More Trucks Than Cars

Seriously though... all that stuff is in this one song!

Shooter, Hank and Trucks

Monday Morning Memes: Colt Ford, Bret Michaels, Taylor, etc.

4/5 by Jeremy Harris

Lyrical Satirical: Badass

Badass

©2013 FTM Satire

Got a chrome bull bar on my F-150

Big shinin' wheels and damn right it's lifted

Got a country hottie, she's drunk and ready

Might get in them cut-offs if she'll let me

Tailgate down in a rutted up pasture

Beer is fine but that jar's a lot faster

If a sip don't burn, it ain't moonshine

If the truck ain't tall, well it ain't mine

If you won't fight, you ain't a man

If you ain't country, ain't worth a damn

If you ain't first, you're closer to last

If you ain't me, you ain't

Badass

Got a part-time job at the uptown Target

If a price changes, damn right I'll mark it

Got a full ride down at the junior college

Still livin' home while I get my knowledge

Got my gated subdivision on a sticker

But that don't mean I ain't an ass-kicker

If a sip don't burn, it ain't moonshine

If the truck ain't tall, well it ain't mine

If you won't fight, you ain't a man

If you ain't country, ain't worth a damn

If you ain't first, you're closer to last

If you ain't me, you ain't

Badass

Bridge

Crankin' A$AP Rocky, textin' on my cell

Wearin' Ed Hardy lookin' bad as hell

Bangin' drunk skanks, not southern belles

Buyin' moonshine off a Kroger shelf

If a sip don't burn, it ain't moonshine

If the truck ain't tall, well it ain't mine

If you won't fight, you ain't a man

If you ain't country, ain't worth a damn

I've never even listened to Johnny Cash

But If you ain't me, you ain't

Badass

Fun With Charts and Graphs: Country Song Subject Matter 2012

Condescending Wonka Weighs in on Your Christmas Present

End of the World Meme

I Think This is One of Them Double Entendrays

Thanks to @ohbuffalo for the meme!

2 Random Monday Memes

Well, I Wouldn't Go Quite That Far...

Thanks to Jeremy Harris for the submission.

And I didn't even have to use my AK...

Monday Morning Memes: Trucks, Brantley Gilbert, Conway

Oh No! Is This George Strait's New Album Cover??

No, thankfully... it's not.

Monday Morning Memes: Florida-Georgia Line, Trucks, etc.

4 New Country eCards: George Strait, Brantley Gilbert, etc.

Monday Memes: Chad Brock, Trucks, BG

Lyrical Satirical: Jesus in My Truck

Jesus in My Truck

©2012 FTM Lyrics

If Jesus showed up at my house

And wanted to go ridin' round

I'd tell him hop on in

My Chevy with the big ol' tires

Man, it couldn't ride much higher

I'd play some Cash for Him

Chorus

And we'd roll with the windows down

Them gravel roads outside of town

Then throw a line and catch some bream

And He could feed all of my friends

And turn water to Miller Lite

Nobody'd be in the mood to fight

And my pickup would never get stuck

With Jesus in my truck

I'd introduce Him to my girl

Thank Him for cut off jeans and squirrels

And Skoal and camoflauge

We'd watch the Ole Miss Rebels play

And maybe once they'd win a game

Then we'd go haul some logs

And we'd roll with the windows down

Them red dirt roads outside of town

Then throw a line and catch some bream

And He could feed all of my friends

And turn water to Miller Lite

Nobody'd be in the mood to fight

And my pickup would never get stuck

With Jesus in my truck

Bridge

He wouldn't pick no city boy

No hipster with no Prius car

Cause Jesus likes to keep it real

In a full-size with a chrome roll bar

And we'd roll with the windows down

Them gravel roads outside of town

Then throw a line and catch some bream

And He could feed all of my friends

Then we'd go out and meet my folks

Maybe He'd bring back my ol' dog, Smoke

Man I tell you it wouldn't suck

Truck no, it would never get stuck

With Jesus in my truck

More Trucks Than Cars Meme

#TRUCKYEAH Meme

Lyrical Satirical: The Country Listing Song

The Country Listing Song

©2012 FTM Satires

Kudzu on a city limit sign

Pasture party past the county line

Jack and Jim

And redneck friends

Bonfire, tailgate, melon rind

This is the country listing song

Come on everybody, sing along

Scream "hell yeah" if you're country strong

Say I ain't country, I'll prove you wrong

With this here country listing song

City folks and cities suck

I like bass fishin' and whitetail bucks

Hank and Strait

Barbecue plate

Hot cousin in my pickup truck

This is the country listing song

Come on everybody, sing along

Scream "hell yeah" if you're country strong

Say I ain't country, I'll prove you wrong

With this here country listing song

Bridge

Jesus, mama, American way

Small town, love, some other cliché

This is the country listing song

Drink Bud Light till the night is gone

Trim your beard with a shaver from Braun

Try Medifast, tell that gut "So long!"

Get I Heart Radio on your iPhone

This is the country listing song