Showing posts with label Americana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Americana. Show all posts
Oct 2, 2018
Americana Man: A Satire Lyric
Americana Man
(©2018 Farce the Music satire)
My patchy beard is finally filling in
Gained a couple pounds, need another ten
Gotta be chubby not quite fat
Buy myself a pork pie hat
Pretty soon it won't look like I'm playing pretend
Sold the F-150 that daddy bought
Quit the mailroom job that mama got
Grabbed a guitar, learned some chords
Wrote a song about the Lord
And twenty more about prisons, farms, and pot
Americana man
Honest and real as you can stand
Ain't got a story but I got a plan
to be
an Americana man
My uncle's cousin knows a producer dude
Produced a few roots rock who's who's
Just need a few more flannel shirts
I'll be so damn real it hurts
Even though I'd rather be Kane Brown or Luke
Americana man
Honest and real as you can stand
No backstory but I got a plan
to be
an Americana man
Bridge
Hire a fiddle
Hire a steel man
Gonna be lit
Hit you in the feels man
Americana man
Honest and real as you can stand
No backstory but I got a plan
to be
an Americana man
Aug 10, 2018
Americana Festival Smells Like Wet Dog
Some attendees of the Pale Skies Americana Festival in Whitesburg, TN have complained of a strong odor in the air. There are no reports of any sort of leaks in the area, and the EPA has given an all-clear on the air quality, yet the foulness persists.
The smell has been described as that of a wet dog, or hot dog water. Most festival goers seem oblivious to it, but 10-20 attendees and several vendors have sought attention in the medical tent for respiratory issues.
Jalen Johnson of Nashville described the smell as "mayonnaise mixed with moldy oatmeal." "I'm pretty used to it - I go to Belmont and it smells like that all the time." said Johnson, "Only thing I don't like here is the food choices - it's all unseasoned chicken and mashed potatoes and Greek yogurt. What is that?"
As Old Crow Medicine Show began their set on Thursday evening, several people were overcome by the fumes. Amidst a throng of Birkenstock clad fans clapping on 1s and 3s, one young woman passed out into a pile of Starbucks cups. Another man said he had to get oxygen after the combination of the smell of bologna and the constant chanting of "Wagon Wheel!" got him extremely light-headed.
Alecia Sykes of Knoxville had to go lay in her car when a cloud of vape smoke and the overwhelming reek of old cheese and tomato gravy left her with a raging migraine. "It sucks because I was having a great time with Kayleeigh, Baylyy, Lynnseigh, and Chad."
Jun 1, 2018
New Americana Band More Authentic Than That One You Like
Brand new Americana act Roustabouts in Bowties is taking the roots music revival to new levels with their upcoming debut album release and supporting tour. Bolstered by first single, the rustic fiddle ballad "Ye Art a Fine Lass," the 7-piece act will hit the road in July to promote their self-produced, self-released, self-designed, self-printed, self-promoted, self-packaged, self-shipped debut Claptrap Monkeyshines.
Recorded in an abandoned Alberta dogtrot, Claptrap Monkeyshines boasts 10 original songs and a cover of a song from a 1932 field recording of a nameless jug band. Penned by lead vocalist Bjorn Blacklung, the original tunes span the tempos from dirge-like to lullaby.
"We want to be the most authentic band to ever exist," smiled Blacklung, through a blue haze of corncob pipe smoke. "It isn't enough to never groom our beards, to farm the cotton that makes our hand-stitched extra stiff denim clothes, spend 3 years learning to duplicate records at home, and take our inner sleeve photos with a vintage tin-type, we must live the life."
Leaving their Montana wilderness shack collective for the first time in ages to tour "the great expanse" as they call it, the Roustabouts will play 36 cities over the next 3 years (they're going on horseback). Lead musical saw player Mose Dustworth tells us he most looks forward to taking a break from splitting wood and watching for grizzly bears for a nice long spell.
While the Roustabouts' aesthetic is bucolic, the actual release will come in multiple formats, including high fidelity wav files, phonograph cylinders, and cassette tapes dubbed on their own 1989 RCA home stereo. It will also be available on 380g sawdust tan vinyl that doubles as a frisbee for disc golf. The band cautions that when using the record in disc golf competition, that all other players be out of the line of fire. The band is not responsible for injuries or deaths caused by thrown copies of Claptrap Monkeyshines.
May 21, 2018
Feb 14, 2018
WWE Country Reaction Gifs 27: Braun Strowman Edition
When the country concert has a DJ
♬ Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and marks ♬
Trying to figure out how
Sam Hunt is country
When you tell her you got Isbell tickets
Instead of saving mainstream country,
maybe we should just...
Probably symbolic of country radio... somehow
You should never heckle the band,
but especially not tonight...
Jan 11, 2017
Feb 2, 2016
Nov 18, 2014
Apr 25, 2014
The Bro-mericana Song (Lyrical Satirical)
The Bro-mericana Song
©2014 FTM Satire
Drove my El Camino
Down past the silo
Pulled into the party spot
Cracked a Blue Ribbon
Lit up a Spirit
Asked if anyone had some pot
This is my bro-mericana song
Break out the banjos, break out the bongs
Groom your beard and sing along
This is the bro-mericana song
We talk politics
Crank up some Deer Tick
And take ourselves real serious
The girls are all tattooed
And I defy any dude
To mention one's gluteus
This is my bro-mericana song
Break out the guitars, get our folk on
Groom your beard and sing along
This is the bro-mericana song
Bridge
No flat brims, no jacked trucks
Just pearl snaps and Levi Strauss
Careful where you park your Prius
Nobody here can pull you out
This is my bro-mericana song
Break out the dobro, break out the bongs
Groom your beard and sing along
This is the bro-mericana song
Feb 21, 2014
Americana Band Name Generator
(don't click on this image - the link is below!)
If you've run out of creative spark after writing umpteen songs about drunken sorrow, the working man, and bucolic strife but need the perfect name for your new roots rock or alt-country band, you're in luck! Just click below to visit my new "Genericana Band Name Generator!" My apologies to the three or four existing bands whose names are possible on this generator.
Aug 20, 2013
Top Ten Less Successful Americana Bands
10. The Sex Offenders String Band
09. The Ghosts of Fartknocker Mountain
08. Beards in the Silo
07. Uncle Yoakam and Those Dapper Fellows
06. The Tattooed Rockabilly Roller-Derby Crack Whores
05. Big Barry and His Lumbago
04. Offal
03. Joe Biden and the Shotgun Boys
02. Mumford's Third Cousins, Twice Removed
01. Pantaloons Medicine Tent Revival
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