Farce the Music: Garth Brooks

Apr 8, 2020

Top 10 Worst Country Quarantine House Guests

----------

10. Garth Brooks

Just cries in the corner the whole time.

9. Kacey Musgraves

Smokes up all your weed.

8. Gary LeVox

In this temporarily ‘nicer’ era of Farce the Music, I will leave this one alone, but you know why he’s here.

7. Martina McBride

High stakes poker games with toilet paper for money. Constantly setting up booby traps and cleaning her AK for when “shit goes down.”

6. Cody Jinks

Won’t stop reminding everyone that The Rock is a big fan. Unfortunately, Ward Davis had to come along too - it’s a package deal.

5. Justin Moore

Constantly needs help reaching stuff in the cabinet and climbing up on the toilet.

4. Mitchell Tenpenny

Your wife won’t come out of the bedroom because “his staring is getting really creepy.” Refuses to wash his hands.

3. Thomas Rhett

Brings over all his kids and their friends, negating the whole social distancing thing. Wants to have Ed Sheeran karaoke contests 24/7.

2. Sam Hunt

Expects you to keep his hair cut and styled for him. Water bill extremely high from washing all his jogger pants. Wants you to be the snap track for him when he’s writing songs.

1. Shooter Jennings

Eats all your Funyuns. His ‘essential’ luggage is 5 crates of He-Man lunch boxes.

Eats up all the wifi bandwidth playing video games constantly. Conspiracy theories out the wazoo.

Mar 22, 2020

Unhinged Garth Brooks Photo of the Week

For the time being at least, we're being around 40% nicer on FTM due to the coronavirus pandemic, so we're suspending Awkward Gary for a little while. I was planning to replace him with this when Rascal Flatts retires anyway, so I guess we're getting an early start!