My first entry in this year's "best of" series is actually a "worst of." Here are what were, in my estimation, the most terrible country songs released as singles this year. They're in no particular order as I could not discern one piece of crap's artistic worth from another. Click the song titles to listen, if you dare.
George Strait - The Breath You Take
The King finally showed a crack in the armor. This terrible ballad with a downright "bad" melody featured Hallmark card lyrics and awful dirge-like verses.
Jason Aldean - Crazy Town
A throwaway album cut that somehow made it to the airwaves and even more astoundingly, made it to #3 #2 on the charts. Just goes to show that country radio listeners can't get enough of crap. It's not all the radio programmers' faults.
The Band Perry - Hip to My Heart
As far from country as one could hear on country radio this year, this bouncy, aggravating tune was a poor introduction to a band whose folksy "If I Die Young" nearly made up for the crappiness of this song. Sample lyrics: "I like your lips like I like my Coca-Cola / oh how it pops and fizzes"...really?
Rodney Atkins - Farmer's Daughter
Just as ham-fisted and unimaginative as nearly every Atkins single that came before and to top it off, this was a Hail Mary tag-on to an underperforming album to help it sell a few more copies. Weak.
Reba - Turn on the Radio
I hate "Fancy" …despise it. That said, I can respect the art of it. This, likely Reba's worst single to date, not so much. Reba drops knowledge about texting, Tweeting, Facebooking and sounds absurd doing it. It's not that she has to "act her age," she just needs to not be so obvious about trying to stay current, in sound and lyrical content. It just doesn't work for her.
Tim McGraw - Felt Good on My Lips
I really don't get the appeal of this song. It's not country, it's not that catchy, the chorus is just a bunch of stupid "ohh ohhh's" and my nine-year-old could write more engaging lyrics. Still, people continue to defend this song against the evils of someone who'd dare review it. Sure, opinions are like a-holes, but people THIS IS NOT A GOOD SONG - I bet Tim even hates it.
Aaron Lewis - Country Boy
Read here. Still haven't changed my mind.
LoCash Cowboys - Here Comes Summer
Sorry guys. FTM blog readers and winners/losers of 2009 Farcie Award for worst new group released this track to cash in on the coming of the warmer months to no avail. Putting "hotter" where there should have been a rhyme for "summer" was a major problem. The rest of the song not being any good was another.
Fast Ryde - Top Down
LoCash's main competition in the up-and-coming hip-hop-loving country group category, Fast Ryde upped the ante with autotuner for this listless summer anthem that nobody sang along to. At least LoCash's song tried a little.
John Rich - Country Done Come to Town
The King of Douchebags continued his run of terrible sans-Big Kenny song releases with this stupid "look how country I am" tune. Tip to Rich: Call Big. Write songs. Release trashy guilty pleasure album. Alone, you're just guilty (of putting out terrible music).
Dishonorable Mention:
Lady Antebellum - Our Kind of Love
It isn't that this song is all that terrible, just boring. It's pretty much a microcosm of what's wrong with country radio. Uninspired, middle-of-the-road, entirely inoffensive…. entirely pointless radio friendly song.
