Showing posts with label The Avett Brothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Avett Brothers. Show all posts

Jun 19, 2018

Top 10 Biggest Jerks in Folk Music


Some would imagine that the quaint, earnest folk music scene would not be as likely to contain divas and d-bags as the more mainstream genres of music. They'd be wrong. Here are some of the genre's most egregious offenders.

10. Joni Mitchell
Has said Counting Crows cover of "Big Yellow Taxi" is far better than her original.
Before retiring from touring, only played Rascal Flatts songs over the monitors before shows.

9. Hozier
Refuses to play "Take Me to Church" in concert.
Blocks anyone who complains about it on social media.

8. Tracy Chapman
Refuses to play "Fast Car" in concert. 
Only plays "Give Me One Reason" 'in the style of Post Malone.'

7. Bon Iver
Won't apologize for being the godfather of modern hipsterism.
Drives a jacked up Hummer with a Salt Life sticker on the back.

6. Wesley Schultz (The Lumineers)
Constantly rails on millennials despite being one.
Uber driver on the side; car smells like sweaty leather.
Makes fake business cards with different names but his phone number to drop in those "win free lunch" fishbowls.

5. Skyler Skjelset (Fleet Foxes)
Writes shitty pop-country under the pen name Chris DeStefano.
Listens to hick-hop albums loudly on the tour bus.
Slaps people with a fencing glove if they misspell his last name.

4. Damien Rice
Speaks in an unintelligibly thick Irish accent at meet and greets so fans will move along quickly.
Next album will be entirely dirge-style Neil Diamond covers.
Tour rider calls for only "mass-produced light American lagers" to piss off his band.

3. Emmylou Harris
Thought Gram Parsons was a "pretentious dickhead hack" but he paid well. 
Litters.
At shows, she has any fans wearing tennis shoes violently removed and humiliated.

2. Scott Avett (The Avett Brothers)
Wears sweat pants to strip clubs.
Drives with his brights on in fog.
Lays five dollars on the table at restaurants and takes one away for every slight error the server makes. 
Leaves his spit cup in the cup-holder at the movie theater. 

1. Father John Misty

Oh wait… this list is supposed to be satirical.





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*this is, of course, fake news*

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