Showing posts with label Ty Herndon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ty Herndon. Show all posts

Aug 2, 2019

The Top 10 Biggest Jerks in 90s Country

A Collaboration/Guest Submission by Jackson Burnett & Trailer
Some would imagine that the country music industry during the mainstream’s last agreeable era, the 1990s, wasn’t as likely to contain divas and D-bags as it does today. However, that isn’t the case. Here are the 10 biggest offenders…

10. Joe Diffie
Plans to reissue his entire catalog on 4-track cartridges.
Personal Facebook page appears hacked, but it’s actually him posting all those links to bootleg Ray-Bans.

9. Suzy Bogguss
Covers “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue” at the start of every show after 2006.
Drinks right from the 40 oz bottle of Olde English 800 and puts it back in the fridge.

8. Wade Hayes
Slashed Joe Diffie’s bus tires on a recent 90s country tour.
Sprinkles when he tinkles and isn’t neat enough to wipe the seat.

7. Patty Loveless
Final single was a dubstep remix of “Cleopatra, Queen of Denial.”
Hated touring Canada because “Canucks suck.”

6. Pam Tillis
Once said nice things about Locash… no, wait, that really happened.
Hides her master tapes under a dirty laundry pile that’s been sitting in her guest bathroom since 2005.

5. Ty Herndon
Leaves the sink running everywhere he goes.
Refuses to replace his official Angelfire website.
Sings exclusively in an “Ernie from Sesame Street” voice in concert.

4. Marty Raybon (Shenandoah, Raybon Brothers)
Spread a rumor that Diamond Rio were the country Milli Vanilli.
Just pours his tobacco spit cup out right by the door of the tour bus.
Stops in roundabouts.

3. Terri Clark
Once put Pam Tillis in a triangle choke submission for sneezing in her presence.
When on tour, has a tradition of taking selfies of her peeing on national landmarks.
Calls her dogs “puppers” and doggos.”

2. Trisha Yearwood
Once told an audience to “go f*** yourselves” for not singing along to her cover of “Bump & Grind."
Responds to fan mail by sending nude Garth pics.
Against legalization, but always on that kush.

1. Jim Lauderdale
Abuses Domino’s carryout insurance policy.
Ghost-wrote 88% of all bro-country songs.
Constantly on Tik Tok during meals with his bandmates. 
Wants to tour with Old Dominion.

*satire, obviously*

Feb 21, 2013

Little Known Facts: Feb. '13


Re-entry to a Brantley Gilbert concert is only allowed if you've had your lower back stamped.

When traveling to Scotty McCreery's house you must travel over a bridge, 
but only after correctly answering Scotty's riddle.

Joe Diffie has spent all of his career earnings attempting to build a time machine 
to prevent himself from starting the truck song craze.

Your mom likes that one Luke Bryan song.

The band Fifth On The Floor was first discovered when Shooter Jennings 
climbed a bean stalk that led to the home of lead singer Justin Wells.

If golf celebrated mediocrity as much as country radio, Colt Ford would still be a golfer.

Everything on Justin Moore's tourbus is miniaturized for his ease of use.

eBay item #170992608018 is for the rights to roll Willie Nelson up and smoke him when he dies.

Jason Aldean DOES NOT have herpes. Word on the street however is that he has a few sores 
that pop up once a month on his genitalia but he DOES NOT have herpes.

Long brown hooded robes and torches are required work apparel at 
Big Machine Records except on Satanic Fridays.

1990's country star Ty Herndon now lives in a monastery in the Swiss Alps.

*Most of this, including the shot of Justin Wells and Shooter Jennings, by Jeremy Harris.


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