Tyler Hubbard, having blown through $156 million earned during his FGL days,
takes a job more suited for his skills - guessing fair-goers weights and ages
Singers, songwriters, and musicians now pay music fans to listen to their singles and albums
Parmalee still releasing singles from 2013 album
Jason Aldean's fifth wife takes half his remaining estate in their divorce
(3 Miller Lites, a subscription to hugejugs.xxx, and a faux vintage Skynyrd t-shirt)
Tyler Farr parks his minivan on his ex-wife's lawn and throws empty craft beer bottles at her window
R Kelly still peeing on people, but now because he is unable to control his bladder
Queen Swift of the UN Worldstate Council has all the music bloggers
who used to make fun of her voice beheaded on live television
Brad Paisley now writing goofy-ass songs about Metamucil,
retirement funds, and erectile dysfunction
Kenny Chesney has trouble visiting the beach with his old blue walker
Keith Richards cuts back to a pack of cigarettes a day
Casey Donahew Band plots reunion tour. 35-50 year old bros
throughout Texas and Oklahoma brush up on fist-pumping skills
Sam Hunt custom orders Hitler-youth-hairstyle toupé
Every single attendee at summer country music festival arrested for something or other
Colt Ford still doesn't have any hits
Luke Bryan found destitute and crack-addicted in an Atlanta alley,
clutching a frayed pair of skinny jeans
