Never Forget

Monday Morning Memes: The Walking Dead, FGL, Shania

Say What Now, Tim McGraw?

Honest Radio Promo Ad: Chris Janson - Buy Me a Boat

Easy Money in Nashville

RIP James Best

Honest LoCash Cowboys Radio Promo Ad

Truck Yeah - Parody Lyric

Sucks Yeah

Got Lil' Wayne in here with a name drop

Stumpin' for the white kids who only like hip-hop

Rich guy actin' like a pop-star

When Borchetta's got your back, the shame don't stop

SEC football, Chevys for long hauls, What else can we sell, y'all?

If you follow the crowd and you've never pulled plows

Then you're the folks I'm singing about

You don't care if this sucks, yeah

As long as I say "truck" yeah

Let's throw our hands up yeah

And if you're all dumb enough, I'll have a smash with a song that sucks yeah

I got money out the butt, yeah

But I don't give a what, yeah

Cause I'll make another million off this song that's so crappy

It sucks, yeah

I party in a club that you could never get in

Made more money than you could spend

But you don't care, do you?

I could holler "screw you!"

As long as this sounds cool, no doubt

Got a mid-life crisis, but DJ's play this

Cause I've been around so long

If you like it real fake, make that donkadonk shake

Long as I get paid, I'm happy to say

You don't care if this sucks, yeah

As long as I say "truck" yeah

Let's throw our hands up yeah

And if you're all dumb enough, I'll have a smash with a song that sucks yeah

I got money out the butt, yeah

But I don't give a what, yeah

Cause I'll make another million off this song that's so crappy

It sucks, yeah

I live in LA, drive a car

I don't go to smoky bars

You don't really mind, as you drink your Bud

Crank this in your pickup in the mud

It's ridiculous

You don't care if this sucks, yeah

As long as I say "truck" yeah

Let's throw our hands up yeah

And if you're all dumb enough, I'll have a smash with a song that sucks yeah

I got money out the butt, yeah

Reach down and grab your nuts, yeah

Cause I'll make another million off this song that's so crappy

My fans are vapid

This sucks, yeah

-----

Truck No

Country TwitterFAIL: Sept. '12

 

Lyrical Satirical: Jesus in My Truck

Jesus in My Truck

©2012 FTM Lyrics

If Jesus showed up at my house

And wanted to go ridin' round

I'd tell him hop on in

My Chevy with the big ol' tires

Man, it couldn't ride much higher

I'd play some Cash for Him

Chorus

And we'd roll with the windows down

Them gravel roads outside of town

Then throw a line and catch some bream

And He could feed all of my friends

And turn water to Miller Lite

Nobody'd be in the mood to fight

And my pickup would never get stuck

With Jesus in my truck

I'd introduce Him to my girl

Thank Him for cut off jeans and squirrels

And Skoal and camoflauge

We'd watch the Ole Miss Rebels play

And maybe once they'd win a game

Then we'd go haul some logs

And we'd roll with the windows down

Them red dirt roads outside of town

Then throw a line and catch some bream

And He could feed all of my friends

And turn water to Miller Lite

Nobody'd be in the mood to fight

And my pickup would never get stuck

With Jesus in my truck

Bridge

He wouldn't pick no city boy

No hipster with no Prius car

Cause Jesus likes to keep it real

In a full-size with a chrome roll bar

And we'd roll with the windows down

Them gravel roads outside of town

Then throw a line and catch some bream

And He could feed all of my friends

Then we'd go out and meet my folks

Maybe He'd bring back my ol' dog, Smoke

Man I tell you it wouldn't suck

Truck no, it would never get stuck

With Jesus in my truck

Monday Morning Memes: Hank, Tim McGraw, Merle

Country Bumper Stickers: Aug '12

Truck No: The T-Shirt

That's www.truck-no.com

And no, I'm not selling those. Wish I'd come up with 'em though!

#TRUCKYEAH Meme

Batman FTW

Monday Morning Memes: Darius Rucker, Tim McGraw and Hat Acts

3 Up 3 Down: July 2012

3 Up


Zac Brown Band - The Wind
Unfortunately, it seems the band led off this new album's single era with the best song of the bunch. That doesn't do anything to blunt the impact of this thoroughly enjoyable, heart-racing bluegrass pop-country tune. Probably one of the best commercial country songs of the year.
A


Lee Brice - Hard to Love
I've read people comparing this to a couple of Tom Petty songs, but I don't really hear it. What I hear is an undeniably catchy, honest-sounding modern country song that veers a little too close to adult contemporary at times, but still stands above the fray. It's well-written, decently performed and thankfully free of trucks, cutoffs and beer.
B


Jerrod Niemann - Shinin' On Me
This is hardly, barely a country song, but it just sounds so damn cool. Niemann's laid-back delivery, left-of-center instrumentation and the crisply askew production makes this winner of a summer song, avoiding nearly all the cliches so common to this season on commercial country radio. Is it the best written song ever? Of 2012? Of this month? Probably no to all of those, but it's darn sure a treat for the ears.
B+

3 Down


Little Big Town - Pontoon
I hope that's out of their system now. This is a talented band. I'm not sure why they took the easy route to.. oh wait, yeah I do: $$$. These guys have great voices and up to this point have released pretty decent singles. This dunderhead song broke that streak. It's a lockstep summer anthem with nary an original thought and a goofy "motorboatin'" hook to hook the teens and pervs. Not really anything redeeming about this song. Do better, LBT.
D-


Tim McGraw - Truck Yeah
What else can be said, really? I could copy and paste all the synonyms for "feces," but I already did that the time Bucky Covington covered Nickelback. Can you believe this is actually worse than that? It's improbable but true. Also, if Tim continues in this direction, he will easily overtake Luke Bryan and Brantley Gilbert on FTM's shit-list within months. For the love of all things decent and good, Tim, stop this. You're embarrassing yourself.
F-


Blake Shelton - Over
It's not that this is such a horrible song, but it's a mediocre potboiler right at the time Shelton should be delivering massive hits to cement his place as an A-Lister (please shape up Blake! I'd rather have you as an A-Lister than Luke Bryan!). It's a position-holder to keep his brand on the charts and his name in listeners' ears. Blake is at the apex of his fame - shouldn't he use this position to cut and record the best Nashville songwriters have to offer? This is fluff that nobody will remember in… yep, already gone. I honestly can't make this song play in my head even after listening to it for review. It's that forgettable.
C-

Lyrics Illustrated: Truck Yeah!

Country TwitterFAIL: July 2012