Farce the Music

Jun 26, 2012

Top 10 Dumbass Lines That Will Be on the Next Luke Bryan Album

10. How much donk's in that badonkadonk?

9. She's got her hands in the air, showing off that pair

8. Doin' donuts in my truck, wanna hit that donut hole

7. Say "Heyyyyyy, we want some couuuuntryyyyy!"

6. I love you like a fat redneck loves fried okra

5. Pop a cold one, down the gravel road we go
Plug in your iPad, crank some I Heart Radio

4. A bench seat for your country butt
That's the way I like to truck

3. Goin' on down to the fishin hole, gonna put some beers in my mouth hole. -. ‏‪@AJSwopeLTH‬

2. Drop it down low if you know what I mean
Get some gravel road dirt on them cut off jeans

1. Sparkle jeans and turnip greens. Country baby! boom boom, shacka lacka. I got more money than you poor suckas. -Lexi Davis (FB)

I'm not sayin' anything about Brantley Gilbert, I'm just sayin'...

Lower Broadway Country Bar Cover Singer 2

Thanks again to @truersound for his help.

Jun 25, 2012

Mud Digger Volume 3 Has a Warning Label

Mud Digger: Volume 3

Shameful Confessions: fun.

I shouldn't like fun. The band fun., that is. Their name has punctuation and no capital letter in it. Their music has been featured on Glee and is unapologetically pop. If not for the very adult subject matter, there would surely be a Kidz Bop version of little kids shrieking their huge hit "We Are Young." They use autotuner at times. Also, according to their hardcore fans, they sold out between their previous release Aim & Ignite and this one (Some Nights).

So what's the deal, Trailer? The deal is: fun. is catchy as hell. Their music is huge, epic-sounding, and full of ridiculously sharp hooks. The singer, Nate Ruess, sounds like the pop radio version of Freddie Mercury, full of Broadway musical rock bluster. Even those positives should sound like negatives to a hard-ass country fan who prefers to hear whiskey in a voice over whiskey in a lyric, but somehow it works.

There are plenty of bands with catchy songs and good singers out there. Why does fun. rise above the crowd? Aside from the fact that I genuinely enjoy their sound, it's the songwriting. The lyrics aren't exactly your typical pop fare. Here are a few lines of the last Black Eyed Peas single:

"You could call me crazy man,

Everyday I'm partying,

You could find me at the club,

Popping bottles, mingling'"

And here are lyrics from fun.'s current single, "Some Nights":

"My heart is breaking for my sister and the con that she calls "love"

But when I look into my nephew's eyes...

Man, you wouldn't believe the most amazing things that can come from...

Some terrible lies"

Sure, pop is supposed to be disposable and dumb like The Black Eyed Peas, but then, that's why I don't like 99% of pop music. I need something beyond a sugary hook or bouncy baseline to keep me coming back. fun. provides depth along with the absurdly earwormy melodies.

Their first major hit, "We Are Young," hit on drug abuse, rebellion and domestic violence. I'm betting 90% of the people who bought the song on iTunes had no idea it was that deep of a song. And why should they? fun. makes music for everybody: the casual listener who just likes something to sing along to, and the true music fan who wants some meat on the bones.

In fact, the entire album Some Nights carries that same vibe. While the tempos change, the "spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down" approach never does. Nearly every song on the album is an intelligent pop gem.

The previous album, Aim and Ignite, is also a damn good record. fun. is a band that deserves to be mentioned with the likes of Wilco and The Shins rather than The Black Eyed Peas and Maroon 5.

I guess I've made a strong enough argument that I don't feel that guilty after all. If you have any predisposition toward pop-rock or very commercial indie-pop, you should give fun. a chance. Some Nights is definitely one of my top 20 albums of the year thus far.

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #60

When you're writing a hit country song, you should appeal to all the senses. That would seem like common sense, but most songwriters don't have the common sense to know I need a bottle of ketchup when they bring my Denny's order. You should be able to use all 5 senses, at least in your imagination, when you hear a song played 15 times a day.

Don't just tell me the beer is good. Let me taste that Coors piss-water rolling cold and smooth like a Rocky Mountain river down my hard-work-parched throat. Don't just say it's a big truck. Make me feel tiny and insignificant in the presence of the full body rebel flag wrap, 37" mud grappler tires and 6" lift. Have me hear the crickets chirping in the night woods while your speakers are blaring Waylon, Willie, Johnny, Hank and Skynyrd. I wanna check that girl in cutoffs for ticks with my bare damn hands! Let me smell exhaust, sweat and teenage desperation!

Hell, even go for a sixth sense …just being able to predict you're gonna get some from that little country cutie in a few short minutes! Yeah buddy, I'm all jacked up now and I didn't even write the song… I just told your lazy ass how to!

Now get to it before I do! That's a platinum selling single in the making right there, you jackoffs.

*Not actually written by John Rich