Feb 19, 2024
More Monday Memes: Dierks Bentley, Sam Hunt, Tyler Childers
Jan 15, 2024
Monday Morning Memes: Dierks Bentley, Tim McGraw, John Anderson
Oct 5, 2023
Transformers Country Reaction Gifs
*This is from Go-Bots, but I don't care* |
May 25, 2023
The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: May '23
The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-6) overall which is a 9 point drop from March (the previous time we did this chart). The best song is Cody Johnson's "Human." The worst is Parmalee's "Girl in Mine" which is somehow worse than Dan + Shay and Tyler Hubbard's current offerings. It's pretty precipitous drop in quality from last time, but we're heading into summer so that's to be expected. It's nice to see Joe Nichols back in the top 20!
Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.
May 19, 2023
Dierks Bentley Just as Surprised as You That He Has 22 #1 Hits
Country music star Dierks Bentley reported Thursday that he is just as surprised as you to find out that he has twenty-two number one country hits. The Arizona-born singer expressed outright shock that he’d reached such an impressive milestone.
Bentley went on to attempt to name 10 of the songs that hit number one on either the Mediabase/Country Aircheck country chart.
“Well obviously there’s “Gold” which I remember because it’s my last single, but after that it gets sketchy,” he laughed. “Okay, uh… “What Was I Thinkin’” was my first, then there were like 5 in a row that sounded alike that might’ve hit #1… does “Every Mile Down the Road I Go Alone” sound right?”
“”Sideways!” …that’s one for sure,” he went on. “Okay, being drunk somewhere popped into my head… a beach, a plane, church?, maybe at Kid Rock’s bar?”
Bentley, 47, was unable to name another of his single releases that had topped the charts correctly, throwing out phrases like he was playing Win, Lose, or Draw. “It’s hard because, you know, either my songs are party hard uptempo songs or mid tempo songs about driving somewhere, it’s difficult to keep up, honestly,” admitted Bentley.
At press time, Dierks was lamenting not being a trend-chaser and was considering a few bass drops and curse words on his next record.
May 5, 2023
Apr 12, 2023
Elderly Country Songs: Dierks, Koe Wetzel, Sam Hunt, etc.
Nov 28, 2022
New Video / Dierks Bentley ft. Billy Strings / "High Note"
Nov 4, 2022
Apr 7, 2022
The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: April '22
A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive. Total score below the chart.
The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-8) overall which is an 8 point drop from January (the previous time we did this chart). The best song is Carly Pearce/Ashley McBryde’s “Never Wanted to Be That Girl.” The worst is Walker Hayes’ “AA” (big surprise, huh?). The songs are getting dumber as summer nears, like they usually do.
Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.
Oct 29, 2021
Cledus T. Judd Retires, Unable to Parody Modern Country Music
For the second time, country music satirist/parody writer Cledus T. Judd has put his pen and microphone away, announcing his immediate retirement from the music business. The writer/performer of such classics as “My Cellmate Thinks I’m Sexy” and “Living Single in a Doublewide” says he will now focus on family and his home restoration business.
“I almost got cancelled that time around when I put out that Morgan Wallen parody “(Weight’s Goin’) Up Down, Up Down,” laughed Judd. “Weight Watchers and Gary Levox were pissed!” He went on to say that today’s social sensitivities aren’t conducive to his brand of humor. Still, he considers that a distant second to the true reason he’s calling it quits for good.
“It’s already a parody of itself! There’s nothing for me to do,” said Judd, real name Barry Poole, of modern country music. “I guess I could just sing the existing songs in a funnier voice to let the listener know how ridiculous lyrics like “ayyy my girl is bangin’” and “we turning up, got double cups” already are.” Poole said he longed for the days of the nineties and early two-thousands when mainstream country subject matter was varied and the writing was full of imagery.
“I looked at the chart yesterday and half the songs were thirty-something dudes singing songs about twenty-something dudes picking up girls at a bar and hitting the backroads. That’s like if all my songs were about bodily functions… oh wait.” he winked. “Anyway, with ‘truck’ in every song… the only funny words that rhyme are ‘suck’ and the f-word, neither of which are in my ‘PG but still somehow offensive’ wheelhouse.”
As we closed out the interview, Judd went off on a short tangent attempting to come up with parody titles of current songs on the spot as if reconsidering his decision. “Fanning my poots” …no, “blowing you”… hell no, “best thing since fat girls” …screw it. I’m done.”