Archives: Almost Politically Correct Redneck Memes

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON VARIOUS DATES

Mixed Music Action, Vol. 1 No. 2

By Kevin Broughton

This weekend marks another UFC pay per view event, so we check in with Brother Jeremy Pinnell. Fresh (well, maybe not so fresh) off a Thursday night gig opening for Dale Watson in The Bluff City, our partner was a little sassy this morning. (Note to self: don’t hassle a dude about deadlines if he could choke you unconscious.)

Let’s mix it up. 

Since last time, I’ve had a chance to listen to The Wilder Blue's self-titled album, and Ian Noe's River Fools and Mountain Saints. These seem like some hot rocks to me. Your thoughts?

I absolutely love that Ian Noe record. He’s an amazing songwriter. I haven’t had too much time to dig into The Wilder Blue but the harmonies are killer and they sound like some talented folks. It’s also 9:00 a.m. and we’re in Memphis so I’m a little out of it. I’ll apologize for my answers after being berated by you last night for a slow turn around.

Moving right along…Say you're a presenter at The Americana Awards. You make what you think is a harmless remark about a nominee's wife's bald head (my hypotheticals are laced with irony.) Husband approaches you, winding up for an open-hand slap. What's your best jiu-jitsu counter move, knowing you have to keep the show flowing?

Hahaha! If I saw said guy approaching, I’d probably close the distance. I’d maybe shoot a double leg and go side control to mount.  I’d control the position until security came or just try to keep distance. But I feel like that is a pretty threatening act which would call for immediate action.

I wasn't crazy about this UFC 273 card at first, but you kinda changed my mind. I think the Korean Zombie is kind of a weird matchup for Volkonovski. That could be a good fight, with the Zombie's length. The rematch of Yan vs. Sterling ought to be lit – given the controversial way Sterling “won” the belt. 

And Burns/Chimaev has potential for a great fight. What are you looking forward to in this PPV?

I was stoked on this card as soon as I saw it. Volkonovski is a banger but Zombie is a murderer. I think everyone knows Sterling doesn’t deserve that belt; he said it without saying it when they put it around him. His pace in the last fight was awful. I’m not a fan. Yan is obviously a way more measured fighter.

Also, Chimaev - Burns is gonna be a war. There’s so much hype with Kazmat right now and, I’m really stoked on that. 

If you were able to competently play one instrument besides acoustic guitar, what would it be, and why?

I’d probably play piano, if I could be a modern-day Mickey Gilley or Jerry Lee. Maybe you can buy me some lessons for Christmas.

Something About Tulsa

Bobby's No Potty Mouth

 

Deadline for Dumbass Summer Pop-Country Singles Rapidly Approaching

Though we’ve barely stepped foot into Spring, the deadline for stupid-ass, shallow, moronic, brand name filled, pandering pop-country summer songs is quickly nearing. With the slow movement of the charts these days, a song released now might have a chance of peaking by late August or early September, unless your name is Luke Combs or Morgan Wallen. 

Word out of Nashville says around 43 B, C, and D-list artists were preparing to drop tunes about skinny dipping, trucks, feet on dashes, cut off jeans, girls in trucks, trucks in mud, bonfires in fields, sex in a field, beer in a truck, and the July moon in the next couple of weeks. Though most of these will never climb into the top 40, the braindead, embarrassing, numbskull summer song is a tried and true tradition for artists every year, even if they’re simply going through the motions. 

Even country legends have fallen into this trite formula in the past, with Clint Black (“Summer’s Coming”) and Travis Tritt (“Girls Gone Wild”) putting out their doofiest, most cringe-worthy songs simply with the hopes that country fans would like to listen to songs about what they’re doing in summer while they’re doing it. 

Up and comer Chance Russell is excited about his forthcoming debut single “Livin’ for the Summer.” “It’s about you know, living, and summer, and making sure to be living for the summer.” said a smiling Russell as he signed off on the final mix, replete with computerized drums and meticulously corrected vocals. 

In writer’s rooms across Nashville, some were still trying to bang out empty-headed bangers at the last minute. 9 dudes were attempting to find a rhyme for ‘hard seltzer’ in one plush office, while 13 guys and one girl were adding some last minute slang to their shit-for-brains summer slapper in the suite next door. 

Other titles to be on the lookout for include:

“Married in Myrtle”

“White Claw Can, Fresh Spray Tan”

“Redneck Vibe Check”

“Dirt Road Drip”

“Left My Heart on Miramar”