Country TwitterWINS: November '13

Country TwitterWINS: August '13

Little Known Facts: Feb. '13

Because of his arrest in 2006 for the "I'm Hank Williams Jr bitch!" thing, Hank had to cancel a WWE cage match for the Backlash pay per view against Natalie Maines since it caused him to miss his ride to the walkthrough.

Dee Snider is a touring backup singer for Brantley Gilbert.

Blake Shelton has never tweeted under the influence of anything other than pure stupidity.

The latest U.S. census revealed that one of George Strait's exes had moved to Arkansas from Texas.

Gary Levox is actually Mike Myers in a fat-suit.

72% of all people at a Eric Church concert purchased their boots within a week of the show. 100% of those people will take them off and hold them above their heads when he plays "These Boots".

Martina McBride broke a lounge chair over a roadie's head when she found out George Strait wasn't opening for her on The Cowboy Rides Away tour.

Florida-Georgia Line's name is a reference to the gambling addiction they both share.

Chad Brock was the second choice for this year's Super Bowl Halftime Show.

When you hear a new country hit mention Hank, it is referring to Hank Garland 92.7% of the time.

David Allan Coe has never dyed his beard, but he has had a history of mold problems.

Brantley Gilbert will be Jana Kramer's third husband before age 30. Also her first marriage to a troll-boy.

Jeff Foxworthy's "Redneck 12 Days of Christmas" is actually a detailed list of the payola required to get airplay on a country music radio station.

Zac Brown has a beanie beard-net he wears when preparing food before concerts.


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*Thanks to Jeremy Harris for most of these!

Senseless Censorship: Oct. '12

Top 10 Comments Overheard at CMA Fest 2012

10. Is Brantley Gilbert here? I want to show him my Affliction panties!

09. Why yes, I would like to supersize that!

08. Oooh, Broadway! Is that where they have the musicals?!?

07. I wore the right size tube top, but I still got a sunburn!

06. I got a Tweet asking if I wanted to motorboat with Little Big Town. It depends on which one I get to motorboat!

05. These portapotties aren't wide enough. Who am I? Kate Upton?

04.  I can see Kellie Pickler's boobies from here!

03. Yes, I was told to deliver this crate of Black Label to Martina McBride's trailer.

02. Why am I holding a can of spray paint? I'm getting Luke Bryan to sign my ass!

01. Does anybody know where you can rent one of them Walmart scooters? My cankles are killing me.

In the Year 2030 #7

The 20th season of The Voice sees Blake Shelton still making drinking jokes; the late Cee-lo Green replaced by his son Dee-lo; that Adam guy still leering at Christina Aguilera's now belly-button level cleavage.


Chad Brock headlines the Country Thrownout Hip Tour with openers Jeff Bates and Andy Griggs.


Thomas Rhett's son (Rhett Akins' grandson) Thomas Akins gets a publishing and recording contract, completely by talent and in no way because his dad and grandfather were in the industry.


Martina McBride spotted drunkenly playing quarter slots at New Orleans casino, wearing a "Dirty Grandma" t-shirt.


Country music experiencing a revival thanks to the "neo-fake-outlaw" movement which credits Eric Church as its godfather.


Impressionable teen listens to Brantley Gilbert album backwards - goes on to cure Herpes, invent tornado-proof mobile homes.


Hank IV signs with Curb Records; stricken from father and grandfather's wills.


Country rap now its own genre with independent Billboard chart. Cowboy Troy runs cutthroat record label loosely modeled after Suge Knight's Death Row.


Lady Gaga photographed by paparrazi entering a Target dressed as somebody who used to be famous.


Casey Donahew Band, biggest selling country group in history breaks up. Melinda Donahew blamed.


Taylor Swift wins CMA Lifetime Achievement Award but is unable to mug the "Taylor shocked face" due to years of botox injections.


Justin Moore becomes a proud grandpa for the first time, frequently sitting on his new grandson's lap to read him stories.

Country Day January '12: Parody Album Covers