Aug 30, 2024

Concern Growing as Gap Between New Zach Bryan Music Nears 2 Months

“What if he never puts out another song?” asked a distressed Lyndi Partridge in a TikTok video on Wednesday. “I mean, he’s off social media and now this… I don’t know how to experience joy.”

Another fan, @sadassman32x4 Tweeted (Xed?): I’m about to start back drinking if Zach Bryan doesn’t put out some new music soon. And also if he does.

These sentiments seem increasingly common among fans of the Oklahoma-born superstar, as the time since his most recent release nears 2 full months. While in past years most artists would put out one album per year or two, today’s realities demand more constant contact with fans. With streaming royalties being paltry, bands and singers sometimes drop as many as 35+ songs in a year in this new era, and we don’t just mean Ryan Adams.

“I’m bored and sad and vaping more lately, but I’ve been trying out Wyatt Flores in the meantime,” said a Bryan fan we spoke with. “He’s putting out his second album of the year so he must really care about his fans.”

In past years, Zach Bryan was prone to releasing an EP not long after an LP, not long after a single, not long after a maxi-single, not long after a live album, so it’s easy to see why his fans are growing impatient.

“I’ve moved on,” said a recent Facebook comment. “As much as it hurts to say this, I’m a Jelly Roll fan now - he knows that as a 17-25 year old raised on gaming and social media dopamine blasts, I need endless stimulation so he puts out like 3 songs a week. I’ve already forgotten that Jack Bryan dude. Sucks to suck.”

At press time, Zach Bryan had probably just dropped or was about to drop an EP and make this story even more pointless.

Aug 29, 2024

Zach Top Covers Diffie's "Pickup Man"

The Assembly Line


AI Illustrated 80s Country Songs

A list of the song is at the end, if you can't figure some of them out.









Willie & Merle - Pancho & Lefty
Hank Jr. - Whiskey Bent & Hell Bound
George Strait - The Fireman
Randy Travis - Deeper Than the Holler
Ray Stevens - The Mississippi Squirrel Revival
The Judds - Mama He's Crazy

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #85

That dude who drove 400 miles to see Tyler Childers, standing alone, praying for a third encore so he can hear "Whitehouse Road"

When Lucero and Stugill are playing successive nights in your town and you're over 40

Me when the dude who bought the last large Silverada shirt I wanted busts his ass on the way out of the show

Sturgill Simpson when he was about to drop Sound & Fury

When you’re bald AF and can't find your Cody Jinks cap

When you hear what sounds like an Otis Redding song being sung over by a pop-country douchebag

When you ask an Americana singer if he can spare some beard oil

Dasha or Shaboozey's next big hit


When you tell your friend you think Zach Bryan is pretty good so he’ll shut the f**k up about him 

Garth burying the body of country music which he singularly killed, as I’m too often reminded 


What does John Cougar Mellencamp do when somebody hands him a chili dog?

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