Showing posts with label Post Malone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Post Malone. Show all posts

May 16, 2024

Ryan Gosling Country Reaction Gifs

When I see Aldean on someone’s outlaw country playlist 

When you shot a man in Reno just to watch him die 

A Midland member right before walking into the combination haberdashery/pour-over coffee shop

You don’t like Wyatt Flores?

When she loves long walks on the beach, Miller High Life, and Wheeler Walker Jr.

When somebody says a Hardy cover is better than Diffie’s original 

When she hears hip-hop beats in a “country” song and immediately changes the station

And ten minutes in, just when I thought the Billy Strings song was over

How a bro-country fan accepts rejection 



“You can either sing Zach Bryan songs around the campfire with us or you can leave”

Aug 21, 2020

Mainstream Country Festival With No Singers Draws 30,000

What if you threw a country music festival and no artists came? Well that’s what happened just outside Pembroke, GA this past weekend, and the event drew an estimated 30,211 drunken revelers. 

DirtyFest, a music festival promoted as “a day of tunes, beer, and buds,” took place this past Saturday without a stage and without a single country music artist performing, yet snarled county traffic and filled a hay field with throngs of fans. 

“It was lit.” said ‘event promoter’ Jake Chadderson. “Been bored as s**t for 7 months so I just figured we’d get some folks together and party!” He said that the idea was to recreate a country music festival to such a degree that nobody would even notice there wasn’t anybody singing up on stage. 

“Me and my boys never watch the concert anyway, and we couldn’t afford anybody we’ve heard of to play, so f*** it, we just had a throwdown.” said Chadderson. “They don’t even play Lil Uzi Vert or Post Malone at country concerts, so this was better anyway. We just had big speakers up all over the place playing our Spotify playlists.” 

To get the true ambiance of a country festival, vendors sold $9 tallboys and $5 waters, overpriced undercooked sausage dogs, and $40 t-shirts. There were plenty of mud holes, long lines for the few port-a-potties, and lax security. 

Festival goers reported multiple fights during the event’s 7 hour running time. “It was just like a normal country festival,” laughed Karyn Lowe of Smyrna. “Twerking, fighting, drinking… whooo! Just like my last Luke Bryan show or whoever that was.”

Many attendees didn’t even seem to realize there were no bands or singers. “You’re bulls******* me. I know I saw Kane Brown playing,” said Randy Kettering of Tallahassee. “I mean, I just go to shows to get b****es so I don’t really pay attention, but my boy told me Dustin Lynch played a good set on the South stage. But he was pretty drunk, so…” 

Chadderson told us the $79 ticket was to cover the insurance for the event. “And the prize money for the Tik Tok W.A.P. dance challenge.”

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