Showing posts with label Alice in Chains. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alice in Chains. Show all posts

Aug 16, 2013

Hair Metal Country Bands? Grunge-try?

By Jeremy Harris

At some point modern country radio will either nose-dive into the ground …or pull up and straighten things out. I'm tired of fighting for it to get better so I've decided to help it drop like a rock by coming up with ten "Next big things" that should do the work. Surely recycling some bands from the past and country-izing them will do the trick and hopefully after reaching rock bottom radio will turn to real artists to bring back the fans who actually aren't stupid enough to love these ten re-envisioned bands. And just to be clear, if any record executives would like to steal my idea you owe me nothing. Hell, don't even mention my name.

A Fallout Boy Named Sue
Johnny Cash is very popular with the kids these days. Hot Topic sells his shirts like there's no tomorrow and I'm sure Fall Out Boy could use the cash at this point. There's also a lot of crossover for folks who wear black. 

Slaughter Jennings
The last show featured on CMT that had even a hint of true country music left was The Dukes of Hazard. Success of this act is entirely banking on the hopes of a few modern country fans knowing who sang that catchy opening theme and Slaughter having enough living members to record an album.

Backroad Boys
Ah, the 90's. Boy bands were all the rage. Why not bring that back with the Backstreet Boys but fake countrified up to the tenth degree. What mindless numbskull wouldn't love this? They can say country is where their hearts have always been. They could wear matching Realtree outfits!

Hick Yeah!
While heavy metal supergroup Hellyeah have had plenty of success around the world, nothing could prepare them for how much idiots love the word "hick" and any band with any unnecessary punctuation in their name. Now just imagine if the exclamation point was upside down. (Editor's note: I have no idea what that last sentence means, but I left it in there so you know what we're dealing with when Jeremy Harris writes a feature.)

Scorpions Bed Liners
Scorpions already has cheesy lyrics about making love so why not add a fiddle to the sound and a truck product to the band name and sell a million copies.

Alice In Tire-chains
This is a no-brainer. Why not let Layne Staley join the list of dead musicians rolling in their graves. With enough work, Washington could be the new Georgia. Who could be the Dallas Davidson of grunge-try?

Buck Slayer
It seems all modern country listeners either hunt or like to pretend they do so let's capitalize on this by unplugging Slayer and giving them all the camouflage a country boy would ever want. Also, stickers of this logo would sell like $2 meth to Brantley Gilbert fans.

Kris Kross Kristofferson
Yeah I know, one of the members of Kris Kross is dead. I don't remember which one and you probably don't either. What we all remember is how catchy that "Jump" song was. We also know that vampire movies are very popular with young Americans so let's incorporate that old dude from Blade in this one.

 Jackson 4X4
Michael Jackson dying may be the greatest thing to ever happen to modern country music. The Jackson 5 were giant hit makers back in the day so now just imagine locking "Rockin Robin" into four low.

Kiss (My Country A$$)
Gene Simmons has made millions selling worthless crap to fans for years but at some point he and his painted associates will run out of money. This is the prime time to introduce some new fans to a marketing genius. Plus their lyrics weren't that deep to begin with so let's just add a boat to "Christine Sixteen".

Apr 16, 2012

Sounds Painful

by Kelcy Salisbury

After a few poorly written meanderings on the relative merits of various recently released albums, I felt like it was a good time to take a step back and provide a poorly written, rambling review of a couple of albums that were formative in my musical journey.  So without further ado here is the first of however many of these Trailer will let me write.

In the early to mid 1990's alternative music was exploding worldwide.  Of course the Seattle scene was huge with bands like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and Alice In Chains making music that seismically altered the landscape of rock radio.  Austin, TX, long a hotbed for the "weird" was also playing a major role in the alternative rock scene, along with such locations as San Francisco and New York.  Along about 1994 someone (I'm not sure who and am a bit too lazy to do the research to find out) had the brilliant idea to combine some of the brightest lights of the alternative rock scene with a handful of Willie Nelson tunes for a project that would become Twisted Willie.  This album was a seminal point in my discovery of music.  I discovered The Presidents Of The United States and the Supersuckers through this album, along with rediscovering just how cool Willie's music was and heard what I believe to be the beginning of the third act of Johnny Cash's career.  It's not a perfect album, every song doesn't work, but the overall product is well worth hearing (or rediscovering if you haven't heard it in a while.)

The album opens with Johnny Cash (backed by Alice in Chains in one of their last recordings before Layne Stayley's death) covering Time of the Preacher.  The song gives a glance at what Cash would later create with Rick Rubin. Another highlight is Jerry Cantrell's haunting solo performance of I've Seen All Of This World I Care To See. Supersuckers' cover of Bloody Mary Morning is another great entry on the album.  This song seems to have been written for a more punk styled interpretation, and that's exactly what it gets.

Jello Biafra covers Still Is Still Moving To Me, and knocks it out of the park.

My personal favorite on the album is The Presidents Of The United States hyper, desperate sounding cover of Devil In A Sleeping Bag.  To this day I often find myself playing this cut on repeat.

Jesse Dayton absolutely kills Sad Songs And Waltzes, before Waylon adds his inimitable stylings  to I Never Cared For You.

The album closes with a haunting version of Angel Flying Too Close To The Ground by Kelly Deal.

While there are some tracks that don't hold up to the overall standard, particularly X on Home Motel, overall it's an older album well worth a listen that has held up well over the nearly 20 years since it's release and is well worth the purchase price on iTunes.  So give it a listen whether you're a fan of old school alt-rock or Willie Nelson.  If nothing else it proves what an incredibly strong song writer Willie Nelson is, a fact that occasionally gets lost in Beer For My Horses type dreck.

Purchase Twisted Willie here or here.

Oct 13, 2011

A Sh*tload of Alternative/Indie Parody Album Covers

I am a very unorganized person. Thus, I can't remember what Photoshopped covers I have and haven't posted before (except in the country genre, for which I run the series of monthly "Country Day" posts about). Therefore, I'm going to post ALL of the covers left in my Alternative/Indie Rock file folder. Some of these are repeats but there are quite a few you haven't seen before. Regardless, it will give me a clean slate in the particular genre(s). Enjoy. (?)


Related Posts with Thumbnails