Showing posts with label Bon Jovi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bon Jovi. Show all posts

Aug 28, 2024

Every #1 Country Song of the 2000s: 2006

2006



January 14: "She Let Herself Go" by George Strait

I love a song that lets a woman have agency. This woman breaks free from her relationship, and the man thinks she'll be a wreck without him. And sure enough, once it's over, she "let[s] herself go" -- on multiple vacations, a trip to the spa, a blind date, and off to buy a new car. It's not a mere punch line; it's surprisingly feminist in how she's able to regain control so quickly after freeing from an unsavory man. It's the kind of wordplay you'd expect from Dean Dillon, and Strait gives a breezy vibe that's slightly different from the usual for him. As I said in the previous entry, "twisting a formula around is almost always a good move," and this one sticks the landing. Let yourself go listen to this again and again; you won't regret it. A


January 21: "Jesus, Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood

I have a term for this early-noughties trend of motivational/inspirational songs: "Chicken Soup for the Soul Country." This one is squarely within those paramters, but other than the odd scansion of the date being both "last Friday" and Christmas Eve, it really does nothing wrong. If you have a near-miss car accident that puts your life in danger, you'd probably take it as a wake-up call too. It's not a terribly original narrative, but the change from a literal wheel to a metaphorical one is far less contrived than it sounds on paper. Sure, she hadn't fully fleshed out her interpretive skills yet (it could've been a little less belt-y), and as her first real bow post-American Idol, a song of this nature can come across as pandering. This is made more for the Hallmark Channel crowd than it is for me, but for what it is, it more than does the job. B


March 4: "When I Get Where I'm Going" by Brad Paisley feat. Dolly Parton

I have no problem with the "what will happen when I get to Heaven" narrative, as George Strait's "You'll Be There" and Trent Tomlinson's "One Wing in the Fire" are among my all-time favorites. Conversely, this one isn't nearly as wrong-headed as Diamond Rio's utterly awful "God Only Cries." I just think it starts off wrong with lines about petting lions and riding drops of rain, which give an almost infantile tone. The chorus and second verse are fine, and it doesn't really stumble again until the generic "and so much work to do" which calls to mind Annie Coghill's "Work, for the Night Is Coming" (probably the most popular hymn I've seen since "In the Garden" that has nothing even remotely Christian to say). And maybe it's the 20 years of church organist speaking, but can we please start referencing hymns other than "Amazing Grace"? From a vocal and production standpoint, everything here is perfectly fine -- it's not bombastic and I like the modulation on the bridge, although I would've had Dolly sing a few lines herself and not just backup. Overall, it's not the worst; it's just the first time since "Little Moments" that one of Brad's ballads did nothing for me. C+


March 11: "Your Man" by Josh Turner

This one got mauled by overplay for me, but in the years since, I've come to find renewed appreciation for it. It's just chill, reserved, and sensual without feeling icky -- not even when he sings "I can't believe how much it turns me on." It helps that Josh Turner's asset is being laid-back and smooth; while it can occasionally spill over into stuffy conservatism ("Everything Is Fine"), that's thankfully not the case here. The gentle shuffle melody and lighthearted production (I hove how piano and steel cut in and out between verses, playing something a little different each time) make this a smooth little treat. While overall it's not really breaking any new ground, it's covering familiar territory in a way that never feels dusty or stodgy. B+


March 18: "Living in Fast Forward" by Kenny Chesney

Kenny Chesney spent most of this decade in high gear, so I can believe the narrative of a hectic life from which he wants to escape -- even if it's a well he went back to a few too many times. But as one of his first takes on that formula, this one's more than likable enough. It's got a good hook and some great guitar work. (Is the line about treating the body like a honky-tonk and not a temple an homage to Confederate Railroad, or was that already a joke before then?) While I doubt that Kenny Chensey was partaking of "greasy cheeseburgers and cheap cigarettes," I'll allow the artistic license. And then I'll get distracted halfway through the review and realize how un-memorable this song ultimately is, and wonder why I'm not reviewing the infinitely superior "Who You'd Be Today" instead. You almost had me there, Kenny. B-


April 8: "What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts

First I hated this song. Then I liked it. Then I hated it again. Now it's probably my favorite of theirs. I think the different production style threw me -- it's definitely harder than most of their songs prior had been. "I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house / That don't bother me" is a great opening line. This man is vulnerable but, despite his brave front, he can't deal with a lost love that slipped through his hands. It's a surprisingly nuanced and emotional lyric, a very different style for Jeffrey Steele to be sure. Literally everything works on this song for me; I think I just had to peel back some of the layers first. And it probably also helps that hindsight has shown that compared to some of their more bloated efforts in later years, this is practically Nickel Creek by comparison. Either way, it's dramatic, deep, and unique in a lot of small intangible ways, and I think that is ultimately its greatest asset. A+


May 6: "Who Says You Can't Go Home" by Bon Jovi feat. Jennifer Nettles

I hate to ding the first verse twice in the couplet "Like a blind dog without a bone / I was a gypsy lost in the Twilight Zone" for not only the mixed metaphor, but also the slur. (To be fair, not everyone knows that, and I think even fewer people did in 2006.) Literally everything else on this song works: it's bright and sunny but has some grit, Bon Jovi and Jennifer Nettles have amazing chemistry (arguably, even more than she has ever had with Kristian Bush on almost any Sugarland song), and the theme of finding what you need by going back home is an interesting twist on common wanderlust tropes. There's certainly more than enough here to recover the fumble early on, and I love that something so off-kilter managed to connect. B+


May 20: "Wherever You Are" by Jack Ingram

Jack Ingram is one of many Texas country artists who spent years building up a cult following with tough, gritty songs before finally breaking through with his only major hit. While fellow Texan Pat Green managed to break through with a song that didn't sacrifice the grit ("Wave on Wave"), Jack Ingram instead leaned into the generic. Against a guitar riff that sounds like someone needed a royalty-free rewrite of Radney Foster's "Nobody Wins," Ingram gives an admittedly textured read of an uninspired "find the one I love" narrative. There are no emotional stakes; just a bunch of "I'm missing you and want to find you" vagueness without anything to make it stand out. And yet it's still less infuriatingly bland and derivative than "Maybe She'll Get Lonely." I wonder what would have happened had he gone with "Love You" as the first single to a fully studio album, instead of stapling two tracks -- that much better song and this generic radio-bait -- onto an existing live album. Maybe he could've found a more convincing way to balance artistry and success, and we could've been spared the desperation of covering "Lips of an Angel" while we were at it. C


May 27: "Why" by Jason Aldean

I wish I didn't have to talk about Aldean at all, but I will begrudgingly admit there was a time when he didn't suck, as a musician or a human being. I once heard someone say this song sounds like an abuser spewing out half-hearted apologies to regain trust in a woman before abusing her all over again (probably not helped by Shannon Brown's pronoun-flipped version, where "abuse victim" is a legitimate read). But even with Aldean's later scumminess in mind, I can't get there myself. To me, this is a guy who knows he keeps making mistakes in his relationship, and is throwing out rhetorical questions about why he can't fix his own stupidity. That's a level of self-awareness this kind of narrative usually lacks, and it's all the better for it. Aldean always had kind of a weird singing voice and he never sounded great in concert, but this is legitimately one of his best vocal reads to date. I have to wonder what his career arc would be like if he had more songs like this and "Amarillo Sky," and fewer like "Try That in a Small Town." B+


June 3: "Settle for a Slowdown" by Dierks Bentley

I like the narrative here. Not unlike "Nothin' but the Taillights," he's stuck outside, watching her car drive off. He doesn't want her to turn around and come back to him; he just wants her to stop for a moment and think about it. It's a clever punch line, and the verses mesasure up. I like how he admits he looks stupid standing out in the rain, and how he reveals she wanted to leave him for Hollywood. I also like how the last chorus changes the words to show that she's further away now. While the melody is a bit repetitive at times, the gritty delivery, spaghetti Western-tinged guitar hook, and resolution to minor key at the end of each line all make up for any other shortcomings in sound design. I'm not settling for anything here; this is a damn good song. A


June 17: "Summertime" by Kenny Chesney

This was the first Kenny Chesney song since "I Will Stand" that really missed for me. And that was before I read a Country Weekly article where he said he asked the writers to remove a line about snow cones because he didn't know what they are. While it's the only song I can think of that name-drops Yoo-Hoo, it's about as appetizing as a warm bottle of Yoo-Hoo that's been sitting on the floorboards. The melody is a static so-mi-so-mi-so pattern on the chorus, only to reach painfully out of his register on the chorus (seriously, it hurts my ears to listen to), and the guitar textures are equally harsh. Plus, the hook is just a dull thud: "It's a smile, it's a kiss / It's a sip of wine, it's summertime." Almost no thought feels like it went into writing this, and very little went into the production or arrangement either. Seriously, one of his worst. D+


July 22: "The World" by Brad Paisley

After the great Mud on the Tires, this was around the time where Brad hit a rough patch for me. While this album cycle started off strong with the genuinely clever "Alcohol" (a comedy song that name-drops Ernest Hemingway is clearly going way smarter than songs like that usually do), this one is just an endless barrage of "To X, you're Y" lines with no real punch lines. And of course it builds up to a lame, predictable girl/world rhyme. I don't think a single joke lands in the entire song, and it's not helped by how much plainer Brad's voice was already getting by this point. While I'm also hit-and-miss on his guitar work, that's one of the few points in this song's favor -- 32 tracks, if I recall correctly, layer in a lot of interesting textures that make this a cut above sonically. It's just a shame the rest of the song couldn't measure up. C


August 12: "If You're Going Through Hell (Before the Devil Even Knows)" by Rodney Atkins

A motivational song with actual tempo and some degree of a narrative? Be still my heart. This one brims with energy from the get-go in a way this kind of song usually lacks. Every line runs into the other in some of the most creative wordplay I've ever heard ("You step off the straight and narrow and you don't know where you are / Use the needle of your compass to sew up your broken heart/ Ask directions from a genie in a bottle of Jim Beam and she lies to you"), leading to that killer of a chorus. This song is just plain fun to listen to, and it hits even harder if you know about Rodney's back story -- he was allegedly born through date rape and subject to a number of health issues in his youth, and his early recording career was plagued with production and management issues (two words: Curb Records). This one is as sympathetic as it is fun to listen to, and it's all the better for it. The "I Hope You Dance" crowd would be better served with songs like this. A


September 9: "Leave the Pieces" by the Wreckers

Michelle Branch going country feels like a no-brainer. She had that folksy kind of approach with just enough polish, and adding Jessica Harp for some extra texture only made things even better. This was good for the Sheryl Crow/Jewel crowd, but the fiddle and banjo recall the Chicks as well. It's a breakup song, as you'd expect, but the hook is the real killer here. "There's nothing you can do or say / You're gonna break my heart anyway / So just leave the pieces when you go." I also love how confident she is in telling him to just get on with it, because she can bounce back. This song is sturdy, feminist, folksy, and meaningful in ways that weren't in vogue at the time, and I have to wonder if the decline of the Chicks played a factor in them not sticking around longer. Because from this song alone, they were too damn good to have only one album. A+


September 23: "Brand New Girlfriend" by Steve Holy

This song walks a fine line between funny and obnoxious. We start off with a diminished-chord intro where he lays out that she needs some time to herself. I like how there's a little "um" between "I did what any gentleman would do" and the more cheery "I got a brand new girlfriend." Lines like "kissy kissy smoochy smoochy" may wear on you after the 20th listen or so, but for the first few listens it's kind of funny. Maybe I'm a bit biased because I haven't heard it in years by now, but it did get a chuckle after a re-visit. The only real letdown here is that this was the song that got him back to the top, and not the stunning "Go Home" or "Put Your Best Dress On." But at the same time, at least it wasn't nearly as loud and obnoxious as "Men Buy the Drinks (Girls Call the Shots)." B


September 30: "Give It Away" by George Strait

We've seen George Strait broaden his horizons considerably in this stretch, and here's another example of him doing just that. The bluesy guitar tone recalls "Gone as a Girl Can Get" (one of the few George Strait songs where he was backed by the Ace in the Hole band). His talk-singing is delightfully laid-back but never muted,  laying out the divorce narrative. She doesn't even want his things, and tells him to just "give it away" because they're too tired from fighting. And after a few more failed attempts with other women, he's got a broken heart that he can't even give away. It's clever as hell, and the spoken-word narrative reminds you that yes, Whispering Bill did co-write this (although if I recall correctly, it was actually one of the other writers who suggested that). I especially love the little "hmm"s, as if he's trying to sort out the story himself. This was the song that claimed Strait's record for the most #1 hits, and I think it was a fantastic, inspired song worthy of that honor. A


October 14: "Would You Go with Me" by Josh Turner

This song is utterly charming in its promise of undying love. I think the narrative is inspired, in how every line forms a question. The lines are whimsical -- fields of clover, edge of the sea, etc. -- but they never feel like they're going to spill into Care Bears territory. That pretty production does a lot to set the scene, with its frequent mandolin and Dobro runs, along with its unexpected resolution into minor key. Josh Turner's voice also gets a hell of a workout, going all the way from basso profondo on the verses to falsetto on the chorus. Rarely since the heyday of Vince Gill has a love song sounded so warm, pretty, and evocative. If I were the woman in this scenario, I'd say "yes" before he even got to the chorus; he's just that damn convincing here. A+


October 28: "I Loved Her First" by Heartland

Who the hell let a bar band onto the charts? This was a baffling success: some nobodies on an indie label zoom up the charts and then immediately disappear. Everything about this record seems like it should have "not ready for prime time" written all over it (looking at you, Perfect Stranger), but it actually does manage to be slightly more than the sum of its parts. I like that it's a waltz, and that the production is actually laid-back; it gives a bit more nuance to a "father giving his daughter away" song. And "I loved her first" is actually a pretty good hook to explain the sentiment. Maybe overall it's a tad generic and lacking in artistic identity. But just enough charm manages to shine through in a way that I think this record would have lacked with more mainstream gloss behind it, and its endurance is proof that it did something right. B


November 4: "Every Mile a Memory" by Dierks Bentley

The melody's a bit clunky, but I like the imagery here: old theater marquee signs (fun fact: there used to be a farm supply store near me in an old small-town theater, and they kept the marquee up), mossy town squares, and red sunsets all paint clear images that evoke that "desert sky" feel I saw in a lot of '90s country (e.g., "Even the Man in the Moon Is Cryin'"). And of course, all these memories of a traveling musician just remind him of the woman who isn't there anymore -- which is summed up in the great line "'Round every bend I only see just how far I haven't come." I almost wonder if the slightly better "Long Trip Alone," where he pleads for someone to be by his side, is a sequel song. Even if it's not, that's still some interesting artistic cohesion showing how far he has come as an artist by the third album. A-


November 11: "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood

I remember a lot of people laying into this song, thinking she's a petty psychopath who vandalizes property. But if you pay attention to the lyrics, she knows what he's doing because he's done it before. I know the kind who badly sing Shania at karaoke, and who put on "our exquisite replica of Polo Sport" in the Love's bathroom. The kind who get too hands-y when trying to line up a pool shot. And yes, the kind who would totally vandalize their boyfriend's car after catching him cheating. (Is this song really out of place in a universe where Miranda Lambert was kicking ass and taking names in "Kerosene" and "Gunpowder & Lead"?) Plus, this song was Carrie switching from her nice girl persona and offering up her first viewing of her grittier side, and it's just self-aware enough that you can tell Carrie wouldn't actually recommend doing this herself. I'm sure it was cathartic for a lot of women who wanted to seek revenge in a similar fashion. B+


December 16: "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts

Somehow, a blatant retread of "I Hope You Dance" manages to be slightly less irritating than that song. Maybe it's because this kind of slick sentimentality isn't as far off the mark for Rascal Flatts as it was for Lee Ann Womack. It's also not quite as bombastic, even if it is still more than a little bit list-y. (To be fair, I do like that Jeffrey Steele wrote in a nod to Van Zant's "Help Somebody," a great song he also co-wrote.) The melody is rather sing-song-y, and there's really nothing that makes it stand out among other songs of its ilk. But knowing what's to come later on in Rascal Flatts' catalog, this is merely mediocre and derivative -- which is far from the worst a song can be, but still not my cup of tea. C-


December 23: "Want To" by Sugarland

They may have lost a member, but they didn't lose any of their talent. Jennifer Nettles' phrasing is on point, and maybe it's the lack of Kristen Hall, but Kristian Bush is higher in the mix than usual too. The energy of  trying to play it cool while on the brink of love is palpable, thanks to lines like "We could keep things just the same / Leave here the way we came, with nothing to lose / But I don't want to, if you don't want to." It's by little details like how they're out having a picnic on the lakeshore. The acoustic production style is yet another example of a song evoking the heyday of the Chicks; as someone who can actually play one, I am forever in favor of more mandolin in country music. Also, since I'm here, can I ask: why did they lower the pitch for the music video? (No, that's not a Vevo glitch; I rememeber it being that way on CMT too.) A+

Apr 17, 2024

Top 10 Biggest Jerks in Heartland Rock


We uncovered some surprising secrets about some of the biggest heartland rockers. You may have assumed these were generally upstanding folks, but think again. Here’s our ranking of the worst!


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10. John Cafferty

Named his band The Beaver Brown Band. Tricked millions of 1980s casual radio listeners into thinking he was Bruce Springsteen. 


9. Melissa Etheridge
Tricked millions of 1990s bro-dudes into singing along with lesbian love songs. For several tours, would only play a reggae reimagining of “Come to My Window.” 


8. Bob Seger
Says Kid Rock is his greatest musical progeny. Despite being very popular in the South, betrayed them by being a political centrist. Has promised to only allow samples of his songs to be used by mumble rappers. 


7. Brian Fallon
Says the name of his band The Gaslight Anthem is about farts, not about manipulating someone into doubting their own thoughts. Says it’s always been that way and you know this. 


6. John Fogerty
In an interview once said Florida-Georgia Line was the closest thing he’d ever heard to the spirit of Creedence. Always arguing with the Kroger checkout person over expired coupons. Initiates conversations with strangers at the urinal. 


5. Brandon Flowers
Sends takedown notices if a YouTube music reviewer gives a Killers album less than 5 stars. Only promotes his solo albums on social media. Once called his fans “pour over coffee drinking white suburban unmarried cat-parents” which is true but was very controversial at the time. 


4. Ryan Culwell

Backstage rider far more extravagant and demanding than everyone on this list, despite him being the least well known. Pretends to be Americana when it suits him. Likes to watch those zip popping videos at full volume in the doctor’s office waiting room. 


3. Jon Bon Jovi
Still touring despite his voice retiring in 2003.  At concerts, only performs a medley of the greatest hits to close the show after an hour and half of current songs nobody knows. Cites John Cafferty as his main musical influence. Insisted he be placed on this list rather than the hair metal edition. 


2. Bruce Springsteen
Has just been pretending to be liberal for decades but secretly funds several New Jersey far right militias. Takes credit for Courtney Cox’s entire career. Only speaks to his bandmates in quotes from Parks & Rec. Made Jake Clemons play an entire tour with tiny truck nutz hanging from his saxophone. 


1. John Mellencamp
Whoops, sorry for including an actual jerk.* This list is supposed to be satirical.









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*His inclusion isn't due to that viral video yesterday which was used for nefarious political purposes. He was in the right in that instance.

Aug 14, 2018

The Secret to Rockers Going Country

These pop and rock artists could have had more success 
in the country world with these subtle lyrical changes.








Oct 8, 2014

Top 10 Ways Nashville Songwriters are Changing Their Approach in 2014

 
On 2014's mainstream country radio, we've seen a slight maturing of the content and a subtle movement away from so much "bro." There have also been other shifts, such as nekkid-ness and even more drinking than anyone thought possible. Here are some of the methods Music Row's finest are using to adapt with the times.

Top 10 Ways Nashville Songwriters are Changing
Their Approach in 2014

10. Learning the names of a larger variety of alcoholic beverages
for their songs' characters to drink while driving

09. Requesting that singers pronounce "truck" with a bit of ironic displeasure

08. Extending group of 'outsiders' who should be pummeled by
country boys to include people who live in the suburbs, the educated, and bloggers

07. Evolving their sonic palette from 'peak hair metal' (Poison, Bon Jovi)
to 'waning days of hair metal' (Trixter, Danger Danger)

06. Bringing back the working man trope (as long as he don't work in no damn city)

05. Tamping down on the misogyny a bit by giving female characters a larger role, such as 
lighting the bonfire, letting down the tailgate, or initiating the unprotected sex

04. Limiting grammatical errors to 2 per song

03. Slyly inserting marijuana references into every song,
including quasi-religious songs and anti-immigration anthems

02. Cutting back on incidents of racist, homophobic rants and drunken brawls

01. Full frontal nudity

Jan 28, 2013

Same Ol' Song

I wrote this lyric before the days of Farce the Music (or Photocrap, for that matter) and unfortunately it rings truer than ever now. And yes, I name dropped... but it fit the theme - I wasn't doing it for fake country cred.



No Country on the Radio

I was in the mood for a drinkin' song
Some guy cryin' over love that's gone
So I flipped through a dozen stations
I shook my head I couldn't find a thing
No sad fiddles, no whiskey, no twang
And came to the sad realization

(Chorus)
There ain't no country on the radio
No steel guitars, nothing sad and slow
It's happy slappy joy joy
From little girls and pretty boys
Singin' pop songs in a row
But there ain't no country on the radio

I caught the tail end of Shania Twain
DJ said that's the classic of the day
I almost drove off the shoulder
The next song sounded like a Hallmark Card
Some whiner rhyming "heart" with "apart"
I know Waylon just rolled over

('Cause) There ain't no country on the radio
No steel guitars, nothing sad and slow
It's happy slappy joy joy
From little girls and pretty boys
Singin' pop songs in a row
But there ain't no country on the radio

Bridge
I found an old truckstop with a $5 rack
Bought some Yoakam, Paycheck and Hag
The channel may be clear but I ain't comin' back

(Alt Bridge)
Hootie, The Eagles, Bon Jovi, oh my
I know where old rockers go to die

('Cause) There ain't no country on the radio
No steel guitars, nothing sad and slow
It's drum loops and big guitars
Makes me wanna crash my car
God I miss George Jones
There ain't no country on the radio


©2007 Corey Parkman

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