Country Day June '10

Top 10 Worst Voices in Contemporary Music

Click links for samples.

10. Ke$ha

Honestly, her voice doesn't bother me that much, but I see where the hate comes from. Ke$ha (if that really is her name) sounds like a combination of drunken valley girl, fake b-girl and Paris Hilton. Not exactly a combo that many people are clamoring for. Don't worry haters, she won't be around long. 11:02, 11:03... tick tock tik tok

9. Uncle Kracker

UK has a tolerable enough everyman voice that really doesn't offend (he's even passable live), but uh, so do a lot of other people who don't actually put their voices onto albums to sell to music fans. He started out as Kid Rock's DJ. Does that last sentence even need a snarky comment?

8. Rihanna

I actually enjoy a lot of Rihanna's songs, but I've got to admit she has a pretty un-dynamic voice. If country music is three chords and the truth, Rihanna's sound is one note and the truth. I'd rather run out into the rain than hear "Umbrella" again. Eay! Eay!

7. Shooter Jennings

Shooter is a genetic marvel, in my opinion. His dad was handsome and had the booming voice of a honky-tonk god. His mom was beautiful and had/has a lovely voice. Shooter is as ugly as a wet rat chewing on a hornet and only twice as talented vocally.

6. Taylor Swift

What more can I say? And why would I have to? She's not that bad, but when you're at the head of the class commercially, is it too much to expect for you to sing above a loud whisper and carry a tune? I will say that I'm almost annoyed enough by the awards shows' recent self-correction in regards to lauding of her work (hey, you guys hitched your wagon to her; you look like hypocrites for shunning her now!) to leave her off this list, but nah. Facts are facts.

5. Gary Levox (of Rascal Flatts)

Gary "The Voice" (to new readers, that really is what his stage name means) might sound "okay" on wax, but his nasal shriek is pretty grating on the ears live. His high notes sometimes call to mind times I accidentally stepped on my cat's foot. That debacle with Jamie Foxx was unforgivable for someone who didn't have much goodwill built up in the first place.

4. Ashlee Simpson

One only need reference the Orange Bowl catastrophe or her disastrous SNL appearance for proof that Ash is the less talented Simpson (and that's saying something). What's even more difficult to believe is that she may have married down artistically.

3. Lil Wayne

This one's kinda a cop-out because, granted, he doesn't make his Benjamins as a singer, but when you put yourself out there as a singer, as Wayne frequently does live and did on his recent utter flop, Rebirth, you gotta expect to get shredded. His rapping voice isn't exactly a thing of beauty so what convinced him to warble is beyond me... oh wait, I know.

2. Bright Eyes/Conor Oberst

Conor Oberst is adored by tens and tens of fans, a veritable cult of douchenality, but I don't get the appeal. He sounds like a goat stuck in a box fan. His tunes are yawn inducing, so he doesn't even get the Bob Dylan pass. He just sucks.

1. "Dixie" Dave Collins (of Weedeater)

You've never heard him before unless you're a stoner (I've only heard him because, like, I've been exploring stoner metal lately ...uh, seriously dude) but Dave's voice is more shredded than anyone else's who's ever vocalized into a studio microphone. He sounds as though he's ingested copious amounts of weed (obviously), whiskey, meth, hot gravel, sand, glass shards, burning cigarettes, metal filings and sawdust. To say he sounds as pleasant as the band's namesake would be an overstatement. Besides, a weedeater can hold a note. Luckily, his fans don't care.

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #38

Here's a new question from the email sack. Heh heh, I said sack.

Skip in North Carolina wants to know: "Should I put some research time in before and during writing songs involving politics or history?"

JR: Hell no, Skippy. What you learned in vocational school ought to be plenty 'nough knowledge for you to drop on the country listener. If I wanna write something about Rick Nixon, I don't bother studying up on Watercase... who gives a shit? Jane Countryfan just wants to nod her head to a mid to up-tempo catchy tune and have her preferably conservative beliefs supported bro, not think. You want to do a song about the current economic crisis or the BP leak? Just write it, throw in something about a bastard stocktraderman...or a dirty stinkin' petroleum-man; don't waste valuable drinking time with fact finding and that sort of stuff. Just Wiki it if you must. Write on homie.

*Not actually written by John Rich.

Fun With Charts & Graphs: Kenny & Dolly

Drew Kennedy Says People are Idiots For Not Getting the Josh Grider Trio

Drew Kennedy Says People are Idiots For Not Getting the Josh Grider Trio

(co-signed by Matt Skinner)
Subtitle: Trailer Gherms at "Pickin' in the Pasture"

Saturday night I lived the life of a rockstar blogger. Hung out with some of my favorite singers. Took pictures from right beside the stage as they performed. Bought Drew Kennedy a Flying Dog. Tried one of Austin Collins' hand rolled cigs (tobacco!). Ate fine barbecue after standing in line chatting with Josh Grider and bassist Chris Grady. Sipped cold ones long into the breezy southern night.

A picturesque lakeside pavilion was the setting for "Pickin' in the Pasture," an annual event held in rural Madison County, Mississippi. It was a family event with probably a couple hundred folks in attendance, enjoying pulled pork with all the fixings and fellowship with friends. Kids played, dogs roamed and beer poured (politely).

Any other get-together of this sort across the south would feature whatever C-list mainstream country singer the host family had ties to. There'd be piped in radio country over the speakers, before and after the concert. Somebody would probably be funneling Miller Light in the parking lot. Drool would pour from the corners of attendees mouths.

Nah, not here. This was some throwback bizarro world with good taste.

There was a pre-supper feature of the host family's kids/grandkids playing fiddle with mandolin accompaniment (well I might add) then singing a pretty rendition of "Angel Band." It was an unexpected and sweet way to start the night. If I didn't have the photographic evidence, I might not believe it actually happened. What was this, 1953?

As this was finishing up, I finally met Dean Drew Kennedy in person for the first time. Nice guy. He said that he, Austin Collins and Matt Skinner were going on first and that we'd hang out afterwards.

Next was prayer and line-up for some delectable barbecue prepared by Fireman John's competition cooking team. Mmmm. Spoke to Josh

Grider and his bassist, Chris Grady, while waiting in line. Nice guys. My first impression of all the singers this night was "damn they're tall." I don't think one of them is a hair under 6'2".

The trio Drew mentioned earlier took the stage first. They traded off songs like Drew's "Rolling Around in the Bed," Matt Skinner's "If I Were a Painting" and Austin's "Conventional Lust" and his kickass cover of Whiskeytown's "16 Days," helping out with guitar parts and harmonies on one another's songs. I wasn't familiar with Matt Skinner's work before the event, but his songs easily held their own, and his guitar playing shined. It was a revelation, to be honest. I've rarely heard

anybody shred on an acoustic, but Matt did. I made sure to pick up one of his CD's after the show - an EP from his band with Dub Miller called Eleven Bones. It rocks, by the way.

I'll preface this next rant/review by saying I think all the guys I just mentioned should be much more well-known than they are. Matt's guitar playing and grit should have him being the toast of dancehalls across Texas and the southwest and aiming for national recognition. Drew's unique, soulful voice ought to have college girls swooning and critics acclaiming his original sound across the nation (his songwriting should land him some Nashville cuts as well). Austin's darker, more rocking alt-country sound has him well on his way, but the fact that his current output is better than anything Ryan Adams or Jay Farrar has put out in years should have him showing up on a broader radar.

All that said, the biggest surprise of the night was the Josh Grider Trio. I've got Josh's Sweet Road to Ride and Million Miles to Go albums and I've enjoyed them a lot, but whoa... to say they sound better live than on record is like saying the Titanic (never mind its final port of call) was more impressive in person than on design schematics. Why isn't the Josh Grider Trio huge??

Instrumentally, they were tight as my granddad's wallet (by that I mean working well together - not overly rehearsed sounding) and their harmonies were otherworldly. The songs are as catchy as anything coming out of Nashville (but twice as smart) or Texas (but with less Texas references). Josh, friendly, humble and down to earth in person, is a magnetic frontman on stage. Throw in a little Jason Eady, a little Dave Matthews, a little Roger Miller, a little Merle and some of that indescribable "it" factor and you've got Josh Grider.

If he comes off a touch flat in the studio, he's as animated and fiery as you could possibly hope for when the bright lights are on. Maybe that's one of the issues that's held them back so far. The production of his albums (the two I've heard) is not bad by any means, but maybe a little sterile. A bit more of an "off the cuff" raw feel could possibly benefit future cuts. I'm no production expert (hell, I'm not even a novice) by any means, so take that with a grain of salt.

Drew Kennedy says people are idiots (for not getting JG3) and Matt Skinner's got his back on that. So, is the JG3's writing too smart for wide commercial appeal? Possibly, but i don't see where that's a huge issue when the songs are this lively and enthralling, whether you're listening intently or using them as background music. You can think or you can shut off your brain, JG3's good for either.
(Seriously, I think they're accessible enough that they could sell out ...a la Pat Green fairly easily, but I hope they never do)

A lot of their songs are danceable too. No offense to my buds in the opening trio, but it was mostly dogs on the dance floor before Josh and his brethren took the stage, but songs like "Crazy Like You" and "Sometimes" had the couples and kids out in force.

It's not for lack of trying that they haven't hit it big. Each of the other performers mentioned what hard workers the JG3 are.

Maybe it's lack of promotion. I know for most up and coming bands, touring IS their promotion. There's no ad budget, no viral campaign, no fan club. It's just them and their instruments, their songs and a dream. To that end, the Josh Grider Trio did a helluva good job promoting themselves Saturday night. They could have mailed it in for a crowd of less than 300, but they played like they were in front of 5,000. Thanks guys.

They left the stage to as much applause as you can squeeze out of a small crowd. The music didn't end there by any stretch of the imagination.

After the bulk of the audience had headed home, a core group of friends and family (and one blogger) moved to the front and the guys once again took up their guitars and drums. They performed deep, deep, deeeeeeep into the night (I left at 3:15 and Matt & Josh were still going!), tossing off covers ("Stay All Night (Stay a Little Longer)," Son Volt's "Windfall," a host of Roger Miller songs, Waylon's "Wurlitzer Prize" and others) and a few of their originals (Drew finally got around to playing my fave, "Cincinnati") and lots of jokes and tomfoolery. Josh's drummer, Jeff Botter, was the class clown of the evening, sipping bourbon, making up songs on the fly and dancing with audience members.

All had a grand time. I left with a few new memories and a few new friends. And a lot more questions about why America can have steak for supper at the same price, but would prefer a Whopper.

I hope you'll take the time to check out all of these guys (links above), because, to the man, they're all truly talented and truly good folks who love what they do.

If all musicians and songwriters cared even half as much, there'd be no need for Farce the Music. Thankfully, but unfortunately for all our ears, that's not the case.

*Thanks to A.M. for some of the photographs!

3 Very Random Parody Album Covers

Relative Size Chart #20

Click for a closer view.

Drew Kennedy live and in-person

Here's my very first YouTube video filmed by me. I saw (and met!) Drew Kennedy, Austin Collins, Matt Skinner and the Josh Grider Trio last night and took this early in the evening. The quality's not great, but not bad at all for a basic digital camera. I hope to have a write-up about the show and some thoughts that came out of it soon, but for now here's Drew Kennedy with "Amarillo Highway."

YouTube Gems: Truth and Salvage Co.

Loving this band! Hating that I missed them at Riverfest!

YouTube Gems: Austin Collins

From one of my favorite albums of the year so far, Wrong Control, here's Austin Collins (who I'm hoping to see this weekend along with Drew Kennedy and Josh Grider) with "Island."

Songs Illustrated #20

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #37

Everybody has a different standard for how and when they write. Some people say you should set aside a time to write every day, no matter what. Some people say you should only write when the inspiration strikes you. As you might expect, I do neither. To tell you the truth, half the time I don't remember even writing a song. I just kinda wake up and find it written down or recorded for me like some little f*ckin' fairies (the winged kind, not the switch hittin' kind) came in and did it for me. Once after a 4 day bender that involved at least 2 call girls and 3 cases of boxed wine, I came to and discovered a kickass song already on tape - with me friggin' singing it! I swear don't know how it got written or recorded, but 3 months later, Jason Aldean took that song to #2 on the charts. True story.

*Not actually written by John Rich.

Honest DVD Cover

Little Known Facts II

Cledus T. Judd is the name the parody singer was born with. The "T" stands for Tee.

The Pez company has announced plans to release dispensers in the likenesses of popular country singers. Justin Moore's will be to scale.

Willie Nelson has released more albums than Garth Brooks, Alan Jackson, Ozzy Osbourne, George Strait, Metallica and the Beatles combined. He just recorded one in the time it took you to read this.

Chuck Wicks once looked out over a sold out arena and remarked to his bassist "Thank God we're opening for Brad Paisley!"

In middle school, Jody of Fast Ryde placed 2nd in his age category at his county spelling bee.

Most walls in Wynonna's house were constructed sloping outwards to accommodate her face.

Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland once pummeled a critic unmercifully for referring to her vocal style as nasal. The critic dropped charges for front row seats on the side of the stage Kristian Bush would be playing on the least.

Taylor Swift's all time favorite song is "Eatin' Goober Peas"

John Rich's business cards are diamond cut prismatic card stock with a metallic gold J.R. in the center.

Country Doppelgangers 5

This one's weird admittedly, but one of those doppelganger matching programs found this likeness. Justin Moore and Claire Danes. The facial structure is definitely very similar.

Sonny James and the happy little trees guy, Bob Ross.

"Hold That Thought" crooner Chuck Wicks and that guy from Third Eye Blind. My wife disagrees but I've always seen it.

Lee Brice and Jeremy Piven of Entourage.

Craig Morgan and Howdy Doody.

My trip to Little Rock

I'm still too tired from the weekend's festivities to do much of a wrap-up or review, but I had a great time at Little Rock, Arkansas' Riverfest. I made a little fun of the state to my northwest along the way, but the city of Little Rock is a really nice place, clean and aesthetically pleasing. The festival was also set up and run very well. I'd recommend it to anyone.

I was only able to attend Saturday's performances but wow. Lucero more than held their own alongside the legendary Black Crowes who followed. This little band that could sounded fantastic and had the crowd under their spell for the hour to hour and a half set. The Black Crowes were just awesome. I'm so glad I finally got to see them, especially since there's word that they plan to take a long hiatus after their next tour.

A band with a quite Google search unfriendly moniker, The See, was the first band we saw. I'd never heard of them, but I'd like to hear a lot more from them. They were somewhere in the realm of Replacements, older Kings of Leon... uh, I dunno... just punky alternative bar rock or something, but they would have made a great opener for Lucero. Instead, that honor went to aspiring country singer, Kid Rock lite Uncle Kracker (pictured below).

While I was prepared to unleash all sorts of hatred upon his performance, it was actually fairly entertaining. No, he can't sing that well. Yes, he's Kid Rock lite. Yes, half his hits are cover song. But he was better than I expected. His segue into country music is at its apex, as he opened with a Hank Jr. cover, did his Kenny duet (sans Chesney of course) and mixed in Kenny Rogers and the inescapable "All Summer Long" by his buddy Kid R.

Lucero (pictured below) was next and blew us all away. The band rocked through old favorites like "Tonight Ain't Gonna Be Good" while mixing in plenty of tracks from their latest record. They had a horn section that was a great addition after some sound difficulties got worked out. It was really cool to hear some of their older songs with the new horn flourishes. Lucero finished their set with a killer take on their "All Sewn Up," with Luther Dickinson of the Crowes and the North Mississippi Allstars coming on to lend some help with guitars. Ben threw in a little advertisement for his parents' local (Nichols is a Little Rock native) furniture store, much to the crowd's amusement.

The Black Crowes closed out our night, playing what was obviously their "festival setlist" of all their major hits with a few non-hit favorites and one song from their latest album "Before the Frost..." They played long versions of "Been a Long Time," "Wiser Time," "Thorn in My Pride" (the highlight of my night) and others, showing off the musical chops of one of the most underrated bands of the last 20 years. While there was almost no stage banter from lead singer Chris Robinson, he nonetheless connected and interacted with the crowd with his movement, gestures and soulful singing. He was magnetic.

All in all, Riverfest was a great experience and except for a little Waffle House excursion, I had a fun and safe time. I got to hang out with local (local to me, not Little Rock) sports talk host, lightning rod Kevin Broughton and his lady-friend for most of the evening and they were very cool to watch the show with.

An aside, I saw this 18 wheeler as we were headed back to Memphis this morning. Yes, Kix was driving. Poor guy.

Best of 2010 So Far: May

Top Albums so far

Trampled by Turtles - Palomino

Band of Horses - Infinite Arms

Austin Collins - Wrong Control

Joe Pug - Messenger

Kasey Anderson - Nowhere Nights

Drive-by Truckers - The Big To-Do

Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings - I Learned the Hard Way

Dirty Sweet - American Spiritual

Great American Taxi - Reckless Habits

The Dillinger Escape Plan - Option Paralysis

Hellbound Glory - Old Highs and New Lows

Rodney Hayden - Tavern of Poets

Phosphorescent - Here's to Taking It Easy

Johnny Cash - American VI: Ain't No Grave

Blitzen Trapper - Destroyer of the Void

The Black Keys - Brothers

Surfer Blood - Astro Coast

Tim Barry - 28th & Stonewall

The Hold Steady - Heaven is Whenever

The National - High Violet

Reckless Kelly - Somewhere in Time

The Brothers Comatose - Songs from the Stoop

Nightjar - Hometown Stranger

The Gaslight Anthem - American Slang

Shinyribs - Well After Awhile

Widespread Panic - Dirty Side Down

Hank III - Rebel Within

Titus Andronicus - The Monitor

Retribution Gospel Choir - 2

Alan Jackson - Freight Train

Ray Wylie Hubbard - A. Enlightenment B. Endarkenment (Hint: There Is No C)

Gary Allan - Get Off On the Pain

High on Fire - Snakes for the Divine

Butch Walker and the Black Widows - I Liked It Better When You Had No Heart

Walt Wilkins & the Mystiqueros - Agave

Nas & Damian Marley - Distant Relatives

Whispering Pines - Family Tree

Guthrie Kennard - Matchbox

Murder By Death - Good Morning, Magpie

D.B. Rielly - Love Potions and Snake Oil

Top Live Albums so far

Drew Kennedy - Alone, But Not Lonely

Jason Boland and the Stragglers - High in the Rockies

Zac Brown Band - Pass the Jar

FWC&G: Biggie