Top 11 Things It Looks Like Brantley Gilbert is About to Do in This Picture

Top 11 Things It Looks Like Brantley Gilbert is About to Do in This Picture

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11. Beat up a band dork for texting his ex-girlfriend

10. Shart in his Punisher underwear

9. Roll coal on an electric car while hitting a road sign with a just emptied beer bottle with one hand and cranking up the Colt Ford with the other hand

8. Utter one of the following phrases: “Do you even lift, bro?” or “She a thot, son”

7. Masturbate while watching Iron Eagle for the 78th time

6. Yell something racist

5. Rupture a blood vessel

4. Call for a homer and hit a dribbler to the pitcher

3. Lick the remnants from the bottom of an empty can of Copenhagen

2. Hit the emergency stop and clean up the vomit on The Scrambler

1. Go to war against the Pacific northwestern small town cops who wronged him

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By Trailer and Jeremy Harris

Top 10 Signs You’re a Basic A** Country Girl

10. The bartender at a Nashville pedal tavern has cut you off before

9. You don’t remember what songs Kane Brown sang in concert, but he’s your favorite singer because he’s “sooo hot!”

8. You own more pairs of cut-offs than there are Presidents you can name

7. You missed work/class to cry and drink wine the day you found out Dustin Lynch has a girlfriend

6. The above concoction seems like the best thing ever

5. You’ve ever said “Y’all I’m literally dead”

4. There’s just something about a community college dropout in a lifted Raptor running a stoplight while cranking Florida-Georgia Line that makes you fall in love every time

3. You own 3 pair of boots with crosses on them and ain’t been to church in years

2. Your Jeep with a Yeti sticker and a deer decal has never left the pavement of Davidson county

1. You will gladly stand in line upwards of 3 hours to have your photo taken in front of some wings painted on a wall

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Inspired by this tweet from Country Hodge Podge:

Top 10 Biggest Jerks in Texas Country Music

Some people would imagine that the fan-friendly, honest Texas country music scene would not be as likely to contain divas and d-bags as pop music or Nashville. However, those people would be wrong. Here are some of the genre's most egregious offenders.

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10. Kevin Fowler

Reply All… every time

Somehow always around when the tour bus bathroom smells, but never did it

9. Bri Bagwell

Starts every sentence with “No offense, but…”

Talks on speaker phone at the gym

8. Casey Donahew

Stage banter consists entirely of discussing the show Entourage

All band members must refer to him as “sir”

7. Kyle Park

Waits till he gets up to the counter to look at the menu

Calls Koe Wetzel screaming for no reason every morning around 5 a.m.

6. Sarah Hobbs

Takes a smoke break during church and puffs Black & Milds right outside the sanctuary

“Gangnam Style” ringtone

5. Zane Williams

Wears shirts printed with recent tv show spoilers on stage

Threw out first pitch at a minor league game and purposely beaned the catcher between the pads

Replaces the toilet paper ‘roll under’

4. Lyle Lovett

Still does the duck face and peace sign in pics

Signs autographs as “Shyle Shovett”

Only speaks German in interviews since 2004

3. Kylie Rae Harris

Just shows up with Whataburger without asking anybody if they wanted some first

Her only jokes are stolen from Larry the Cable guy

Her encore at shows? “Baby Shark”
(RIP KRH. Leaving this because she 'liked' it on Twitter)

2. Dalton Domino

Breath always smells like pickle chips

Proud to prove he knows every word of “F the Police” every chance he gets

Signs up for fetish porn sites using bandmates’ email addresses

1. Cory Morrow

Never been to a  Buc-ees without asking to speak to the manager

Calls everybody “chief” or “pahdnah”

Leaves shopping carts behind car parked next to him

Brutal SBDs

Top 10 Signs You Might Be a Kane Brown Fan

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10. You're loudly yelling at your ex-husband on the phone outside a tanning salon

9. You're only getting the Aryan nation prison tattoo lasered off now that your son's dating a black woman

8. Your truck cost more than you and your neighbor's trailers put together

7. You're sporting a Kane Brown t-shirt …and an ankle bracelet

6. You got a DUI on the way to church

5. You recently asked your friend about hosting an essential oils party at her house because your apartment is being fumigated right now

4. You have said: "I'm not racist, I listen to Kane Brown!"

3. People can see a dolphin tattoo on your butt cheek because your pajama pants are sliding down in the express lane at Walmart where you have 27 items

2. You talk about country music evolving, but dropped out of school before biological evolution was taught

1. All your Facebook posts are either "if you come at my family, you come at me" or Kane Brown videos

Top 10 Kane Brown Songs That Really Aren't That Bad

Yeah, we've been a little hard on Kane Brown. His first music was amateurish at best, and his new songs are heavy on the pop and light on the country. He also tends to sing as if he's experiencing bowel discomfort. He also seems to have very thin skin toward "haters" and critics. All that said, we can find the good in every artist, right? Even the most disagreeable country acts have some songs that will surprise you. Here are the ten Kane Brown songs we think you should open your mind to and give a chance right now!

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Top 10 Biggest Country Singer/Songwriter Jerks

Some would imagine that relatively under-the-radar country singer/songwriters would not be as likely to be divas and d-bags as the ultra-hyped superstars. However, this is not to be. 

Here are some of the most egregious offenders.

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10. Brandy Clark

Keeps "Draw 4" up sleeve when playing Uno

Tour rider requires Koolaid pickles, a Creed prayer candle, and 5 bottles of Olde English

9. Ed Hill

Thinks Farce the Music is hilarious

Actual crisis actor

8. Mac McAnally

Thinks Soulja Boy is better than 2Pac

Donates to charities promoting homelessness

7. Josh Grider

Does not tell someone if they have a booger

Hobby: Martin Shkreli fan fiction

6. Gretchen Peters

Has been kicked off multiple flights for fighting and drunkenness

Personally puts tiny scratch on each vinyl album ordered through her website

5. Will Hoge

Wears awkwardly short shorts to co-writing sessions

Default font on all emails? comic sans

4. Lori McKenna

Performs thorough and morally judgmental background check on co-writers

2 can a day Copenhagen habit

Wears big hats to church and sits in front of short people

3. Travis Meadows

Spreads nasty rumors about Whiskey Jack's hygiene

Argues with cashiers over expired coupons

Changes Alan Jackson online set lists and Wikipedia page to say AJ covers Lil Wayne, Future

2. Mandy Barnett

Writes "Nice" on page 69 of every library book she checks out

Coughs on buffets

Still wears a bluetooth earpiece

1. Kendell Marvel

Refused shot, gave 73 people flu this year

Secretly writes bro-country songs under pen name Chris DeStefano

Doesn't refill the Keurig

Claims world's largest laserdisc porn collection

Top 10 Things Kane Brown Fans Say to Police Officers

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10. No sir, this is a chemistry set I bought off Ebay. 

9. Yeah, I know they're out. They're called break lights so I broke them.

8. I'm just taking care of these pills till grandaddy gets out of the hospital.

7. I'm the one who called. This man on Twitter doesn't like Kane Brown, so he's racist and that's a hate crime.

6. I'll give you a handy for $10. Oh shit, you're a cop.

5. Yes officer, this lady just stole my heroin.

4. Just because I picked this young man up from basketball practice don't mean he's underage.

3. Aunt Grandma put this crack in my backpack, not me. 

2. But the teacher said we could bring drinks in study hall. It's just beer.

1. It's not illegal for her to be 15 if we're married

Top 10 Things Brantley Gilbert Fans are Spending Their Tax Refunds on 2018

10. Converting the septic tank to an underground meth lab

9. The wedding

8. Adding on to the house

7. Getting a gun tattoo because Brantley did

6. Nothing, saving it

5. The entire Jay Hickman discography on vinyl

4. Getting a sexy photo shoot like Michael Hayes

3. Prison commissary credits for dad

2. Hospital bills

1. Anniversary gift for your side chick

Top 10 Biggest Jerks in Americana Music

Some would imagine that the fan-friendly, honest Americana music scene would not be as likely to contain divas and d-bags as the more mainstream genres of music. However, thanks to critic and hipster love for the buzzworthy genre, things have changed of late. This groundswell has slowly created a context wherein all manner of unlikely aspirants are more apt to let their jerk flag fly. Here are some of the genre's most egregious offenders.

10. Brent Cobb

"Forgets" to invite cousin Dave to family functions

Band members only allowed to speak to him by text message

9. Rhiannon Giddens

Borrows band members' phones and logs out of everything

Once put a fan who accidentally called her 'Rihanna' in a triangle choke submission hold

8. Amanda Shires

Wouldn't speak to husband, Jason, for a month when he opposed the name "Taco Lucinda" for their daughter

Performed an entire show of Rob Thomas covers when one crowd was smaller than anticipated

7. Rob Baird

Always eats the middle cinnamon roll out of the pan first

Spends hours a day leaving 1 star iTunes reviews on other Americana artists

Will only autograph thongs

6. Shooter Jennings

Puffs, doesn't pass

Got a secret tip and sold all his Bitcoin to Marilyn Manson just before Bitcoin crashed

Plans to do an all-EDM tour later this year

5. Ward Davis

Secretly bullies Cody Jinks

Still says "Dilly Dilly!"

Keeps telling everybody new music is coming "soon" but it never does

4. Holly Williams

First person to ingest a Tide Pod on video

Can only name 3 Hank Sr. songs

Drives 10 mph below speed limit in left lane

3. Drew Kennedy

Never cleans stations in the gym after using them

Doesn't wash out the sink after beard grooming

Tour rider includes "organic kale candy" and "fitted hemp Phillies cap"

2. Courtney Patton

Spreads rumors about Jamie Lin Wilson on Snapchat

Tells dirty jokes at funerals

Vapes dill pickle flavor at songwriting sessions

1. Paul Thorn

Does the old "replace the vodka with water" trick on his tour bus

Constantly reminds fans he used to be a boxer

Never plays his top 5 songs on Spotify in concert

Always has a few credit card skimmers on hand