Paint Chips...you tend to eat them. -CB
You're not entirely sure what your virginity is and where it might be if you have lost it. -VF
You had to "register" and alert your neighbors concerning your "incident." - @DosRingos
The rest of the literate world has to sound out your Twitter and Facebook posts because they follow no accepted rules of spelling, grammar, or abbreviation. -MN
You go to a Randy Rogers concert and expect him to gyrate his hips during "Fuzzy." -CF
You drink Fireball Whiskey because as Shakespeare said, you hold your manhood cheap. - @TheJackalopeTX
Numb from the waist down because your pants are too tight and numb from the neck up because you do actually listen to to Luke Bryan -BM
You defend any criticism about Luke Bryan's music with the phrase, "But he's sooooooo hott!!!!" -SG
You think Earl Dibbles Jr is real. -DR
You keep a spare pair of skinny jeans in your trunk just in case you have a blowout. - @shelbyjo
You wear your boots with your chubbies. -LY
You didn't know you could listen to music on the internets. -VC
You have to borrow your mom's credit card to buy his music - @MMars75
You own a $50,000 truck, but the wheels have never touched anything but concrete. -BS
You had to have a special hemorrhoid relief seat installed in your big black jacked up truck due to many hours of sitting on that diamond plate tailgate -JS
You start calling your mom 'girl.' -MP
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Thanks to FTM's Facebook friends and Twitter pals for the submissions!
