Farce the Music: Morgan Wallen

Showing posts with label Morgan Wallen. Show all posts

Dec 20, 2021

More Monday Memes: Sam Hunt, Walker Hayes, Morgan Wallen

Dec 15, 2021

Same Energy

What Your Favorite 2021 Album Says About You: Part 2

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Billy Strings - Renewal

“Dust in a Baggie” isn’t just a song; it’s your life story. You’re too bluegrass for Americana, too foulmouthed for bluegrass. You drive a van that’s too dirty to be confused for a creepy “free candy” van.

Morgan Wade - Reckless

You have used brass knuckles in a fight, regardless of your gender. You’re a 90s kid who doesn’t relate to those “You Know You’re a 90s Kid if…” Buzzfeed posts. You believe that genres aren’t important, but also think most pop country is sweltering garbage.

Dan + Shay - Good Things

You can’t even remember how to spell your own kids’ names. You drink so much wine, you’re on your way to a fatty liver despite weighing 110 pounds. You don’t like country, and don’t really care if people make fun of Dan + Shay for being soft pop, but you will curse a Starbucks manager in a heartbeat.

Jason Aldean - Macon

You think Morgan Wallen is just a Jason Aldean copycat with better hair. You have called Eric Church a cuck lib on Twitter. You wish you were young enough to pull off driving a truck with a Carolina squat. Your kids make fun of your tribal tattoo.

Morgan Wallen - Dangerous

You spent the money you were going to donate to Trump 2024 on Wallen tickets. You “have black friends.” You and your girlfriend drive trucks with a Carolina squat. You’d say your life motto is “Bad Ass Boys Drive Bad Ass Toys” but it’s actually “celebrating mediocrity.”

Carly Pearce - 29: Written in Stone

You’ve been through it, sister. Or brother. Or whoever.

Blake Shelton - Body Language

The only time you intentionally listen to any music whatsoever is when watching The Voice. Team Blake all the way! You’re suspicious and jealous of Gwen, but will tear anyone a new one if they besmirch her or Blake on Twitter. The police have a file on you, but you don’t have a record.

Parmalee - For You

You see members of Parmalee on holidays and at family reunions.

Dec 14, 2021

Same Guy, New Crowd

Predicting 2022 in Mainstream Country Music

By Bobby Peacock

• Russell Dickerson revealed to actually be a deepfake

• Bobby continues to be the only person on the entire Internet not to like Lainey Wilson

• Luke Combs hits #1 with "Beer,” which is just him singing the word "beer" over and over again for four minutes

• Walker Hayes gets his second #1 with a cover of the "Chili's Baby Back Ribs" jingle

• Niko Moon runs crying to his mom when his next single fails to chart at all; claims radio PDs called him a poopyhead

• In an unprecedented move, Lauren Alaina records a duet with herself

• Kelsea Ballerini and HARDY propose to record a duet; plans canceled when they can't agree on which letters in the title should be capitalized, if any

• Jordan Davis buys dirt; realizes he can't find the one he can't live without; sells dirt

• Jason Aldean, Toby Keith, John Rich, Travis Tritt, and Aaron Lewis record a collab called "Red Voters with Blue Balls (Let's Go Brandon)"; song's lyric video gets deleted from YouTube for hate speech

• Brantley Gilbert actually does release the worst country song of all time -- oh wait, he already did that with "Bottoms Up"

• All four members of Parmalee discovered working at the same Arby's in Nashville

• Man previously caught sporting public erection due to Turnpike reunion hospitalized for priapism

• Cole Swindell gets his first celeb endorsement: his own personal line of Miracle Whip

• In an even more unprecedented move, Morgan Wallen releases a cover of Western Flyer's "Cherokee Highway"

• Bobby makes another stupidly long"best of the decade" list largely composed of songs that neither Trailer nor any Farce the Music reader has ever heard before