Farce the Music: Dwight Yoakam

Sep 3, 2014

If Dallas Davidson Had Written These Country Classics

Guitars, Cadillacs

And it's DJs, Chevys jacked, EDM music
Muddy, muddy fields that my tires roam
Yeah, my DJs, Chevys jacked, EDM music
And sexting hotties pictures of my dong

Old Dogs, Children and Watermelon Wine

Old trucks drive you round the square even when you're drunk as hell
God bless little cutoffs them girls are shakin' so well
That's pretty much the deepest stuff that's ever on my mind
Yeah old trucks and cutoffs and Kroger cherry shine

King of the Road

Raptor with chromed out vents
Custom seat - leather bench
Bluetooth and intake kit
Brand new Powerplant winch
Yo, it's..four hundred horses strong
Drive your girl right out of her thong
I'm the man drivin' with a lean
King of the bros

Forever and Ever Amen

If you wonder how long we'll be grindin'
Well, just crank up R Kelly's 12 Play
I'm gonna tap it for minutes, and minutes and minutes, lil bae

Hello Darlin'

What's up baby
How you doin'?
Those jeans sure are tight
So shake that money
Like I love to see

Have a cold one
Are you horny
Like I am tonight
Drop the tailgate
And play some Aldean

Sep 20, 2013

What Your Taste in Country Music Says About Your Weekend Plans

Your favorite country artist says a lot about you and your likely plans for this weekend.

Miranda Lambert

Go dove hunting Saturday morning while your dumbass boyfriend stays home nursing

a hangover and a black eye he got from saying something stupid Friday night.

Luke Bryan

Update your Luke Bryan Tumblr page and wish you had a guy

with a truck to take you to a field and drink beer on the tailgate.

Dwight Yoakam

Go out for a Harley ride with your other retired friends.

Jason Aldean

Get stuck in a gravel road rut in your Accord with your girlfriends

driving out in the country trying to find a pasture party.

Brantley Gilbert

Take practice GED. Steal propane.

Casey Donahew Band

Hang with bros. Drink beer. Pump fist. Repeat.

Ashley Monroe

Puff a doobie while studying for the bar exam.

Florida-Georgia Line

Fight with your girlfriend in public. Miss a MMA training session Saturday because of an

apple pie moonshine hangover. Get a speeding ticket in your Ford Raptor Sunday afternoon.

Idea kinda sorta lifted from this.

Jan 28, 2013

Same Ol' Song

I wrote this lyric before the days of Farce the Music (or Photocrap, for that matter) and unfortunately it rings truer than ever now. And yes, I name dropped... but it fit the theme - I wasn't doing it for fake country cred.