Farce the Music: George Strait

Apr 17, 2020

George Strait is a Big Fraud, Says Ignorant Man

“He’s a joke! People call him the King,” said Reed Bartholomew about country legend George Strait. “King of what? Pretty boys who suck!”

Bartholomew, a self-described hardcore country fan, contacted us to broadcast his feelings that Strait is overrated and a detriment to the history of country music. His points are passionate but a bit misguided.

“For one thing,” began the moron, “he’s skinny and handsome and well-dressed… real country singers are grungy and haggard like Johnny Paycheck …and Haggard.” Appearances, including good hygiene, lucky genetics, and healthfulness have little to do with the authenticity of music but go on, Barth.

“Also, he’s always singing about horses and cowboys, but I bet he’s never even roped a steer… damn stage-boots-wearin’ poser.” said Bartholomew of Strait, who grew up on and also runs a ranch, holds a degree in agriculture, and once competed in the Pro Rodeo Cowboys Association in team-roping.

“Why should we look up to a pretty fake cowboy when there’s men and women in camo standing up for our freedom?” continued the idiot, unaware that Strait served in the US Army from 1971-1975 and achieved the rank of Corporal.

“He don’t even write his own songs, and that’s why I think he’s not even in the top 100 country singers of all time… he just stands on the stage and strums his guitar.” finished Bartholomew. While not known as a songwriter for most of his career, Strait has written and cowritten over 25 of his songs, particularly on his last few albums - far more than Reed Bartholomew has ever written in his life.

He’s right about the guitar though. One point to the dumbass.