldn’t count that high

Neal McCoy's "Take a Knee, My Ass (I Won't Take a Knee)" was originally about 
Game of Thrones' Jon Snow and was titled "Bend the Knee, My Arse (I Shan't Bend the Knee)"

If Sturgill Simpson doesn’t do a Farce The Music 
interview we will start a rumor he punched Santa

There is a 100% chance Kenny Chesney will be a fan 
of this year's college football playoff champion

The previous fact will be recycled annually for eternity 

Justin Moore has lost 75% of his fame since Trailer stopped photoshopping him 
on shelves around Christmas  (Editor's note: or Scotty McCreery, whichever)

Sturgill Simpson recently punched Santa at a mall. More details to come. 

All pictures of Shooter Jennings on a shelf are not Photoshopped 

Gary Levox’s New Year’s resolution is to be less awkward in photos

The 2017 Time Magazine Person of the Year is every woman 
that has ever recorded ‘Baby it’s Cold Outside’

David Lee Murphy has a song on the country chart. No really, I’m serious about that one.

Asking for more women on country radio and getting Bebe Rexha is like 
asking for a Washington outsider to be president and getting... never mind 

Every time "Humble and Kind" plays on the radio, Spade Cooley rolls in his grave

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All but 3 of these by Jeremy Harris

Dec 13, 2017

Best Songs of 2017 Spotlight: Sunny Sweeney "Bottle By My Bed"

Farce the Music is Educational


Willie Nelson Christmas Memes



Op Ed: Nothing Beats Giving a Concert Your Undivided Attention …on Your Phone After the Concert

by Trent Marks

I just love a good concert!  There's nothing like lending your support to a hard working band out there displaying their talents and working their asses off for you. They drive from town to town in a beat up old van. Some of them set up their own stage gear. They put out the songs you listen to all the time …so the least you can do is toss $15-50 in their direction.

There's also nothing like experiencing that concert and giving it your full attention. I like to grab a post-show Miller Lite and a cigar and plop down in the leather recliner and do just that after the concert! There in the silence and smoke, I can hear and see the show so well thanks to my new Samsung Galaxy S8. 

I mean, during the show, I'm too busy chatting with my buddies and hollering and drinking Miller Lite to actually watch the show, so it's good to have my Samsung Galaxy S8 there recording the entire thing for me. With its 4k video recording and VDIS stabilization, the picture stays crisp and clear and the sound is awesome too. 

It's amazing how easy it is to have a great time at the show while one arm is busy high in the air taking in all the sights for you. It's no problem debating about the Cowboys game or keeping up to date on all those friends you don't get to see as often now that everyone's grown up and working. You've got plenty of time to point out hot girls to your friends. With the 8x zoom, I can grab a beer from the bar without missing a lick. 

Sometimes I'll move up toward the stage to get an even better picture. I just stand there with my phone in the air, talking loudly with my bros, and having a great time. I'm 6'5" so I can even get shots of the drummer up close or catch the steel guitar player picking his nose. Man, concerts rule!

And to think, I still have the concert to watch in its 2 hour entirety when I'm winding down later. What more could a true music fan ask for? 

Dec 12, 2017

Best Songs of 2017 Spotlight: Turnpike Troubadours "Pay No Rent"

Reginald Spears on Turnpike Troubadours, Sam Hunt




Shut Up Walker


I'm Sorry, This Exists: Christmas 2017 Edition

Pondering what to buy your worst enemy, your mother-in-law, your boss this holiday season? Well, maybe this helpful list will include just the thing. These are all real products (and one painting).
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Who wouldn't want this cheap looking,
unauthorized Keith Urban product on their Douglas fir?




Walker Hayes "Good Shit" shades
That's very mature, dad.


So you'll know who to avoid at the office Christmas party.


Redneck Crazy truck hitch cover
for when you're parked on your ex's lawn
about to be arrested and served with a restraining order


Thomas Rhett sticker.
Gross, and I bet his wife wouldn't like that.


This plays on the stereotype of Asian massage parlors offering up
uh... happy endings. Way to be woke, OD.


which is advertised using Blake Shelton's image but
actually is just a Sexiest Man Alive t-shirt.


I bet the profit margin on these is ridiculous.


"It's 5 O'clock Somewhere" Novelty Panties


This painting of Garth Brooks looking at a boob.





This actually exists in the year of our Lord 2017. 







Dec 11, 2017

New Video: Mike & The Moonpies w/John Baumann "Country Music's Dead"

Album Review: Drew Womack - Here’s Some Stuff I Wrote

by Jamie Berryhill

There’s no two ways about it. Drew Womack possesses one of the most amazing voices in the history of well...history! Pair that with world class songwriting and you get Here’s Some Stuff I Wrote, the latest effort from the Brownwood, Texas born troubadour. 

If Drew’s voice sounds familiar and you just can’t place it, let me help you.
He fronted Sons of The Desert in the 90’s, churning out hits like "Whatever Comes First" and "Leaving October Behind." He can also be heard prominently on Leann Womack’s cut of "I Hope You Dance."

Equally impressive is that Drew played all of the instruments on this album. There are several co-writes on the record as well, from the likes of legends like Radney Foster and Rodney Crowell.


Overall, Here’s Some Stuff I Wrote is a forty three minute showcase of genius. Excellent vocals, writing, instrumentation, and production. The hard copy will make a great stocking stuffer for the music lover in your life this Christmas, or you can download it on iTunes here: 

Monday Morning Memes: Blake Shelton, Christmas, Willie, etc.




Dec 9, 2017

Saturday Night Music: Foo Fighters Pay Tribute to Malcolm Young

From the Archives: Star Wars/Country Music Doppelgangers

ORIGINALLY POSTED DEC 17, 2015

Star Wars/Country Music Doppelgängers 2

The Force Awakens starts today! In honor, here are some
(occasionally reaching) Star Wars character/Country singer doppelgängers.

Darius Rucker (R&B phase) and Mace Windu

Don Williams and Obi Wan Kenobi

Chris Stapleton and Chewbacca (sorry Chris!)

Willie Nelson and Qui Gon Jinn

Colt Ford and Jek Porkins (hey, don't blame me... that's his name)

Kenny Chesney and Bib Fortuna

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