Thanks to Ten Pound Hammer for The Mavericks cover!
Nov 20, 2011
Nov 19, 2011
Nov 18, 2011
YouTube Gems: Cary Ann Hearst
From Lions and Lambs, here is Cary Ann Hearst with "Hell's Bells." RIYL: Kathleen Edwards, Janis Joplin, Neko Case, Bonnie Raitt, Hayes Carll.
Nov 17, 2011
Top 10 (Non-Existent) Country Songs About Picnic Products
With the popularity of Toby Keith's "Red Solo Cup" (which is either completely insipid or absolute genius), FTM considered which other picnic essentials might make for good (okay, terrible) song fodder.
Top 10 (Non-Existent) Country Songs About Picnic Products
10. Martina McBride - "Dasani Bottle (It's a Good Thing Gin is Clear)"
09. Garth Brooks - "Are You Gonna Finish That Pimento and Cheese?"
08. Bucky Covington - "Grilling for Dummies"
07. Little Jimmy Dickens - "Bury Me in a Coleman When I Die"
06. Brantley Gilbert - "Drinking the Koolaid"
05. Chris Knight - "Lawn Dart Through the Heart"
04. Loretta Lynn - "You Ain't Woman Enough to Take My Ham Sandwich"
03. Kid Rock - "Wet Ones Antibacterial"
02. Brad Paisley - "I'd Like to Spray You With Off"
01. Gary Levox - "Dixie Heavy Duty Plates"
Nov 16, 2011
Best of 2011 So Far...
Alright, this is the final "Best of 2011…" before the year end list. As you may notice, there's been a great deal of upheaval since the last update. New albums I can't get enough of have rocketed to the top (Quails, Hellbound) and some that were previously high in the rankings have grown tiresome (Blitzen Trapper, Ha Ha Tonka). See what you think and tell me what I've missed (and there are some I just haven't heard enough yet - Boland's new album for one).
1. The Damn Quails - Down the Hatch
2. Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - Here We Rest
3. Hellbound Glory - Damaged Goods
4. Hayes Carll - KMAG YOYO
5. Jimbo Mathus - Confederate Buddha
6. Cary Anne Hearst - Lions and Lambs
7. Butch Walker and the Black Widows - The Spade
8. Austin Lucas - A New Home, In the Old World
9. Kasey Anderson and the Honkies - Heart of a Dog
10. Ponderosa - Moonlight Revival
11. Adele - 21
12. Stoney Larue - Velvet
13. Drew Kennedy - Fresh Water in the Salton Sea
14. Ryan Adams - Ashes and Fire
15. Pistol Annies - Hell on Heels
16. Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears - Scandalous
17. Mastodon - The Hunter
18. Will Hoge - Number Seven
19. Miranda Lambert - Four the Record
20. Bad Meets Evil - Hell (The Sequel)
21. Scott H. Biram - Bad Ingredients
22. Larry Hooper - Between Here and the Stars
23. Left Lane Cruiser - Junkyard Speed Ball
24. Raphael Saadiq - Stone Rollin'
25. Centro-matic - Candidate Waltz
26. Eli Young Band - Life at Best
27. Adam Hood - The Shape of Things
28. Glossary - Long Live All of Us
29. Mike Ethan Messick - The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday
30. Blitzen Trapper - American Goldwing
31. Cody Canada and The Departed - This is Indian Land
32. George Strait - Here for a Good Time
33. Robyn Ludwick - Out of These Blues
34. Ha Ha Tonka - Death of a Decade
35. Childish Gambino - Camp
Nov 15, 2011
Hellbound Glory - Damaged Goods
Hellbound Glory's new album, Damaged Goods, is out today and you better buy it (here!). The boys have retained all the swagger and grit of their previous release, Old Highs and New Lows, but shock of shocks.... they've matured.Oh, they haven't wiped their repertoire of drug references, attitude and guilty pleasure hooks, but they've grown as a band. Their already solid songwriting has gotten tighter. Their musical chops have gotten stronger... and their passion for the music only seems to be burning hotter.
Thankfully, the band has also held onto their dark (but somehow not particularly depressing) worldview. Junkies chase their habit into the sunset because that's what they're hellbent on doing. Women leave because that's what they do. We're just left to drink about it, and though there may be some self-pity mixed in, it's always a fully enjoyed self-pity.
The highlights of the album for me are lead single "Better Hope You Die Young," a warning that hard living isn't conducive to long life, and "Gonna Be a Goner," a catchy woe-is-me toe tapper with an earworm chorus.
"Knocked Off the Horse" is the track that sticks with you, though. It presents the case in matter-of-fact storytelling, that some drug addicts are just destined to let their dependence kill them and there's nothing you can do about it. It's an uncomfortably edgy take on the subject that paints the druggie as almost a heroic figure. It's a breath-taking tune.
Grab this album now if you like stone country with a modern bent and an unfiltered look at the seedier side of life. <---cliche but true
Damaged Goods is a gem.
Nov 14, 2011
Sackpunch #15: Chris Brown Apologists
Every Chris Brown Apologist Deserves a Sackpunch
CHRIS BROWN IS A LEGEND This nonsensical phrase was trending on Twitter for most of the day yesterday. While the merits of the statement can't even be argued rationally (can anyone who isn't a rabid fan even name more than 3 of his songs?), the reasons anyone would harbor such a thought can. However, I'm not here to discuss the psychoses of these mind-addled folks. I'm here to deal out hard facts, namely….
Every Chris Brown apologist deserves a sackpunch. All of you.
The man doesn't sing live very often in concert. Oh yeah, that's because he's dancing so much, you'll say. Yep, that's because he's ripping off Michael Jackson moves so much. And according to reports, he's playing to a lot of empty seats lately. Legend?
Musically, he's not exactly breaking any new ground. He's R&B lite-pop. He's had a total of two (2) #1 Billboard hits and those were in his first two years on the charts. None since. Legend?
Does anything in the last two paragraphs seem like enough to elicit the sort of passionate defense Chris Brown receives from his supporters? See examples:
@MissIgho
Chris Brown = The best there is + Can do no wrong. Please deposit ur opinions in ur bumbums. Thank u.
@BozanneNev
CHRIS BROWN IS A LEGEND end of. #teambreezy, die haters.
@BlazingxStar
People are still not over the fact that Chris Brown hit a woman. Omg he made a mistake. It was YEARS ago. Grow up people -_-
Is there this much passion for other artists with similar followings/styles/success? Besides maybe Usher, who has three #1 albums and nine #1 singles, no. So what is it? Hmmm.
Could it be? Noooo. But maybe… just maybe… this passion could be due to the elephant in the room that I haven't mentioned?
February 8, 2009, Chris Brown assaulted then-girlfriend, R&B megastar Rihanna. From then on, the opinion on Brown has been divided as far as east from west. Former fans without daddy and trust issues and people with IQ's above 95 have given him the finger. The remaining fans have gone all in. And off the deep end.
It's a love-fest and a blind one at that. It's a peculiar addiction. Mostly though, it's constant defense of an indefensible action.
"Eminem hit his wife. Charlie Sheen is an abuser. That was years ago. He made a mistake." Excuses excuses.
I won't defend Eminem. Anyone who lays hands on a woman to hurt them is a sick person, period. So why has society in general pretty much overlooked Eminem's abuse? He's white. I'll admit that's a factor. He's sold millions of albums. Money talks. It's been a much longer period of years since Eminem's crimes. Time heals wounds. Also, culture is more likely to overlook someone's flaws when they are innovative, iconic artists.
That's why Charlie Sheen hasn't been forgiven.
"Years ago" Yeah, three. And since then, Brown has only continued to exhibit a pattern of behavior that leads one to believe he's capable of repeating his actions. He broke mirrors and windows at Good Morning America when asked about the Rihanna incident. He threw a temper tantrum outside a Vegas bar, breaking a bottle and calling a bouncer a fa**ot. He insinuated that another singer was a homosexual when that singer called him out for the Rihanna incident. YESTERDAY, he said critics were just trying to get in Rihanna's pants. At a recent place of residence, he allegedly defaced property, parked exclusively in handicapped spots and played music at high decibels all times of the night.
Intelligent people won't ever forget, but some might be more likely to forgive if Chris would behave like someone who regrets his past.
"HE MADE A MISTAKE!" Wrong, a mistake is backing into somebody at Target. Chris Brown punched, pushed, threatened to kill, choked and bit a woman. By mistake?
Look, I can see maybe, maybe, maybe grasping a woman a bit roughly at the shoulders during a heated argument. I've never done it, but I can see where that might be an expected response for someone more highly strung that myself. Not that it's the best way to handle the situation.
But punching… pushing her head into glass and biting? Biting? How does it come to that? It doesn't for normal human males. Period. All the anger management in the world doesn't remove that from someone prone to doing it. Chris needs some respect-of-females-management. Some home training...
I get it, apologists, you dig the bad boy. You've latched onto Chris and unless he's caught on camera urinating on an underage female, you've got his back forever (R Kelly fans will overlook it though). You'll fight, curse and maybe more for your obsession. The more we hate on him, the more you love him.
Brown is living off you right now. If it weren't for you loonies, he'd be another has-been by now. Deservedly so.
Have some respect for yourself and women. I don't care if you keep listening to him. I listen to music from some real shitheads. You won't catch me defending their actions though. So stop it. Just enjoy his tunes and go to his concerts and buy his t-shirts and shut up. The haters aren't going to, but as soon as you (and your hero) stop reacting to it, the past will have a chance to become just that.
Until then, brace yourself. This is going to hurt you a lot more than it does me.
Here's your SACKPUNCH!
(not literally, I wouldn't hit a woman or a mentally-challenged person)
Nov 13, 2011
Nov 11, 2011
YouTube Gems: Glossary
From their excellent 2011 album Long Live All of Us, here's Glossary with "Trouble Won't Last Always." RIYL: Ryan Adams, Wilco, Lucero, The Civil Wars.
Nov 10, 2011
Feel Bad For You Mixtape: November
This month's edition of the Feel Bad For You Mixtape features some, uh, interesting cover art from Shooter Jennings and songs from The Eagles, Tom Waits, Alabama Shakes, The Damn Quails and more. Visit the site to discuss or download. Stream below!
CMAs Wrap-Up
If you want a list of winners or a review of last night's CMAs, you came to the wrong place. If you want some rehashed Twitter snark from last night.... well, here you go!
Nov 9, 2011
CMA Drinking Game
TAKE A SHOT:
(Of Jager) every time Jason Aldean is shown on camera
(Of Jager and yell "deja vu!") every time Brantley Gilbert is shown on camera
Every time Carrie Underwood changes her clothes
(Of Hennessy) for each hip-hop reference
TAKE A SIP:
Every time somebody who has nothing to do with country music appears on stage
Every time the camera flashes to Blake and Miranda
(Cheap beer) every time you see a male artist wearing jeans and a sportcoat
(Of Boones Farm Wine) every time someone thanks the good Lord
Every time Brad Paisley thinks one of his jokes was cute
(Of flat beer) Every time one of Carrie's jokes falls flat
Every time Kimberly Perry hits a bad note
CHUG:
If Taylor Swift makes the "OMG" face
If a reality show star appears
(Ice cold beer from console) If the camera focuses on Jason Aldean's butt
Every time "If I Die Young" wins an award
FINISH YOUR DRINK:
Before Natasha Bedingfield and Rascal Flatts perform
(Predrink) Before Blake Shelton and Kenny Loggins open the show
If Lionel Richie says something to the effect that he's always been a country boy
*FTM does not advocate over-drinking or driving after playing this game.
Anatomy of a Douche: Mikel Knight
Thanks(?) to Rita for introducing me to this exciting new artist on the scene. Without even hearing a note of his music, I can deduce his douchiness just by seeing this concert ad. (Oh, and his albums are called King of Country Rap volumes 1, 2 etc. That's a tipoff too.)
.
Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Wade Bowen
Hello everybody. I have returned for another turn pontificating about a piece of secular music. I am particularly distraught right now, because my home state of Mississippi last night determined that they hate little babies and wish for them to die. With this breach of moral priorities in mind, I'll strive to deliver some clear thoughts about this song "Saturday Night" by Mr. Wade Bowen.
On the surface, this seems the kind of message I could get behind. Bowen asks why people enjoy the sin and frivolity of Saturday nights. I ask this every Sunday morning, my eyes pausing to rest on a couple of teens slumping in their pews and Louie Reynolds, who recently left his wife and has been seen cavorting at a place called Pardners. In any case, this is a good question. If only the reason behind his disdain for Saturday nights was a pure and good one.
However, Mr. Bowen only dislikes Saturday night because his woman (presumably a woman, but you never know with these liberal Texas types) left him on a Saturday night. This has made him cranky about "drunk girls" he wishes the bartender would kick out and a band that's playing music too loud and a couple who is likely necking in a pleather booth. While these things also get my boxer shorts in a knot, I am opposed to them because I am righteous and Jesus-seeking, not because some female set me free.
If Bowen only finds self-worth in the wanton arms of a barroom floozy, then he is surely bound to someday find his final comforts in the warm and ruddy arms of Satan himself. Also, he admits to drinking amidst his pain and his annoyances. Strong drink is never a solution, it can only be a problem unto itself. Oh, one more thing… he tosses off "nothing but Sunday morning waiting for me at home" as if that is his only option. Find yourself in a church pew telling God you trust in his Word, Mr. Bowen, not hugging the American Standard and telling God lies about how you won't pursue the evils of alcohol again!
While this song is fairly pleasing upon the ears, it is a carrier of dark notions and a bearer of sin. I can only pray and shake my head for Bowen, the fans of his music and you, my reader who will probably disregard my warnings and enjoy this turd that the Dark Lord himself excreted. Repent! Repent I say!
F
R.I.P. Heavy D
Heavy D came from a time when a lot of hip-hop was still fun, and pop rap still had variation in the mainstream. He wasn't afraid to smile or dance in his videos without fear he'd be regarded as soft or a sellout. I miss those days. Rest in peace, big guy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
