Farce the Music: Thomas Rhett

Showing posts with label Thomas Rhett. Show all posts

Jun 8, 2023

Succession Country Reaction Gifs

When an Aldean fan asks if they should try out for Jeopardy

When Blake Shelton called us jackasses for not liking bro-country

When George Jones only had part of the money for his dealer

Why is Wallen a millionaire while your favorite tours in an unreliable beat up van?

When somebody talks about how much they love Dan + Shay

When Waylon and Merle ran into each other in the hall

How to know if you're a character in a Sailor's Guide to Earth song

Me: Perhaps this country song would be better with real drums

Them:

5 seconds into that John Rich / Tom MacDonald song

"Are you sure you won't go see Thomas Rhett & Cole Swindell with me"

Mar 31, 2023

The CMT Awards or Wrestlemania? A Viewer's Guide

Both shows are on Sunday night (though WM is also on Saturday). Here are some helpful points to help you decide which show to watch!

Mar 23, 2023

Blaxploitation Film Country Reaction Gifs

If you step on Hank Jr.'s cowboy boots

When he walks in wearing Luke Combs Crocs

If you ever see me listening to Thomas Rhett on Spotify, ask this:

🎵 There's only you and me and we just disagree 🎵

When he won't turn off the Florida-Georgia Line

When you finally hear a Dan + Shay song

What I shoulda said to Blake Shelton on Twitter

When a dude standing on the side of a bridge insults Dolly Parton

When she's up early, playing some Morgan Wallen

Mar 10, 2023

Mar 8, 2023

Bubba Shot the TouchTunes

Bubba Shot the TouchTunes

We were all down at O’Brady’s bar

Tellin' stories if we had one

Someone fired the new TouchTunes up

The song it sure was a bad one

A sweat drop rolled down Bubba's nose

From the cringe the song was inflictin'

And all at once he jumped to his feet

Yelled “You’ve got to be shittin’!”

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

Said it played a bad song that got him riled

Went to his truck and grabbed his Armalite

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

Bubba ain't never been a fan

Of pop songs with twangy singin’

And he did not care for Thomas Rhett

So he let the bullets go slinging

He bought a round 'til the cops showed up

Was the toast of Beef O’Brady’s

We told him, “You know that was pretty dumb”

But our ears did appreciate it

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

Said it played a bad song that got him riled

Went to his truck and grabbed his Armalite

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

When the sheriff arrived with his swat team crew

Lookin’ for our troublemaker

He shook his head and said

"Bubba boy, you was always a hater”

A reckless discharge of a gun

And putting the public in danger

Bubba hollered out danger hell

Been worse if Luke Bryan was playin’

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

Said it played a bad song that got him riled

Went to his truck and grabbed his Armalite

Well, he shot the TouchTunes

Stopped it with ten shots

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

Well, he gave not a single shit

As that song machine died

Wasn’t no Waylon on that list

So it’s premeditated homicide

Bubba shot the TouchTunes

Stopped it with ten shots

Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night

Feb 21, 2023

Elderly Country Songs: Aaron Lewis, Tyler Childers, Kelsea Ballerini, Thomas Rhett

Tyler Childers

Follow You to the Buffet

Creaker

82nd Winter

Bottles and Burials

Aaron Lewis

Am I The Only One Left

Sizzler Every Saturday Night

Kelsea Ballerini

I Quit Driving

Edema (ft The Chainsmokers)

If You Fall Down (And You Can’t Get Up)

I Hate Hippity Hop Songs

Thomas Rhett

Something to Do About My Hands

When We’re 90

Put Ice On It

Have to Pee

Jan 23, 2023

Dec 23, 2022

Pop-Country Singer Shares Lovingly Scripted Holiday Family Hijinks

Superstar pop-country singer ____ recently shared some lovingly curated pre-Christmas hijinks with his household. It was highly family-friendly and positive to preclude any naysayers of said artist from finding anything worthy of “hating” on.

In the series of videos, ____ led his family of 23 people and 2 dogs in a clearly rehearsed musical number featuring songs from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman. All persons involved, including the children, were as poised and trained as Disney Channel actors and actresses, putting forth the sort of commercially acceptable filler content sites like The Boot and Taste of Country revel in this time of year, with there being little other news of note going on.

Only a Grinch, Scrooge, Satan, or “that ain’t real country” blogger could find any sort of fault in these primped, staged, and PR committee approved scenes of Yuletide glee.

The cynicism-proof videos also featured cutely choreographed dance numbers featuring ____ himself wearing an elf costume and doing whatever TikTok dance is currently in fashion. Once upon a time, the singer was a bit rougher around the edges and said things that rubbed people the wrong way from time to time, but these days he is a straight up f**king Hallmark movie.

To prove they aren’t entirely straight-laced, ____ and his beautiful wife were also seen playing naughty (wholesome and scripted) pranks on one another. In one oh-so-cute clip, ___’s wife dumped a bucket of paper snow on ___’s head as he walked out of the bathroom. He fell to the carpet in premeditated shock and silliness, just like Waylon woulda done if such technology had existed in the late 70s.

At press time, _____ was helping his social media manager edit a video in which the singer ‘hilariously’ suggests the kids leave out White Claw and Quest bars for Santa.