Sep 27, 2011
Sep 26, 2011
Top 10 More Ways You Can Know a Country Album Sucks Without Listening to It
Top 10 More Ways You Can Know a Country Album Sucks Without Listening to It
10. Brand name clearly visible on back of singer's jeans
08. The word "incredible" or "machine" is on the album cover
07. It came free with purchase of wallet/chain set
06. It was released by Curb Records
05. This follows most of the song titles (feat. insert some other artist )
04. More than three of these words appear on the album cover: hook, redneck, beer, twang, outlaws, Chevy, guns, honky
03. The word "titty" is on the cover but there's no parental advisory label
02. Ask Reginald Spears, he'll tell you.
01. It's this album.
Sep 25, 2011
Sep 24, 2011
YouTube Gems: Eddie Rabbitt
I spent a little time in Kentucky this past week and experienced a little cold rain our last day there. With "Kentucky Rain," here's the song's writer, the dearly departed Eddie Rabbitt. (It's also my favorite Elvis tune)
Sep 21, 2011
Sep 20, 2011
I'm Sorry, This Exists 2
Irony at its best: A Carrie Underwood BBQ Apron (I guess you can barbecue veggies, but whatever)
Jason Aldean Logo Tattoo
Sep 19, 2011
Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Trent Tomlinson
Trent Tomlinson - A Man Without a Woman
I am told the singer of this song is well known for running around with lots of random women, so right off the top I've got a lot of jealousy disrespect towards this fellow. Him and his young, handsome looks and trendy doo-rag.
The first verse reveals him to be an untrustworthy narrator from the start. He mentions partying too hard, which is code for imbibing on alcoholic beverages and hanging around smoky drinking establishments hoping to entice scantily clad young women to have intercourse with him. There is so much sin inherent to this lifestyle, it's no wonder so many twenty-somethings who lose their lives early are on the Amtrak straight to Hell's train station.
Now, while the next verse is fine spiritually, the chorus of this song is truly Biblically incorrect. It says that a man who doesn't have a woman is lost. Really? Is that what you think, Mr. Tomlinson? Perhaps you haven't met my wife, but that's an aside for another day. What's at stake here is Trent's final resting place.
Yay verily a man is only lost without the Lord. A man without a woman may lack someone to cook his meals, clean his abode, raise his children, iron his clothes, wash his truck, plan his schedule, pay the bills, buy groceries and help entertain guests, but he is most certainly NOT lost. This is false teaching.
Mr. Tomlinson goes on to have the main character of this song question God's plan in the bridge. He wonders why our Heavenly Father took his woman but hasn't taken him yet. Give us a huge break, sir. Possibly the Lord still needs the man's services as a Walmart greeter or diabetes commercial spokesperson. It is not for us to question God's timing.
In summation, A Man Without a Woman, while not as prurient or vile as most Trashville musical selections, is still a troubling discourse on man's misplaced priorities in this sin-driven society. Abstain from giving it audience and most certainly, disregard its foul woman-centric message. Eve is in Hell.
D-
Sep 16, 2011
YouTube Gems: Guns n' Roses
As big of a fan as I am of country and other rootsy genres, Guns n' Roses' Appetite for Destruction is my favorite album of all time, bar none. It's also on my every-Friday playlist. From that classic, here's the classic lineup with Nightrain.
YouTube Gems: Drew Kennedy
From Drew's upcoming (stellar) album Fresh Water in the Salton Sea, here are my scruffy pals Drew Kennedy and Josh Grider with "War with Myself."
Sep 15, 2011
Sep 14, 2011
Suckin' Must Be Country Wide
Suckin' Must Be Country Wide
(Parody of Brantley Gilbert's "Country Must Be Country Wide")
From New York past the Mason Dixon
California to upper Michigan
Fake ass country's playin', that's a fact
They say "Cash" and they mention Waylon
These new boys ain't country, I call that failin'
Me oh my oh; They can all lick my sack
From pressed Wranglers to shined boots
They're nothin' like ol' Chris LeDoux
Whoever said they're badass lied
Yeah, suckin' must be country wide
In every town, there's a station
Playin' Colt Ford, Brantley and Jason
In mini-vans and redneck rides
There's fangirls and fake bikers
Tumblr and Facebook likin'
There ain't a thought in their minds
Suckin' must be country wide
It ain't where, it's what they fake
Outlaw is what they claim, but outlaw they ain't
Real outlaws don't pose on the CMT
Trucks, beer, girls, party and repeat
They crank guitars up loud so you can't fall asleep
on imitation authenticity
And I see what's wrong
Money's what it's about
Here's advice for them all
Keep the Possum's name out of your mouth
In every town, there's a station
Playin' Justin Moore, Church and Jason
In parking lots and river sides
There's douchebags and hick-hoppers
Pretty boys and name droppers
There ain't a thought in their minds
Suckin' must be country wide
In every town, there's a station
Playin' Colt Ford, Brantley and Jason
In mini-vans and redneck rides
There's fangirls and fake bikers
Tumblr and Facebook likin'
There ain't a thought in their minds
Suckin' must be country wide
In every town, there's a station
Playin' Colt Ford, Brantley and Jason
In mini-vans and redneck rides
There's fangirls and fake bikers
Tumblr and Facebook likin'
There ain't a thought in their minds
Put my foot in their behinds
Suckin' must be country wide
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