Dallas Davidson Feminism

Country eCards Oct. '13: Dallas Davidson, sexism, etc.

Just in Time For Fall Fairs and Carnivals!

Dallas Davidson Says 2

Dallas Davidson Says...

Top 10 Things Dallas Davidson Thinks Are Cool

10. An upstairs neighbor playing Godsmack really loud at 12:30 on a Sunday night

09. Bombing Syria

08. Erectile dysfunction

07. Moob sweat at an important meeting

06. Getting logged out of Netflix and forgetting the log-in info

during an "Orange is the New Black" binge

05. Stepping in dog shit, barefoot 

04. When Walt poisoned that kid on Breaking Bad

03. Slightly overweight people taking all the scooters for handicapped people at Walmart

02. Alex Rodriguez

01. Unflushed poo in public toilets

*Dallas Davidson is the cowriter of "Honky-Tonk Badonkadonk," "That's My Kinda Night," "Boys Round Here,"

"Country Girl (Shake It For Me)" and various other piece-of-shit "country" songs that have added to the

destruction of the mainstream segment of the genre.

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Luke Bryan - That's My Kinda Night

Luke Bryan - That's My Kinda Night

(click to listen)

Proverbs 18:15  ESV

An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.

It looks like the writers and singer of this impossibly stupid song failed to study their Proverbs. Instead, they delight in being dummies. They rejoice in jackassery. They exalt idiocy. If one wishes to witness the results of the American educational system, they need only turn the radio to a country or "hip hoppin'" station. There, the buffoonery and feeble-mindedness of the general populace is on full display for your incredulous ear.

And now we have the point at which these two bastions of bone-headedness come together! Yes Christians, the country folk and their urban brothers are finally setting aside their differences and smashing the musical genres of Blake Shelton and "Snoopy Dogg" together into some un-Godly mess of slang and lapsed morals. When two dummies collaborate, you can't expect anything enlightening to come of it. Mercy upon those who enjoy this travesty!

This Luke Bryan song speaks of hottie country girls and beer and tailgates. At one point, Mr. Bryan even asks his female companion to hand him a beer while they are still in his "big black jacked up truck." This is not only against the Lord's will and against the law, it is in direct conflict with furtherance of the human species. Natural selection, I believe they call this? Unfortunately, Darwin seems to be wrong yet again because people just keep getting stupider and stupider.

Proverbs 1:5 ESV

Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance.

Luke Bryan and the writers of this song seem to prove the old saying that "a fool despises wisdom." Fans of this song are allowed to operate motor vehicles and vote. If that doesn't make you turn to God, I don't know what will. 

Folks, any song that celebrates that lusty pervert Conway Twitty can't be any good for the soul. This one is also detrimental to the mind. Stay far from this if you value your earthly virtues and expect eternal rest. And for you low-information music fans who live only to see Mr. Bryan "twork" his backside in jeans a man should never wear and sing drivel such as this….. Hell awaits.

F

If Dallas Davidson Had Written These Americana Classics

If Dallas Davidson Had Written________

Steve Earle - Copperhead Road

Well my name's Brantley Gallimore

Standin' in the line at the grocery store

The only fake ID we've got is mine

So I'm buying' five jars of Kroger Moonshine

Lyle Lovett - If I Had a Boat

If I had a boat

I'd fill it up with hotties

And if I had a jet ski

I'd ride around my boat

And we could party all night

Shake it for me, hotties

Me upon my jet ski round my boat

Ryan Adams - Come Pick Me Up

I wish I could

Come pick you up

In my truck

Buzz you up

Crank Nickelback

See all my friends

They're all full of beer

There's no lines in your tan

Let's skinny-dip

I wish you would

Lucinda Williams - Car Wheels on a Gravel Road

Chillin' in a pasture outside of Macon

Jay-Z is rappin' on the radio

Smell of bonfire, dip and Jager

Truck wheels on a gravel road

Gram Parsons - Return of the Grievous Angel

Won't you rock my world little country girl

And ride with me out of town

Check out these sweet deer tracks I got at the tattoo parlor

And then pull your cut-off jeans on down

Co-Writers to Crappiness of Song Ratio?

I realize this argument only works in a vacuum, so take this graphic with a grain of salt. 

Many classic songs were written by 2-3 people and on the flip side,
"Achy Breaky Heart" was written by Don Von Tress alone.

Still….

Monday Morning Memes: T-Pain, Dallas Davidson, More Trucks

Sackpunch #16: Dallas Davidson

Dallas Davidson Deserves a Sackpunch

I'm not going to bother writing much of anything about this dude. However, I believe, as much as a songwriter can, Dallas Davidson has done nearly irreversible damage to the genre of country music on the mainstream level. Some other writers have been a part of some truly awful songs, but Dallas' track record is a tote board full of douche-ocity, truck fetishism and misogyny. For that, he deserves one of the most painful and physically damaging sackpunches FTM has ever issued. If you need some proof, look no further than the following videos & songs. He wrote or co-wrote all of them.















And not one to rest on his laurels, Dallas has now provided us with what may be the worst country song of all time:


Get ready, DD.

Luke Bryan - That's My Kinda Night: Honest Radio Promo Ad

The Peach Pickers say...