The Highwaybros

Not to be outdone by the Highwomen's reimagining of The Highwaymen's "The Highwayman," a new group has formed... the Highwaybros.

Highwaybro

(parody of "The Highwayman")

I am a highwaybro

Up and down backroads I do ride

With beer and baby by my side

Many a young maid set bare feet upon my dash

Many a city boy had me whoop his punk ass

The popo got me in the spring for DUI

But f*** em I still drive

I am a player

I just gave your girl a ride

And with her all night I’ll abide

I drive a Raptor round the square to impress hos

She liked my lift kit and the way my high beams glow

Never used no protection and I never will

I hope she’s on the pill

I was a left fielder

Who smoked too much dope every night

My scholarship’s been cast aside

A place called Belmont, but my folks let me stay though

I’m learning songwriting, lit, and basic bio

Curb saw my headshot and they want me to come down

I guess I’m big star bound

I'll always be around and around and around and around and around

I fly a middle finger

Across the Davidson countyside

Got a lot of artificial pride

I walk with swagger, stick my chest out like a man

Perhaps I may roll coal on a soy boy again

Or I may simply send a dick-pic to Elaine

But I will remain

My kind comes back again, and again and again and again and again

The Crud Report: August 2019

Really Dumb Country Reviews: Tyler Childers, FGL, Miranda, etc.

Real reviews from a popular digital music seller.

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Thomas Rhett - Center Point Road

Luke Bryan - Knockin' Boots

Tyler Childers - Country Squire

FGL - Can't Say I Ain't Country

Miranda Lambert - It All Comes Out in the Wash

Highwomen - s/t

Knockin' Boots Through the Ages

Saved by the Bell Country Reaction Gifs

Hey Screech, wanna see my souvenir program from the Luke Bryan concert?

Country radio be like

When you tell her you like The Highwaymen and The Highwomen

Still more country than Sam Hunt

Tyler Childers' new album comes out Friday! 

When a major country label sees a 6'3" handsome white dude who can kinda sing

Kane Brown is very talented

"Hey Mr. Belding, I beat that kid up because he insulted Waylon Jennings"

Country TwitterWIN: July 2019

Country TwitterFAIL: July 2019

Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan, Reviews Hardy’s “Rednecker”

Listen too it here if your stupid.

First of all, I'm pretty pissed at Trailer for this one. He told me this song was by some new underground country singer, so when I herd it i actually conected to a lot of it. I mean, I really do piss where I want too! [editor’s note: I did not say that]

And then I saw the dudes face and saw he was like Bobby Bonehead's cousin or something. Probably siamese qu... never mind, Trailer told me to take that part out. Anyway, I questioned Trailer about it and he told me this Hardy dude was actually on a major label! Screw you Trailer for making me listen to Mr. Hard On. 

But now that I know this is a hit on pop country radio I dont like it no more, even if it does speak to a lot of american values. If youre on the same station as Puke Bryan, you're not country. Hell, Luke bryan? Never heard of her! That gets me everytime. 

It makes me maddern a ole wet whore to, because this dudes got a good mullet that goes to waist on this trying to be popular and success full. Why would you be a good artist and want more then 4 or 5 people who know bout you?

Listen to reel country like Joe Gussie and the Dirt Pickers and stay away from this crap. Actually, stay away from Joe, otherwise he might sell out if too many people know about him. I'm rednecker than this Handy guy, and that's because i only like real country and don't have a personal stylist.

-Written by the “real” Carl Outlaw